I have 3 charges currently who may ft individually, 3 in the previous family who ft together, 2 in 3 previous families (and each set fts together), and one set of 7 who are no longer living together, so the 5 together sometimes do, the two older girls rarely ft (one is now an adult, the other is 17). In all, 19 current and former charges may wish to speak to me at least once per weekend.

I value communication with my all my charges, current and former. The ones who are old enough for their own phones/computers don’t have to use a parent before fting me, but they did have to learn the etiquette of texting to ask first. The ones who are younger have to ask to use a device, so the parent asks me. If I can’t do it immediately, we set up a mutually convenient time later that day. It’s important to me to connect with them, that they know I value them and that I’m honestly interested in whatever they say. The teens are more likely to call if they’re having family, relationship or schoolwork issues, while my elementary age kids are more likely to call when they’re either missing me or wanting to tell me about an A or a hit/kick in a game or similar. It doesn’t matter to me how long it takes, because they will only talk until they’re done telling me what they want me to know, then they’ll hang up.

Absolutely never. Unless I'm changing the schedule for Monday morning, I never bother our nanny during their off time.

Ultimately it is about setting boundaries between employer and employee, even though it is much closer working relationship than other professions. It’s fine to call every now and then but every day she has a free day, I don’t think is ok. And while many of us don’t mind the occasional weekend call or text ( we do love your kids after all ), you got to think of it from her point of you and that it can get invasive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. My former charge, now five, FaceTimes me every single night on my commute home. It’s fine with me and still so important to him to make the connection even though he can’t see my face. My current employer does text me with cute things the baby does on weekends and it’s sweet.

Trust your nanny to tell you the truth or simply not pick up. If she says it’s okay with her then it is okay with her.

Are you DRIVING while FaceTiming???

Yep! As I said, he can’t see my face. I have my phone in the cup holder. It’s just like a regular call.

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. My former charge, now five, FaceTimes me every single night on my commute home. It’s fine with me and still so important to him to make the connection even though he can’t see my face. My current employer does text me with cute things the baby does on weekends and it’s sweet.

Trust your nanny to tell you the truth or simply not pick up. If she says it’s okay with her then it is okay with her.

Are you DRIVING while FaceTiming???

Anonymous wrote: Think of it this way MBs, how would you feel if your boss FaceTimed or video conferenced you every single day that you were off? Even if it was to say something nice, that could get intrusive really fast.

A quick text to say something funny or sharing amusing tidbit is not a big deal but the face timing is a bit much.

I am an older nanny and have had several other career jobs before becoming a nanny. Without question, I can attest that I have never had a boss as adorable as my charge and have never missed my boss on a Sunday night the way I do my charge.

If my charge needs to ft me on weekends, she is welcome to. Sometimes she needs to and other weekends go by without a call. Honestly I don’t mind at all.

Think of it this way MBs, how would you feel if your boss FaceTimed or video conferenced you every single day that you were off? Even if it was to say something nice, that could get intrusive really fast.

A quick text to say something funny or sharing amusing tidbit is not a big deal but the face timing is a bit much.

Anonymous wrote:I agree that FT is the more intrusive thing. A text she can easily ignore if it is inconvenient. Try to keep it to once a day. I also want to add that connecting so much with nanny on the weekend is probably counterproductive for your kid. The more she thinks about nanny, the more she misses nanny. If you just breezily say, “Oh we can’t FT now because nanny is probably eating her lunch. Do you want to play blocks or dolls next?” DD will be better able to stay in the moment.

I let my kids ft nanny just once a day. I make sure it is short and everyone is happy. I rarely if ever text her for a work question but will occasionally text if the kids do or say something sweet about her.

I agree that FT is the more intrusive thing. A text she can easily ignore if it is inconvenient. Try to keep it to once a day. I also want to add that connecting so much with nanny on the weekend is probably counterproductive for your kid. The more she thinks about nanny, the more she misses nanny. If you just breezily say, “Oh we can’t FT now because nanny is probably eating her lunch. Do you want to play blocks or dolls next?” DD will be better able to stay in the moment.

Anonymous wrote:We have a fantastic nanny who has been with our now 3 yr old DD since she was born. When I ask our nanny if DD can face time her on weekends, nanny always says of course. When I text her with something DD said that was funny, she always responds in kind. She always asks me to text when she leaves on Fridays (she doesn’t work on Mondays so ever weekend is three days away).

The older DD gets, the more she wants to touch base with her nanny on weekends. I keep it very short. But wonder if nanny is just too kind to tell me that it bugs her.

Keep it short- less than 2 minutes and maybe once a weekend. It's nice to keep the connection but too much and it can get annoying and intrusive.

Also, employers, of course your employees will always say no problem and respond in kind, they want to keep you happy and keep their jobs. Just don't abuse it.

I enjoy hearing from my NK during the weekend. It means they think about me, which is heartwarming.

I don’t see an issue. Maybe have a conversation with your nanny stating you appreciate how she responds during her off-hours but that it’s her time and if she prefer to keep interactions to a minimal that you completely understand.

I like hearing a little from my employers and charge when I am off. If it is important for my charge to see me via face time on weekends I am happy to do it. Luckily my employers are respectful and keep the ft session to once a day and very short.

I have a nanny friend whose employers basically use her tooccupy her charge of ft for an hour. That is wrong.

Nanny here. My former charge, now five, FaceTimes me every single night on my commute home. It’s fine with me and still so important to him to make the connection even though he can’t see my face. My current employer does text me with cute things the baby does on weekends and it’s sweet.

Trust your nanny to tell you the truth or simply not pick up. If she says it’s okay with her then it is okay with her.

It's quite possible that she's too kind to tell you that she doesn't want to FaceTime your kid on the weekends. She might genuinely love your kid, but that's her free time. She might feel like telling you "no" would reflect badly on her.

I would not have my kid FaceTime the nanny during her off hours unless it was for some specific important reason. Texts would also be minimal. If it's not work-related, then keep it to no more than once a day. Your kid isn't that funny.

Personally, even if she was okay with it, I wouldn't do it, because I would hate it if my boss was routinely contacting me. Even if it's positive, you need time to disconnect from work in order to really recharge.

We have a fantastic nanny who has been with our now 3 yr old DD since she was born. When I ask our nanny if DD can face time her on weekends, nanny always says of course. When I text her with something DD said that was funny, she always responds in kind. She always asks me to text when she leaves on Fridays (she doesn’t work on Mondays so ever weekend is three days away).

The older DD gets, the more she wants to touch base with her nanny on weekends. I keep it very short. But wonder if nanny is just too kind to tell me that it bugs her.