I would just pretend he is not there and not worry about the noise. I would hate this set up and would look for a new job, but assuming you want to stay, take him at his word and go about your business as if he was not there and let your charge visit with him as much as she wants.

OP here - we go to a youth center most mornings to play, but I bring her home for a nap and they're closed by the time she wakes up. It's the afternoon (3-6:30) that is the most problematic since it's too cold to go outside and play.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - we've talked about it a few times but he always just says the same thing - she can pop in when she wants and play. He won't work from another room in the house and the living room where he works despite being upstairs (they live in a brownstone) is pretty open so she sees him when she eats lunch or snack and has a meltdown when he won't play with her. It's hard to keep a charge entertained who just cries "want daddy" all day.

Then quit. You have no other option and the situation will only get worse. Sorry, OP.

That’s so ridiculous. He’s being completely ignorant. It’s putting you in an awkward and difficult position, op. I would begin looking for another position, meanwhile getting out of the house as much as possible.

Are there any nearby indoor places you can take her when the weather just won’t permit extended outdoor play?

OP here - we've talked about it a few times but he always just says the same thing - she can pop in when she wants and play. He won't work from another room in the house and the living room where he works despite being upstairs (they live in a brownstone) is pretty open so she sees him when she eats lunch or snack and has a meltdown when he won't play with her. It's hard to keep a charge entertained who just cries "want daddy" all day.

I work in a very similar situation OP.

The DB works upstairs in his bedroom yet 2YR old DC knows he is there & has accepted it.
Except he sometimes will pop in from time to time unexpectedly and DC gets upset when he leaves.

These are not easy jobs.
Plus I always feel that I need to make our noise level quiet so DB can get his work completed.

One day he had a colleague over and they were in the living room.
My charge kept talking to him & my boss asked me to keep him “more” occupied...!!
I firmly told him that I was doing my best, but that it was completely normal + expected that a child of that age would want to see his parent in such close corridors.
I also spoke to the Mom.

Anyway, he stays in his room now and if he has to meet a colleague, they will meet at a coffee shop.

Any boss who wouldn’t make a change about this is very inconsiderate in my opinion.

I would bring it up to both of your employers together and find a solution (like the child not allowed in the living room or the father work only in his bedroom). You situation will not improve on it’s own.

Honestly? I’d quit. This will only get worse. Believe me.

My nanny family is wonderful, but DB works entirely from home. While it certainly isn't ideal for a nanny, it's made worse by the fact that his office is the living room and he's ok with my charge playing nearby as he works. The problem with that is that she's recently reached an age where she's very aware of his presence in the other room and throws tantrums when we don't spend all our time there. I know DB has explicitly said that it's okay as long as she isn't bothering him, but it's hard to determine what is "bothersome" when working with a 2 year old as background noise and, frankly, it's just difficult to play with a toddler in the presence of an adult. We already spend as much time out of the house as the cold weather will allow... what would you do in the situation?