I agree with many above, pay her a bonus and don’t pay the days off. If you’re feeling generous maybe pay the surgery days since maybe that was unexpected

How is the other family handling the extra time off?

I agree with the other posters, no pay for the extra days and a generalist bonus if you’ve been happy with her.

Don't overthink it. Vacation over the time she has available = unpaid. Bonus = whatever you would give independent of the vacation situation. One week's pay is pretty standard.

If you were planning to continue with her longer term, I'd be flexible on the sick time for the surgery and let her take it in deficit. But that obviously won't work here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give her the bonus, and unpaid days.

+1 the unpaid extra days have nothing to do with a bonus , not understanding why you are trying to lump them together. she got extra paid days last year because you didn’t need her ( guaranteed hours) , clearly different situation this year based on what you describe.

+2 give a week’s bonus and part ways amicably.

I also recommend paying her the regular weeks bonus and not paying the extra time off. If you are feeling generous, you might say, Nanny X, we've decided to pay you for half of the sick days you were over b/c we realize that surgery was unexpected (or whatever the reason was). That way you are in fact being generous w/ extra needed sick days, but not being a pushover. So basically you both absorb the cost of extra days.

Gosh you are being petty!

Anonymous wrote:We're almost hitting 2 years with our nanny and this will probably the the last bonus season and we may be done before we technically hit another raise at the 2 year mark in March. (moving in a month or so, but date TBD)

Last year I gave her what I felt to be a pretty generous bonus which included a weeks pay plus extra days off that I didn't need her since we were on vacation (and she gets XMas Eve and Day; New Years Eve/Day per contract). I can't remember exactly how many days off I added.

This year, she's already over her limit by 1 day for vacation/sick days used and she plans to take 4 additional days around the holidays (so 5 total extra days for the year= 1 week). This year we're not doing a vacation, so I actually will be working part of the Christmas "week" so would need her the days she intends to be gone and will have to find back up.

We've discussed this with her and she's says she understands and will take them unpaid. I should add that 2 of the extra days were for a surgery, not just "fun"- but also, you have certain days, you need to use/plan for unforeseen? My job doesn't just give me extra days willy nilly.

So, with that context, options to balance bonus and her extra time off seem to be:

(1) Full weeks bonus PLUS these 5 days extra paid because screw it, just be generous, we like her and it's our last bonus for her/maybe she should get more for year 2 anyway
(2) Less bonus (maybe $200 cash?) and still pay her the 5 days she wants off --> balance generosity without going overboard since she did use up all her days by choice
(3) Don't pay her the extra 5 days off via payroll company, but give her bonus week off in cash --> maybe has some tax benefit for her? Essentially what "technically" should happen
(4) Just pay her the 5 days off in regular paycheck and give no bonus since equates to be the same technically, but this seems less "Christmasy"

Ugh. I hate this. Last year when faced with this we went the generous route and that's where I'm leaning towards again, except it really equates to 2 weeks pay and I have a hassle of finding 3 days of care (likely free though through employer benefits or family help).

ADVICE PLEASE!

The only problem with the part in bold is that many nannies don't get their vacation days paid out -- it's use them or lose them. So while I save up several vacation days for a trip around Christmas, I wouldn't hold onto all of my vacation days for the year on the off chance I suddenly need surgery in November.
Also, per your post, you will likely get backup care for free.

I don't think it's fair to be annoyed that she had to take vacation days to care for her sick kids -- you made the choice to hire a nanny with kids, so part of the "blame" should be on you. Similarly, I don't think it's fair to hold it against her for using her vacation/sick days. The mentality in this area that you should never take time off from work is awful. We all need days to decompress.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give her the bonus, and don't pay her for the days you aren't contracted to pay her for. That's what she's expecting.

Or, offer to let her go negative for PTO for next year so she doesn't lose money in her paycheck. Or does it not reset until March? We always accrued, and I would do this for a longtime nanny who was getting surgery.

OP here, so for even more detail (felt like I was already being too long-winded), we added a share family in January this year so we sort of reset her vacation days then per the new contract (15 total). FWIW, she had already used up her the 2017 days, even though it hadn't even been a year yet (March-December). So again, I feel like we've leaned towards being understanding/generous with these issues and she's not one of these nannies that never takes a day off. Also, she'll be staying with the other family, so not completely out of a job.
So while negative PTO is a good idea, but since we're not really going to make it another year, that basically just means she gets the extra days sort of, and it would be on the other family to account for those if she (inevitably given her track record) needs more.

She's a great nanny and we love her, but she does sometimes leave us in a lurch, as she has school-aged children who've gotten sick, had other school issues, she's gotten sick, and she's also taken pre-planned actual family vacation time too. So again, she's not a "never takes a day off" nanny.

Then she takes the days unpaid, and gets her regular bonus.

The proper response to a nanny who isn't reliable enough for you is to part ways, not to seethe silently every time she takes a day off. Some families are able to cover extra days off, others aren't. I am able to, so we gave our nanny more PTO in lieu of a raise one year: win/win. I have had a nanny who had far too many sick days, however, and it wasn't sustainable. But at the point you decided to live with it and not move on to someone else, you needed to come to a place of not minding.

