My nanny has guaranteed hours and always makes up any time she misses. She used to come 5-10 mins late and blame it on traffic so we told her she needs to be on-time and to leave earlier. We are never late getting home so she always leaves on time.

I would be put off by that, but I’m accustomed to guaranteed pay. I’m very rarely late.

Anonymous wrote:MB here. She only works for 90 minutes a day. If she was 30 minutes late she missed a THIRD of her working hours for the day.

She was in the wrong.

NP. I agree with this. I wouldn't have paid her for the 30 minutes, especially if this was an ongoing issue. Our full time nanny is a few minutes late on the regular, but she also stays late regularly, and we just pay her a set amount every week, since it evens out. But she's full time. A 4.5 hour/week job is totally different than a 45 hour a week job.

MB here. She only works for 90 minutes a day. If she was 30 minutes late she missed a THIRD of her working hours for the day.

She was in the wrong.

This is a tough one. I understand where you’re coming from, but it is *super* hard to keep a very PT mother’s helper long run, and replacing her will likely cost a lot more than $10 or whatever dollars that it was.

I would’ve likely just given another warning (especially if she’s don’t better recently with showing up on time), rather than docking her pay.

At first, I was going to advise you to just pay the ten extra dollars if this was a rare occurrence.

But the fact that she seems so wishy washy regarding time in general makes me think that she is not taking her position seriously.

Due to her record, I would have a direct + simple conversation w/her.
Let her know that from here on out, you will only be compensating her for hours actually WORKED.
No exceptions.

Perhaps keep a sign-in sheet available for her to sign 2x/day so there is no confusion.

Good luck....Hope this helps!

Previous nanny here. You should never feel like you have to placate someone unless you did something wrong. She is entitled and disrupted your family’s schedule. I think you should set aside for you all to chat and make a contract that states she is paid for only time worked and time she made herself available, but always paid for previously scheduled hours IF you all up and decide you don’t need her that day or less time etc.


If I only work 10 hours a week for someone and can only do 9 hours I wouldn’t expect the entire pay unless it’s contracted.

Anonymous wrote:If there is no contract and she is essentially just a few hours per week mothers helper or sitter then she should only be paid for the actual time worked. With no contract and her not being a full time employee of yours she has no set aside PTO to pick from.

I am a nanny that works 50 hours per week. Every once in a while i will meet one parent a half hour later than my start time at their office instead of coming to the house. I still get paid my full salary with no PTO withdrawn because it’s their situation changing the time and my contract states I get guaranteed pay regardless. If I however have to come an hour later or 30 min that would be deducted from my PTO.

Op here. You sound like a professional nanny or at least a very experienced nanny, guessing from you discussing the PTO clause in your contract and you have a contract that details all that.
I think we have the same mentality, that if the nanny does something for the employer's convenience like the example you stated, it's paid of course. But otherwise, no.

Did she feel disrespected or something? She has said before that she loves the kids, that we're like family. So is she expecting the family treatment, that family would let something like this go? But then, what does she do extra in return if she wants more of a family relationship and not a business relationship? Once in 1-2 months, I'll ask her to come on a different weekday than usual, and she said yes so far. Is her saying yes to that change what she is doing to treat me as family??
Or is today's issue just that she has not had art time jobs and simply does not know. She tells me that she has never had a paid babysitting job before (or a nanny job). She used to work in eldercare and now works in childcare at a daycare center.

Anyway, I don't know if this will continue to work out. I sometimes feel like I have to tiptoe around her feelings and feel hesitant to say something when she slacks off a little during work hours. But on the other hand, I trust her, the kids like her, and she is an honest, good person at heart. Kids are little so being able to trust the caretaker is huge for me. And the time and effort to try to find a replacement is a lot, something I would rather not do. I know I can get someone to do this job, as I interviewed others who wanted the job before she started, but it still takes so much time and effort.

So what to do to improve the relationship/keep a good relationship?

Use a contract. It will save you this kind of crap.

In general, I would have handled that circumstance the exact same way. She's an hourly, part-time worker - she gets paid for time work, not on salary.

PP here and just wanted to add that I’ve had families that I’ve worked for in the evening a couple hours here or there before for after school pickup etc and if I canceled or pushed back time I was never paid for that time and shouldn’t have been. Maybe you should pay her by the day so she gets it.

If there is no contract and she is essentially just a few hours per week mothers helper or sitter then she should only be paid for the actual time worked. With no contract and her not being a full time employee of yours she has no set aside PTO to pick from.

I am a nanny that works 50 hours per week. Every once in a while i will meet one parent a half hour later than my start time at their office instead of coming to the house. I still get paid my full salary with no PTO withdrawn because it’s their situation changing the time and my contract states I get guaranteed pay regardless. If I however have to come an hour later or 30 min that would be deducted from my PTO.

I get help with my two young kids in the morning, 1.5 hours three days a week. She comes over and helps them get ready for school, and drops them off at daycare and school. So today I get a call saying she overslept and would be half hour late. I said ok.

Today was payday, so I asked her if she would like to do the 30 minutes extra some other time, or whether I should pay her less. Her face changed completely and she told me, "I told you I got a new phone, the alarm did not work, I called you."
So I said, "That is why I am asking you what you'd prefer to do."
She replied "I can't do it this week."
"It can be anytime, like next week."
She then said "I was at the intersection by 7:20am, it took me a long time to make that left turn. So what, it's 20-30 minutes? I can't come any earlier [next week]"
Then she looked defeated or something and said "Okay. Take it out." I was going to propose maybe she could come do it on a day that she usually doesn't come, since she doesn't do this every day.
Anyway, I also told her that I know she's on time every day, and that something like 15 minutes is fine, and reminded her that I was ok with her leaving 15 min earlier for some personal matter just a few days ago (I was not planning to reduce for just 15 min).

Here is my question:
Obviously, her mentality/work ethics is that she thinks that if she just "notifies" me of it, and it's "not intentional," even 30 minutes can be just excused and she should get the full pay. Is this a common mentality in this scenario? Btw, she is an adult who has worked for various employers, including a company, for over 15 years. She is not a young sheltered person just starting out who doesn't understand how the world works.
If this is a common mentality and I was harsh or unfair, what can I do to soother her or keep a good relationship? The $10 itself did not matter to me as much. But I didn't want to go back to a path where she pushes the boundaries again.

In hindsight, maybe I should have let this one go with a warning only, saying I would reduce pay next time.
But this was not the first time, or the second, or the third or even the 10th time. Over the past 6 months, in the past, I have let it go when one month, she was late every single time. 5 min here, 7 minutes there (traffic), 12 minutes, 4 minutes, then it was 15 minutes saying clearing the snow off her car was taking longer than expected. The next month, she was late half the time. I let it go for 2 months and only when she shocked me asking me for a raise that I told her I expected her on time. She then did come on time. To be fair, I know that maybe once a month, she hits unexpected traffic doing the dropoff and she arrives at the daycare 5 min late, she doesn't ask for the 5 min. I know exactly what time she arrived, as she has to write down the time of dropoff in the daycare sign in sheet. Once in a while, she arrives 5 min early, so maybe that makes up for it in her mind.

Now what?