Anonymous
04/27/2019 16:17
Subject: Too feisty at the email stage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We have just started interviewing au pairs (over email), and one seems nice, but I feel like setting up way too many boundaries at this very early stage. For instance, she replied to an email and within it stated that she is happy to help out extra, as long as we don't go over hours and that we give her notice. I never asked her to help out extra--we aren't even there yet! We are a rule following family so I am just put off by this. Any thoughts?
It sounds to me like she’s heard from other APs about their experience. If she understands that there are rules that shouldn’t be broken (45 hours) and is clear that she is responsible for helping as part of the family, what is wrong with that?
Because we clearly stayed in our profile that we adhere to the rules. It’s a fair thing to be concerned about as an AP but seems a bit presumptuous to state it before I even invited her for an interview
APs that get info from other AP groups get bad info about “how to squeeze the most of out your host family” advice and “what to lie about to blame the family” when you go into rematch. Another red flag line of questions we’ve seen passed around: Am I allowed to eat anything in the house? Will I get a credit card to buy food or will you buy all the food?
Why in the world would you think anyone would hand you a credit card on arrival unless you think Americans are all rich?
This forum is full of “how to squeeze the ABSOLUTE max out of your AP while giving as little as possible ” threads. Thanks to social media, APs are wising up and asking the right questions.
Anonymous
04/27/2019 15:33
Subject: Too feisty at the email stage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We have just started interviewing au pairs (over email), and one seems nice, but I feel like setting up way too many boundaries at this very early stage. For instance, she replied to an email and within it stated that she is happy to help out extra, as long as we don't go over hours and that we give her notice. I never asked her to help out extra--we aren't even there yet! We are a rule following family so I am just put off by this. Any thoughts?
It sounds to me like she’s heard from other APs about their experience. If she understands that there are rules that shouldn’t be broken (45 hours) and is clear that she is responsible for helping as part of the family, what is wrong with that?
Because we clearly stayed in our profile that we adhere to the rules. It’s a fair thing to be concerned about as an AP but seems a bit presumptuous to state it before I even invited her for an interview
APs that get info from other AP groups get bad info about “how to squeeze the most of out your host family” advice and “what to lie about to blame the family” when you go into rematch. Another red flag line of questions we’ve seen passed around: Am I allowed to eat anything in the house? Will I get a credit card to buy food or will you buy all the food?
Why in the world would you think anyone would hand you a credit card on arrival unless you think Americans are all rich?
Huh?
Are you commenting on the question or why it’s a red flag? I use it as a red flag because it’s really odd phrasing, so I know it’s not an original question but something they copied/pasted. It’s also the lead up to the other question, which is not the next question, but buried in a list of about 20. Sending us a giant list is a turn off anyway.
We passed on this one because she also had “how much screen time can the kids have?” Uh, none so phrasing it like you assume they can have some is another reason to pass...
Anonymous
04/27/2019 03:13
Subject: Too feisty at the email stage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We have just started interviewing au pairs (over email), and one seems nice, but I feel like setting up way too many boundaries at this very early stage. For instance, she replied to an email and within it stated that she is happy to help out extra, as long as we don't go over hours and that we give her notice. I never asked her to help out extra--we aren't even there yet! We are a rule following family so I am just put off by this. Any thoughts?
It sounds to me like she’s heard from other APs about their experience. If she understands that there are rules that shouldn’t be broken (45 hours) and is clear that she is responsible for helping as part of the family, what is wrong with that?
Because we clearly stayed in our profile that we adhere to the rules. It’s a fair thing to be concerned about as an AP but seems a bit presumptuous to state it before I even invited her for an interview
APs that get info from other AP groups get bad info about “how to squeeze the most of out your host family” advice and “what to lie about to blame the family” when you go into rematch. Another red flag line of questions we’ve seen passed around: Am I allowed to eat anything in the house? Will I get a credit card to buy food or will you buy all the food?
Why in the world would you think anyone would hand you a credit card on arrival unless you think Americans are all rich?
Huh?
Anonymous
04/26/2019 23:50
Subject: Too feisty at the email stage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We have just started interviewing au pairs (over email), and one seems nice, but I feel like setting up way too many boundaries at this very early stage. For instance, she replied to an email and within it stated that she is happy to help out extra, as long as we don't go over hours and that we give her notice. I never asked her to help out extra--we aren't even there yet! We are a rule following family so I am just put off by this. Any thoughts?
