I lived abroad and found engaging in a foreign language all day extremely exhausting at first. Good luck.

Is your LCC helpful?

Ours knows the warning signs for ones who might be trouble and will let us know if it's normal vs she's really concerned about AP.

OP here, thank you for the encouragement! It's really helpful to hear another perspective. I will give her more time to adjust and do what I can to support her. And let's hope it turns out OK. Thank you

Anonymous wrote:1 minute,she says she is fine and totally confident and the next she is talking homesickness and being overwhelmed and exhausted

Give her time.
Yes, it could be a red flag. But not necessarily. She has just arrived - new country, new language, new family, children she doesn't know yet, rules she isn't yet familiar with, no real friends yet, a schedule she has never worked before. Depending on where she is from she is probably still jet lagged (and most likely she didn't get a lot of sleep during the workshop). Being homesick is totally normal. The first few weeks are exhausting for most APs. Being overwhelmed? It is a lot to take in! Some can hit the ground running, some need time and some burn out.

It sounds as if your AP needs support right now. Not pressure. Not "Well, AP 1 only lasted a month. I don't think you have it in you with how you are acting on day 1."

Give her a week. Let her do her thing the weekend to come (doesn't matter if she wants to sleep all day or meet up with other APs to make new friends). Schedule a meeting for Sunday night (or Monday morning) to go over the next week, readjust her expectations, redirect where you noticed she is not yet up to speed. And then give her a second week. And see how she shapes up. The adjustment period is different with every AP.

Anonymous wrote:Op here, the biggest red flags are complaining about being tired after spending 2 hours with the kids with me there to do all the "work" as part of the training process.I can toss this up to being tired from the transition and taking in all this new info. But the biggest is already talking with other au pairs and then telling me about giving up or getting burnt out and going home. 1 minute,she says she is fine and totally confident and the next she is talking homesickness and being overwhelmed and exhausted


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Hmmm... I am with you, OP. Seems like a red flag. I would probably give it a week or so, to see how things shape up. It’s a different dynamic when you are around. Hopefully, she’ll get energized. Good luck, OP!

Op again, this behavior reminds me do much of our first au pair who went home after 2 months.

I had to give her most if the day to get a,break from her. I'm hoping the,break will help her because she will have a full day tomorrow. But can't believe i'm doing this type of thing already. Not good.

Op here, the biggest red flags are complaining about being tired after spending 2 hours with the kids with me there to do all the "work" as part of the training process.I can toss this up to being tired from the transition and taking in all this new info. But the biggest is already talking with other au pairs and then telling me about giving up or getting burnt out and going home. 1 minute,she says she is fine and totally confident and the next she is talking homesickness and being overwhelmed and exhausted


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I had an AP with a very rocky start that ended up being a rockstar. Just give honest, direct feedback and see if the problems resolve. Personally, at 3 months, if the problems persist I would pull the plug.

Depends on the red flags. If she totaled your car or gave your kids with peanut allergy peanut butter, yeah, it's probably a red flag and you should rematch right away. However, if she was late to drop-off/pick-up, because she got lost, I would just have a conversation about leaving with plenty of time to spare.

First couple of weeks are good for clarifying job expectations and providing feedback, assuming the red flags you mentioned are not safety issues.

You need to elaborate if you want better advice.

She could be jet lagged or homesick. Need more info about what these potential red flags might be to provide a reality check or not.

We're on au pair #3. All but one had a transition period. First one was a roller coaster and lasted 2 months. 2nd was smooth sailing, barely had to train her. 3rd was a very bumpy start, but lasted 2 years.

Enters our new au pair. Seemed great during matching - energetic, good with kids, independent, up for an adventure, used to working long hard hours at another job. On day 1 of actual working, a number of things that have happened and been said that could be red flags. But, we are on day 1. How much should I focus on those?

This process of getting au pairs up and running has been so exhausting (and taxing at times). I don't know if I'm up for another roller coaster. Trying not to get discouraged just yet.