I’d talk to her sooner than later. She may be very happy to end her au pair year 3 months early, especially since it will be summer and she can probably get a summer job at home before going back to school. I would offer to pay her a portion of the remaining weekly stipend and her plane ticket home, since the agency won’t pay for au pairs leaving early. If you have a good relationship with her and she’s already making plans for after her year she may agree to this. You could also offer to help her find a summer rematch family - I know a lot of families who would love a summer au pair and they’re not easy to find since the program is a minimum of a year.

Anonymous wrote:This will probably get some hate, but I think you owe it to your AP to tell her as soon as you know what your plans are. You agreed to host her for a full year and are now breaking your end of the deal. If she wants to find a new host family now so that she has a longer time to be with them, she should be able to do so.

+1
Both of you agreed on a 1-year contract, which you are breaking and are at the same time worrying your AP might break if she learns you need her out early. Where is the difference? It's not her who wants to initiate rematch but you, on your conditions.

She has much better chances to find a rematch family now, with 7 months left, than she might have in June with only 3 months (or less, if you are now at the 5 month mark I assume she arrived in early August? That would leave her with just (over) 2 months at the beginning on June) left if she doesn't want to extend. I doubt your AP will find a summer gig for June and July only.
You also have better chances to find a new AP to stay with you until your departure now than in March or April (you might even find an AP interested in a 6 months extention now rather than having to opt for a rematch AP for a few months in March or April).

Tell her now or at least as soon as your plans are finalized. And get your LCC on board as early as possible so that she can support your AP in rematch.
You wouldn't want to be blindsided by your AP announcing rematch at the last minute, neither does your AP.

You could tell her now and offer to pay her for all the remaining weeks in the year if she agrees to stay with you until you leave.

Anonymous wrote:Mine did.

She initiated it with my counselor's support and without me knowing while I was on a business trip.

When I returned she blindsided me and the counselor would not let me even have a conversation about it. Just told me it's not going to change.

HORRIBLE

You could blindside her too... how is it different? She was either unhappy or like OP not sticking to the agreement and she had to protect herself.

Anonymous wrote:This will probably get some hate, but I think you owe it to your AP to tell her as soon as you know what your plans are. You agreed to host her for a full year and are now breaking your end of the deal. If she wants to find a new host family now so that she has a longer time to be with them, she should be able to do so.

+1 We had an AP leave 3 months earlier and I much appreciated her telling us as soon as she knew. Your AP deserves to know so that she can make arrangements.

This will probably get some hate, but I think you owe it to your AP to tell her as soon as you know what your plans are. You agreed to host her for a full year and are now breaking your end of the deal. If she wants to find a new host family now so that she has a longer time to be with them, she should be able to do so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine did.

She initiated it with my counselor's support and without me knowing while I was on a business trip.

When I returned she blindsided me and the counselor would not let me even have a conversation about it. Just told me it's not going to change.

HORRIBLE

OP here. What agency or is could this occur with any agency? We're CCAP. Thanks

It was with APIA
Fairfax County VA

While it can happen with any agency, au pair or family, it's really rude and unprofessional for the counselor to condone, and au pair to do. I was not even GIVEN a chance to discuss.

Anonymous wrote:Only tell her when your plans are finalized. Are you hoping she will come with you for the summer, or are you hoping to end your year with her in June, and not any earlier than that?
If your AP is from a Northern European country, she might want to travel in July, and return by August so she could start university.

No, she won't be joining us for the summer. It doesn't make sense based on our travel plans over the summer. As it currently plans, match would end during the first week of June - no earlier.

Only tell her when your plans are finalized. Are you hoping she will come with you for the summer, or are you hoping to end your year with her in June, and not any earlier than that?
If your AP is from a Northern European country, she might want to travel in July, and return by August so she could start university.

It can occur with any agency. You cannot force an AP to stay in a home; that is kidnapping and a crime.

No agency can stop an AP from walking out....we are with CCAP and were with APIA and have heard of APs not coming home from vacation or just packing up and leaving one day with no warning or discussion....it happens.

Not the end of the world.

Anonymous wrote:Mine did.

She initiated it with my counselor's support and without me knowing while I was on a business trip.

When I returned she blindsided me and the counselor would not let me even have a conversation about it. Just told me it's not going to change.

HORRIBLE

OP here. What agency or is could this occur with any agency? We're CCAP. Thanks

Mine did.

She initiated it with my counselor's support and without me knowing while I was on a business trip.

When I returned she blindsided me and the counselor would not let me even have a conversation about it. Just told me it's not going to change.

HORRIBLE

Ap can rematch at will. Needs no approval from HF.

The sooner you tell her the better - a summer gig for another family is in high demand. She will find a family easily, and maybe a local family too.
Lots of people need summer care.

way too early to tell her. wait a few months.
then, she will either go with you or choose to go home early.
if you tell her now, she may preemptively ask for rematch now.
APs (or host families) can ask for rematch for any reason, sensible or not

Our family will likely be leaving DC in June for a year-long service trip - around the 9 month mark of our current match We have a good relationship and have decided to tell her in the next week or so what our plans will be (they're still not entirely finalized though).

Since we're only at the 5 month mark of our match, could our AP request a rematch now or does it need to be a mutual decision? And, is this a risk I should be concerned about? I don't want to find ourselves scrambling for child care 3 months before we depart. AP has indicated she's looking to return to her home country at the end of the match to start school (late-August). Agency is CCAP.