It sounds to me like she’s heard from other APs about their experience. If she understands that there are rules that shouldn’t be broken (45 hours) and is clear that she is responsible for helping as part of the family, what is wrong with that?
Because we clearly stayed in our profile that we adhere to the rules. It’s a fair thing to be concerned about as an AP but seems a bit presumptuous to state it before I even invited her for an interview
APs that get info from other AP groups get bad info about “how to squeeze the most of out your host family” advice and “what to lie about to blame the family” when you go into rematch. Another red flag line of questions we’ve seen passed around: Am I allowed to eat anything in the house? Will I get a credit card to buy food or will you buy all the food?
We recently interviewed and we told the candidate that she would have a car to use for both driving kids and her personal use---and that we split the gas with the au pair 50/50. She says, what if the au pair doesn't drive as much for personal use? Ugh. That's the rule. Deal with it. I swiped left.
Why in the world would you think anyone would hand you a credit card on arrival unless you think Americans are all rich?
If the AuPair isn't driving much and the kids have lots of activities and need lots of rides, she should not have to split the gas 50/50. That is a horrible rule. She can pay for her gas but that's not right to say she should split it if she's not primarily driving for herself.
In my area you need a car to go anywhere. To the gym, other aps homes, malls, metro, parks, anywhere where any AP with an interest in absorbing the community. So if AP is not driving that much then they are basically home all of the time . Not good for anyone involved
Anonymous
04/26/2019 23:42
Subject: Too feisty at the email stage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We have just started interviewing au pairs (over email), and one seems nice, but I feel like setting up way too many boundaries at this very early stage. For instance, she replied to an email and within it stated that she is happy to help out extra, as long as we don't go over hours and that we give her notice. I never asked her to help out extra--we aren't even there yet! We are a rule following family so I am just put off by this. Any thoughts?
It sounds to me like she’s heard from other APs about their experience. If she understands that there are rules that shouldn’t be broken (45 hours) and is clear that she is responsible for helping as part of the family, what is wrong with that?
Because we clearly stayed in our profile that we adhere to the rules. It’s a fair thing to be concerned about as an AP but seems a bit presumptuous to state it before I even invited her for an interview
APs that get info from other AP groups get bad info about “how to squeeze the most of out your host family” advice and “what to lie about to blame the family” when you go into rematch. Another red flag line of questions we’ve seen passed around: Am I allowed to eat anything in the house? Will I get a credit card to buy food or will you buy all the food?
We recently interviewed and we told the candidate that she would have a car to use for both driving kids and her personal use---and that we split the gas with the au pair 50/50. She says, what if the au pair doesn't drive as much for personal use? Ugh. That's the rule. Deal with it. I swiped left.
Why in the world would you think anyone would hand you a credit card on arrival unless you think Americans are all rich?
If the AuPair isn't driving much and the kids have lots of activities and need lots of rides, she should not have to split the gas 50/50. That is a horrible rule. She can pay for her gas but that's not right to say she should split it if she's not primarily driving for herself.
Anonymous
04/26/2019 22:07
Subject: Too feisty at the email stage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We have just started interviewing au pairs (over email), and one seems nice, but I feel like setting up way too many boundaries at this very early stage. For instance, she replied to an email and within it stated that she is happy to help out extra, as long as we don't go over hours and that we give her notice. I never asked her to help out extra--we aren't even there yet! We are a rule following family so I am just put off by this. Any thoughts?
It sounds to me like she’s heard from other APs about their experience. If she understands that there are rules that shouldn’t be broken (45 hours) and is clear that she is responsible for helping as part of the family, what is wrong with that?
Because we clearly stayed in our profile that we adhere to the rules. It’s a fair thing to be concerned about as an AP but seems a bit presumptuous to state it before I even invited her for an interview
APs that get info from other AP groups get bad info about “how to squeeze the most of out your host family” advice and “what to lie about to blame the family” when you go into rematch. Another red flag line of questions we’ve seen passed around: Am I allowed to eat anything in the house? Will I get a credit card to buy food or will you buy all the food?
We recently interviewed and we told the candidate that she would have a car to use for both driving kids and her personal use---and that we split the gas with the au pair 50/50. She says, what if the au pair doesn't drive as much for personal use? Ugh. That's the rule. Deal with it. I swiped left.
Why in the world would you think anyone would hand you a credit card on arrival unless you think Americans are all rich?
