OP Here:
Thank you to everyone who responded.
And no, I never posted about a Christmas issue.

My MomBoss does not allow me to drive my charge, so the park I take her to is unfortunately the only one in walking distance.

While I can see my MB’s perspective -
I also think it would be wholly unfair to keep my charge from playing w/Rosalie’s charges.
Yes, I can always encourage her to play w/other children at the park.....
But it would be too much work to prevent her from interacting w/them.
Plus she wouldn’t understand anyway.

At 6 1/2 years, my boss should have more trust in me.
No, I am never asked to watch Rosalie’s charges nor do we socialize w/out watching our charges.
I always give 100%.
I sometimes speak to other Nannies + parents at the park,
I only soprano to Rosalie more since I see her there everyday & she is always there at the same time as we are.

No, my boss has usually been cool.
But like another previous poster mentioned, this just got under her skin for some reason.

If your MB thinks you are putting socializing during work ahead of taking care with your charge, she could ask you not to take the child to the park at all. Socializing while working isn't a right. If you happen to run into people you can chat with or whatever, that's nice, but it's not what she is paying you for. After hours, it is 100% your business, but I suspect you and Rosalie don't get together then.

Anonymous wrote:I think you are the same "nanny" who posted around Christmas about your MB being angry but wouldn't tell you why she was upset until you came back to work five days later
Same style of writing and similar idiotic scenario?

I disagree. Paragraph use is different and previous OP didn’t have that immature way of decorating her post with emoticons.

Say this in the friendliest possible way:

"Hey Rosalie, I really like you but I can't watch your three charges in addition to mine. Put your da## phone away!"

Then continue to bug her in a friendly way for her millennial phone ways until she gets the point.

Tell MB that you agree about Rosalie's phone use and that you watch your charge just as you would whether Rosalie is there or not. You are not watching Rosalie's charges - they are just kids at the park like any others. (Which I hope is true from your perspective.)

Anonymous wrote:I don't think she suspects you are going to be like Rosalie and be on your phone the whole time. She sees Rosalie as irresponsible for her 3 charges and you probably having to supervise them since they are playing with your charge. So now instead of watching just her daughter (who is still young and needs supervision) you're watching 3 other kids due to their inattentive nanny.

This is a good point. OP?

Can you go to another park ?

Anonymous wrote:I don't think she suspects you are going to be like Rosalie and be on your phone the whole time. She sees Rosalie as irresponsible for her 3 charges and you probably having to supervise them since they are playing with your charge. So now instead of watching just her daughter (who is still young and needs supervision) you're watching 3 other kids due to their inattentive nanny.

I agree with this. I think your boss is being too controlling, but she does have the right to put limits on things during paid hours.

I would have responded that you totally agree w/ your boss that Rosalie is not great at watching the kids and you don't approve either. I would assure her that Rosalie is just someone you see at the park when you're there with the kids - not someone whose company she seeks out, and that you would never, ever let the kids get lost in the shuffle - they are always your top priority no matter who you're with or where you are.

Micromanaging at it’s finest.

In a public area, you have every right to speak w/your friend.

You are not 9.

I think you are the same "nanny" who posted around Christmas about your MB being angry but wouldn't tell you why she was upset until you came back to work five days later
Same style of writing and similar idiotic scenario?

Your MB is too controlling and neurotic (I would start looking for another postion personally). No, your MB does not have the right to tell you who you can and cannot socialize with. Just like her own boss cannot tell her who she can and cannot socialize with. I wouldn’t bring up Rosalie to your MB anymore or any other nanny friends you may have (I also wouldn’t speak to your MB anymore unless it directly relates to her daughter in terms of issues/concerns). Just nod and smile and go about your day.

I don't think she suspects you are going to be like Rosalie and be on your phone the whole time. She sees Rosalie as irresponsible for her 3 charges and you probably having to supervise them since they are playing with your charge. So now instead of watching just her daughter (who is still young and needs supervision) you're watching 3 other kids due to their inattentive nanny.

I think its ok for you to see Rosalie but i think its also ok for you rMb to want her kid to have a larger circle of friends. So maybe do both. See Rosalie at the park but talk to other people and try to set up playdates etc with other people with kids the same age as your charge.

She can fire you for whatever she wants, which means that she can make whatever rules that she wants. You can also quit at any time you want. You need to decide whether this friendship is worth disrupting a job situation that sounds like it’s working for you. Would you still be friends with Rosalie if you could only hang out outside of work? Is your MB overly controlling and judgmental about a lot of things? Or is this something that is just really getting under her skin for some reason? If she is not otherwise controlling and you are overall happy in the relationship with your employers, I would probably cut back on time with this person in order to avoid rocking the boat. If your employers are overall controlling and judgmental and think the worst of you and of others, then I wouldn’t want to work for them regardless and would start looking at other options.

* HER daughter

I am currently a Nanny to an adorable + bright 2 1/2 yr old little girl.
Before her, I was her seven yr old big brother’s Nanny so I have been with them about 6 1/2 yrs total.

I take my charge to the neighborhood park every day so it is only natural that I will meet other Nannies there as well as Parents & Grandparents.

Well I have a friend named “Rosalie.”
She cares for three young kids under three.
I have known her for about two yrs thus far.

I am an older Nanny (mid-40’s) while Rosalie is in her late-20’s.
I also acknowledge that Rosalie may be a less attentive Nanny than I am.
She spends A LOT of time on her phone.
I for the record do not.

She is the main Nanny that I socialize with at the park plus our charges get along great.
I do not think she is as good a Nanny as me - I attribute the heavy phone use due to her age/immaturity.
She is NEVER left alone with my charge.
Ever.

I am a very empathetic person and I do not judge.
While I think she spends too much time on her phone -
I also acknowledge that is her business.

My Mom Boss saw her at the park one day last week when I was off and she came over and introduced herself + the kids.
Afterward, my MB noticed she was on her phone a lot and when she saw me this week, she told me we needed to talk and I immediately tried to think of anything I may have done wrong.
I couldn’t think of a thing.

She told me she met Rosalie at the park, then asked me her age.
When I told her she asked me, “What could a ______ (my age) have in common with a _____ (her age.)?”
I told her that I have friends of ALL ages which is true.
Then she told me that day at the park, she noticed that Rosalie was distracted by her phone a tad.
I responded that I agreed.
That I had told Rosalie when we initially met that she seemed too distracted and that was that.

I wasn’t going to keep reminding her because that is entirely on HER.
Since she doesn’t watch my charge or is ever alone with her, I really just MYOB.
She then asked me if I could possibly find other Nanny friends.
Closer to my age, with less kids in her care.
Preferably no more than two.
She doesn’t think it is wise for my daughter to be around “all those kids,” because she doesn’t want her “lost in the shuffle.”


She didn’t directly forbid me to communicate with Rosalie during my shift -
But it is perfectly clear that is what she wants me to do.

It will be awkward to randomly tell her I cannot speak to her while on duty while also telling my charge not to play with her charges.

She seems to think (after 6.5 yrs!!) that if I choose to be friends w/Rosalie than I am likely just like her.
But that is not true.
I have friends who do things that I do not agree with, but I am the least judgmental friend.

That is what sometimes sets me apart from others.
I can get along with anyone as long as I believe That fundamentally they are decent people.
I know I have my own, personal shortcomings myself.

This is already too long, sorry.

My question is:
Does my MB have the right to tell me that I can no longer socialize with another person while on duty.
We only talk at the park btw.

Or as my boss, is she well within her rights?