We have an ap and dh works on average 80 hour weeks and I work from home on a flexible schedule. One of the main reasons we have an ap is because it is flexible childcare, and if dh is working and I need to get things done on a minor holiday when kids are off school but life doesn’t stop, I need my ap to work. It’s never been an issue. We’ve had 4 European au pairs and none of them seemed to pay much attention to the minor American holidays (Labor Day/Veterans Day/Presidents day, etc).

She gets off the holidays you get off. If you have to work, she needs to provide coverage. Not all employers give off all holidays. We don't get them off.

Most U.S. employers (except gov't) don't give off
Presidents'Day, Columbus Day, Veterans Day.

When I get one of these off, I usually need AP to work, because that's my one day to get 3-5 months of errands done.

Only these holidays should be guaranteed. I wish the agencies would just write it into their program for clarification:
New Year's Day
Memorial Day
Independence Day
Labor Day
Thanksgiving
Christmas

All others are not guaranteed nationwide, so they aren't guaranteed for APs either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Technically, nothing in the rules say HF is required to give AP a free day off on national holidays. It is up to the discretion of the HF to give that holiday day off.

Also nothing in the rule that says if HP have off, then AP has off. Again, at the discretion of the HF. Even if the HP has the day off, that may be the rare day when HP can actually get some much need work around the house or home projects done without the kids being in their way so childcare is still needed and AP would be asked to work.

If AP wants to guarantee to be off on a national holiday, then she needs to request that day as a vacation day (like another other day in the year) and HP needs to agree to it.

Of course it’s a household rule not a program rule to give AP off when we have off. But it’s a relationship preserving rule.

I disagree. One of the reasons we have an AP is for flexible child care, including holidays we don't get off. And I don't get off Veterans Day, MLK Day, Pres Day, Columbus Day etc. If I have to give AP all those days off I may as well not have an AP. I do give Xmas, NYE and Thanksgiving off, though I of course invite AP to spend it with us.

Anonymous wrote:Technically, nothing in the rules say HF is required to give AP a free day off on national holidays. It is up to the discretion of the HF to give that holiday day off.

Also nothing in the rule that says if HP have off, then AP has off. Again, at the discretion of the HF. Even if the HP has the day off, that may be the rare day when HP can actually get some much need work around the house or home projects done without the kids being in their way so childcare is still needed and AP would be asked to work.

If AP wants to guarantee to be off on a national holiday, then she needs to request that day as a vacation day (like another other day in the year) and HP needs to agree to it.

Of course it’s a household rule not a program rule to give AP off when we have off. But it’s a relationship preserving rule.

Technically, nothing in the rules say HF is required to give AP a free day off on national holidays. It is up to the discretion of the HF to give that holiday day off.

Also nothing in the rule that says if HP have off, then AP has off. Again, at the discretion of the HF. Even if the HP has the day off, that may be the rare day when HP can actually get some much need work around the house or home projects done without the kids being in their way so childcare is still needed and AP would be asked to work.

If AP wants to guarantee to be off on a national holiday, then she needs to request that day as a vacation day (like another other day in the year) and HP needs to agree to it.

My European APs were also shocked that the national holidays were not a work-free day for all. But they don't question why they are also able to shop, dine out, get their nails done, etc during those holidays- in their country, those businesses would also take the day off.

Anonymous wrote:Our rule is that she gets the days off where both parents have the day off. Our offices do not follow national holidays either and if we have to work, we need care for the kids. We make that very clear up front.

That's what we do as well. If we are off, she is off. If one of us has to work, it depends. Sometimes one parent needs to attend to chores during the day off, so the AP sometimes only get part of the day off. And no, we do not count those days against her vacation days. We treat vacations as 2 times seven consecutive days off.

We also say at the outset our days off are her days off, but if we work she works. My au pairs have also said something about this (along the lines of “wtf why don’t you have off?!”) and are generally surprised by how much we work (we only hire europeans). Welcome to the “cultural exchange” folks!

Well, even if I’m working from home, I’m still working. I might have greater flexibility on those days, but I still have work to do. For example on a recent federal holiday, I took a day trip with the au pair. I dropped her off with baby for sight-seeing. I worked at coffee shop for 3 hours. We had lunch together. I took her to an imported foods market to get her some stuff from her country. I worked another 2 hours, and then told the au pair went off the clock at her normal time.

I’ve rarely given national holidays off, and haven’t had to explain myself for the five years I’ve hosted. I work on those holidays, and my kids aren’t in school, and this is why I host an AP. The agency explained to me that while any extra days off ,including national holidays, would be (should be ) appreciated by AP, it is not an obligation to give those holidays if you need child care and if AP still has her 1.5-2 day weekend.
Sounds like your AP is being coached by a peer who has a different situation in her HF.

The rule of thubb is that if you work then you can expect her to work. If you are off then you would let her be off.
Where au pairs ( and Nannies) get resentful is if you are off and you still make her work.
If you are actually working then you shouldnt feel any guilt in needing her to work.

Our rule is that she gets the days off where both parents have the day off. Our offices do not follow national holidays either and if we have to work, we need care for the kids. We make that very clear up front.

The au pair seems to be suggesting that she should get national holidays off, or that some other au pairs, do get these days off, and if she takes the day or part of the day off, it should not count against her vacation days. I personally do not get all of the national holidays off, and still need child care on those days. Even when our office is closed, because I have a lot of foreign clients, I still need to do some work on those days. I am sympathetic to a point and offered to shift hours (she never works weeknights or weekends), but she seems to be saying she should get national holidays off as one of her work days, e.g., no work on Veteran's Day and then she only would work T-Fri during the day with no adjustments. What is the rule?