Anonymous
04/26/2019 21:53
Subject: Too feisty at the email stage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We have just started interviewing au pairs (over email), and one seems nice, but I feel like setting up way too many boundaries at this very early stage. For instance, she replied to an email and within it stated that she is happy to help out extra, as long as we don't go over hours and that we give her notice. I never asked her to help out extra--we aren't even there yet! We are a rule following family so I am just put off by this. Any thoughts?
It sounds to me like she’s heard from other APs about their experience. If she understands that there are rules that shouldn’t be broken (45 hours) and is clear that she is responsible for helping as part of the family, what is wrong with that?
Because we clearly stayed in our profile that we adhere to the rules. It’s a fair thing to be concerned about as an AP but seems a bit presumptuous to state it before I even invited her for an interview
APs that get info from other AP groups get bad info about “how to squeeze the most of out your host family” advice and “what to lie about to blame the family” when you go into rematch. Another red flag line of questions we’ve seen passed around: Am I allowed to eat anything in the house? Will I get a credit card to buy food or will you buy all the food?
Why in the world would you think anyone would hand you a credit card on arrival unless you think Americans are all rich?
Anonymous
04/26/2019 21:46
Subject: Too feisty at the email stage
Anonymous wrote:Np. Where are these rematch groups? I do the searches only with agencies
Facebook. It’s actually a red flag for us because au pairs that “suddenly” rematch have been looking for months for their “perfect” family. Or “first match” au pairs haven’t finished their application with an agency but start looking for a family already.
Anonymous
04/26/2019 21:44
Subject: Too feisty at the email stage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We have just started interviewing au pairs (over email), and one seems nice, but I feel like setting up way too many boundaries at this very early stage. For instance, she replied to an email and within it stated that she is happy to help out extra, as long as we don't go over hours and that we give her notice. I never asked her to help out extra--we aren't even there yet! We are a rule following family so I am just put off by this. Any thoughts?
It sounds to me like she’s heard from other APs about their experience. If she understands that there are rules that shouldn’t be broken (45 hours) and is clear that she is responsible for helping as part of the family, what is wrong with that?
Because we clearly stayed in our profile that we adhere to the rules. It’s a fair thing to be concerned about as an AP but seems a bit presumptuous to state it before I even invited her for an interview
Anonymous
04/26/2019 20:58
Subject: Too feisty at the email stage
Anonymous wrote:We have just started interviewing au pairs (over email), and one seems nice, but I feel like setting up way too many boundaries at this very early stage. For instance, she replied to an email and within it stated that she is happy to help out extra, as long as we don't go over hours and that we give her notice. I never asked her to help out extra--we aren't even there yet! We are a rule following family so I am just put off by this. Any thoughts?
It sounds to me like she’s heard from other APs about their experience. If she understands that there are rules that shouldn’t be broken (45 hours) and is clear that she is responsible for helping as part of the family, what is wrong with that?
Anonymous
04/26/2019 20:11
Subject: Too feisty at the email stage
Np. Where are these rematch groups? I do the searches only with agencies
Anonymous
04/26/2019 20:05
Subject: Re:Too feisty at the email stage
Next...
I search in match/rematch groups to see if an au pair we’re interested in has been advertising heavily. For example, we passed on one that is an extension with a year beginning in May, but they started advertising in late January for a new family. This combined with some offputting questions about how much screen time we allow and whether we provide a credit card for their use is a hard pass.
I search in match/rematch groups to see if an au pair we’re interested in has been advertising heavily. For example, we passed on one that is an extension with a year beginning in May, but they started advertising in late January for a new family. This combined with some offputting questions about how much screen time we allow and whether we provide a credit card for their use is a hard pass.
Anonymous
04/26/2019 20:03
Subject: Too feisty at the email stage
Anonymous wrote:Thank you, next.
+1. There’s a time and sequence for everything
Anonymous
04/26/2019 19:34
Subject: Too feisty at the email stage
Thank you, next.
Anonymous
04/26/2019 18:44
Subject: Too feisty at the email stage
We have just started interviewing au pairs (over email), and one seems nice, but I feel like setting up way too many boundaries at this very early stage. For instance, she replied to an email and within it stated that she is happy to help out extra, as long as we don't go over hours and that we give her notice. I never asked her to help out extra--we aren't even there yet! We are a rule following family so I am just put off by this. Any thoughts?