Anonymous wrote:Wish my MB and DB felt the same about me. They couldn't care less. Where do I find all these wonderful families who love their nanny?

It’s a two way street generally I think - and not one that all nannies or families want. I care about my nanny on a deeper level because she emotionally invests in the well being of my family. She loves and takes so much pride in ds, she pitches into the running of our household in amazing ways without being asked, when we are going through a rough time (illnesses, work issues etc) she goes above and beyond to support our family. In return, we are closer and more emotionally invested in her also and try to do much of the same for her.

She’s the only nanny we have had but i imagine if she kept her distance and treated ds like a job, we would feel much more distant to her.

Anonymous wrote:I’m considering not doing a major move that will be best for my family in the long run because I’m so sad about hurting our nanny. She has invested so much love into her relationship with ds that it crushes me to think of the impact this move would have on her.

So yes - I think and worry about her wellbeing and feelings as much as I do anyone’s outside of dh and ds. Certainly more than my sisters, maybe on par with my parents.

Honestly, PP, I don’t know that you are making the right decision. But I do know that our nanny turned down (perhaps postponed) a dream of hers when she was accepted into the Peace Corp because of her relationship with my daughter and it being the wrong time to leave her. So I certainly see how much both parents and nannies give up because the nanny is so important to to family.

Wish my MB and DB felt the same about me. They couldn't care less. Where do I find all these wonderful families who love their nanny?

I’m considering not doing a major move that will be best for my family in the long run because I’m so sad about hurting our nanny. She has invested so much love into her relationship with ds that it crushes me to think of the impact this move would have on her.

So yes - I think and worry about her wellbeing and feelings as much as I do anyone’s outside of dh and ds. Certainly more than my sisters, maybe on par with my parents.

We care a lot about our nanny. Not only is she responsible for our children (a job that we would say is way more important what either of us does for work, even though we both have typically "important" jobs), but we care about her as a person. Her health and mental well-being is super important to us, again, not only because she takes care of our kids (and therefore we don't want her to be sick, depressed, etc.), but because she's a wonderful person. We definitely go out of our way to accommodate her, let her know we appreciate her, take her life outside our family into consideration, etc. We also treat her with a ton of respect. Despite paying for her full-time so she's on call if a kid has to leave school or something, we don't act like we own her, and we respect what she does with her time while they're in school.

Dh
Dc
My mom
My dad
Nanny

Anonymous wrote:Like, on a scale of 1-10, or what? How do you want us to quantify the level of importance?

I can do it.

1. DC
2. DH
3. Nanny

I’m the PP from above and it isn’t hard for me.

She is the most important person, outside of DH, in my life. Are you kidding? My life doesn’t work without our nanny.

Extremely and vitally important to me. Plus I love her and so does my child.

Like, on a scale of 1-10, or what? How do you want us to quantify the level of importance?

Aw, intentional provocation - how sweet.

Anonymous wrote:Nanny is one of the three most important and best loved people on the planet to my child. Because of that, nanny is more important to me than any other employee.

+1. My son calls his nanny his best friend and loves her so much. My DD’s face lights up when the nanny comes in every morning. How could such a person not be important to me?

Anonymous wrote:just a hired hand

You let 'just a hired hand" spend time with your child?

Nanny is one of the three most important and best loved people on the planet to my child. Because of that, nanny is more important to me than any other employee.

just a hired hand

Is your nanny really just an employee? Do you care about her beyond how she serves you and your family?