The unpaid days off, to me, are how you make this ok: you're not out extra time or money, and she gets the time she needs. I'm sure she scheduled it at Xmas, despite her own children being home, because she figured the bonus would help cover it. If you are still feeling badly about it come March, give her a hefty "good-bye" bonus.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give her the bonus, and don't pay her for the days you aren't contracted to pay her for. That's what she's expecting.

Or, offer to let her go negative for PTO for next year so she doesn't lose money in her paycheck. Or does it not reset until March? We always accrued, and I would do this for a longtime nanny who was getting surgery.

OP here, so for even more detail (felt like I was already being too long-winded), we added a share family in January this year so we sort of reset her vacation days then per the new contract (15 total). FWIW, she had already used up her the 2017 days, even though it hadn't even been a year yet (March-December). So again, I feel like we've leaned towards being understanding/generous with these issues and she's not one of these nannies that never takes a day off. Also, she'll be staying with the other family, so not completely out of a job.
So while negative PTO is a good idea, but since we're not really going to make it another year, that basically just means she gets the extra days sort of, and it would be on the other family to account for those if she (inevitably given her track record) needs more.

She's a great nanny and we love her, but she does sometimes leave us in a lurch, as she has school-aged children who've gotten sick, had other school issues, she's gotten sick, and she's also taken pre-planned actual family vacation time too. So again, she's not a "never takes a day off" nanny.

OMG, your nanny isn't a robot! You should make her pay you for the privilege of just being in your majestic presence! She has every right to take her PTO. You are disgustingly cheap!

You make at least three times what your nanny makes! She takes care of the most valuable property you have--YOUR CHILDREN-- stop being so cheap. She, as has been pointed out earlier, has said she will take the days off without pay so give her the usual bonus. Cheap People like you should stay home and take care of your own kids.

Anonymous wrote:Give her the bonus, and unpaid days.

+1 the unpaid extra days have nothing to do with a bonus , not understanding why you are trying to lump them together. she got extra paid days last year because you didn’t need her ( guaranteed hours) , clearly different situation this year based on what you describe.

Give her the bonus, and unpaid days.

Anonymous wrote:Give her the bonus, and don't pay her for the days you aren't contracted to pay her for. That's what she's expecting.

Or, offer to let her go negative for PTO for next year so she doesn't lose money in her paycheck. Or does it not reset until March? We always accrued, and I would do this for a longtime nanny who was getting surgery.

OP here, so for even more detail (felt like I was already being too long-winded), we added a share family in January this year so we sort of reset her vacation days then per the new contract (15 total). FWIW, she had already used up her the 2017 days, even though it hadn't even been a year yet (March-December). So again, I feel like we've leaned towards being understanding/generous with these issues and she's not one of these nannies that never takes a day off. Also, she'll be staying with the other family, so not completely out of a job.
So while negative PTO is a good idea, but since we're not really going to make it another year, that basically just means she gets the extra days sort of, and it would be on the other family to account for those if she (inevitably given her track record) needs more.

She's a great nanny and we love her, but she does sometimes leave us in a lurch, as she has school-aged children who've gotten sick, had other school issues, she's gotten sick, and she's also taken pre-planned actual family vacation time too. So again, she's not a "never takes a day off" nanny.

Give her the bonus, and don't pay her for the days you aren't contracted to pay her for. That's what she's expecting.

Or, offer to let her go negative for PTO for next year so she doesn't lose money in her paycheck. Or does it not reset until March? We always accrued, and I would do this for a longtime nanny who was getting surgery.

We're almost hitting 2 years with our nanny and this will probably the the last bonus season and we may be done before we technically hit another raise at the 2 year mark in March. (moving in a month or so, but date TBD)

Last year I gave her what I felt to be a pretty generous bonus which included a weeks pay plus extra days off that I didn't need her since we were on vacation (and she gets XMas Eve and Day; New Years Eve/Day per contract). I can't remember exactly how many days off I added.

This year, she's already over her limit by 1 day for vacation/sick days used and she plans to take 4 additional days around the holidays (so 5 total extra days for the year= 1 week). This year we're not doing a vacation, so I actually will be working part of the Christmas "week" so would need her the days she intends to be gone and will have to find back up.

We've discussed this with her and she's says she understands and will take them unpaid. I should add that 2 of the extra days were for a surgery, not just "fun"- but also, you have certain days, you need to use/plan for unforeseen? My job doesn't just give me extra days willy nilly.

So, with that context, options to balance bonus and her extra time off seem to be:

(1) Full weeks bonus PLUS these 5 days extra paid because screw it, just be generous, we like her and it's our last bonus for her/maybe she should get more for year 2 anyway
(2) Less bonus (maybe $200 cash?) and still pay her the 5 days she wants off --> balance generosity without going overboard since she did use up all her days by choice
(3) Don't pay her the extra 5 days off via payroll company, but give her bonus week off in cash --> maybe has some tax benefit for her? Essentially what "technically" should happen
(4) Just pay her the 5 days off in regular paycheck and give no bonus since equates to be the same technically, but this seems less "Christmasy"

Ugh. I hate this. Last year when faced with this we went the generous route and that's where I'm leaning towards again, except it really equates to 2 weeks pay and I have a hassle of finding 3 days of care (likely free though through employer benefits or family help).

ADVICE PLEASE!