As a host parent, I think it is ridiculous to leave a non driving AP home for 12 weeks with your kids and expect her to plan out a ‘summer of fun’.

If you’re too cheap to pay for camp, then at minimum make a calendar for her that outlines at least one major activity that they should do each day of the week when they are home:

Monday - Pool
Tuesday - Zoo
Wednesday - ...

I take this approach even when my kids are home during the day for just a random teacher in-service day.

Come on parents, we really need to be realistic about the services that we are getting, and why AP’s are here. Yes, they are here to help their host families with their kids, but their ultimate goal is to xyz (experience America, strengthen their English ability, etc,).

As a mom, I think that it is a terrible idea to leave an AP home with multiple young kids all 12 weeks of summer (bad for both the kids and the AP). Heck, I wouldn’t even sign myself up to do that with my kids (give me 6-8 solid weeks with my kids and we’d have a great time, but I would be WIPED out).

Net net, I feel like you have some nerve making it sound like the AP is lacking in skill/ability, because she can’t plan for the 60!! Days that she is staying home with your kids over the summer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can’t come up with a list of ideas for your own kids, why are you expecting the AP to do it?

Op. She has a list, both from LCC and suggestions from me. I’m saying she only does them when I tell her she should because it’s a no school day, for example, rather than her regular few hours after school where having no plan is not a big deal.

I thought everyone else had great APs that loved taking kids to the zoo or museums or whatever... ours seems content to be bored and try to sneak time on her phone during the day.

If that's the case then I would have a reset conversation -- bored/watching her phone is different than uncreative.

I agree with the pp that said a nanny would organize the activities and that the AP needs the host mom to do it.
They can meet halfway and I'm sure the AP can come up with some activities but you can't expect her to fill a whole summer of fun.

Is she allowed to drive your kids places?

You said you expect field trips and playdates but then you also said you don't expect her to drive.......

Yes as a Nanny and au pair before that I planned stuff for the kids to do the weeks they werent in camp. But they also had a pool membership within walking distance so we did that a lot.

Anonymous wrote:If you can’t come up with a list of ideas for your own kids, why are you expecting the AP to do it?

Op. She has a list, both from LCC and suggestions from me. I’m saying she only does them when I tell her she should because it’s a no school day, for example, rather than her regular few hours after school where having no plan is not a big deal.

I thought everyone else had great APs that loved taking kids to the zoo or museums or whatever... ours seems content to be bored and try to sneak time on her phone during the day.

Mine could spend almost every nice day at the pool.
Also, going into dc is always something fun.

Nanny:
1. Will find activities/camps
2. Will sort/donate clothes
3. Will replenish clothes as required
4. Will teach self-care age-appropriately

AP:
1. Will take kids to camp/activities as you schedule
2. Will take clothes to donation center, may pull clothes they shouldn’t (and vice versa)
3. May not pick clothes you’d like
4. May have inappropriate expectations with regard to age

The list goes on. APs are great for some things and some families. But they’re not full charge nannies with the experience to know what needs to be done and when. Nor should you expect them to be. You’ve got several HPs telling you that they would never expect an AP to plan out the whole summer. Pick each week from a list that HP made, absolutely. Come up with outings, crafts and activities for the whole summer with no direction except “find something,” no.

I always try to mix it up in the summer. Camps some weeks, along with weeks off (I personally think some do-nothing days are great and have fond memories of them from my childhood). I continue some structured things (piano lessons and required practicing). I also provide a long list of excursion ideas and help get kids on board with what to do. Buy a sky zone annual pass, etc. I've never had an au pair who is a great planner in this way, and my kids sometimes balk at the outings (I have a tween). With balance, we get through it with some great days and a few bad ones.

If you can’t come up with a list of ideas for your own kids, why are you expecting the AP to do it?

Anonymous wrote:Does your AP actually make plans for the kids for summer with no school? Or do they just do whatever?

I'm concerned that ours has no capacity for planning. She'll let the kids play inside and then take them outside. No field trips, no play dates, no crafts, etc. Just the same old routine for 12 weeks. A long, bad summer for both AP and kids.

I also don't want to do all the work for her and she only does things after we give her the suggestion (literally pointing at boxed baking mixes or handing her craft kits). We keep a stocked kitchen so baking is possible at any time and a craft corner with random crafty stuff (colored paper, feathers, beads, etc.) so it's not like we lack the opportunity to be creative. We've had prior APs that loved Pinterest and would try stuff out with the kids.

I don't think that it your AP's job to plan your kids' summer. While some APs were better than others, we gave everyone suggestions about what to do each week and also helped identify additional resources. In addition, we put kids in camps for at least 4 weeks.

Anonymous wrote:She probably hasnt heard of half the stuff to do in this area. I like idea of the kids suggesting ideas but they might be too young? I would tell her the kids enjoy being out and about and you expect them do do stuff 2 or 3 times a week. Make sure she is comfortable getting there and has petty cash beforehand if need be.

LCC provided her many suggestions and resources. Kids are too young to name more than what they did yesterday again and are fairly agreeable to almost everything.

She also is a beginner driver and we don’t expect her to take them anywhere. We have lots to do within walking distance or I’m looking for some creativity in coming up with an occasional craft. Something other than the blank look and then suggesting watching a movie with the kids. AP also knows she’s not supposed to do screen time, so this is what set off the warning bells that maybe she doesn’t have the capacity to plan anything...

She probably hasnt heard of half the stuff to do in this area. I like idea of the kids suggesting ideas but they might be too young? I would tell her the kids enjoy being out and about and you expect them do do stuff 2 or 3 times a week. Make sure she is comfortable getting there and has petty cash beforehand if need be.

Ours is very good about planning activities and playdates, and we also do camps for at least 5 hours a day. But if you've been given lemons, make lemonade. Have the kids come up with a summer wish list of 30/40/50 items and tell her they have to cross off x number a day. Or tell her they need to go outside every day between 9 and 10 before it gets too hot. You need to give her a rough schedule and let her pencil in the details. I'd be nice if she did it on her own but if she won't, you'll need to step in to give your kids the kind of summer you want them to have.

How old are your kids?

Even with an ap ours do day camps and sports camps for 4 weeks or so during summer. We planned them out months ago so depending on where you live it may be tough to get in the good ones with friends.

Does your AP actually make plans for the kids for summer with no school? Or do they just do whatever?

I'm concerned that ours has no capacity for planning. She'll let the kids play inside and then take them outside. No field trips, no play dates, no crafts, etc. Just the same old routine for 12 weeks. A long, bad summer for both AP and kids.

I also don't want to do all the work for her and she only does things after we give her the suggestion (literally pointing at boxed baking mixes or handing her craft kits). We keep a stocked kitchen so baking is possible at any time and a craft corner with random crafty stuff (colored paper, feathers, beads, etc.) so it's not like we lack the opportunity to be creative. We've had prior APs that loved Pinterest and would try stuff out with the kids.