I ALWAYS negotiate visiting/FaceTiming relatives in my contracts. My theory is this: a child can never be harmed by many people giving unconditional love, but conditional love and jealousy/resentment can harm a child very quickly, no matter who is doing it. If ANYONE in my charge’s life demonstrates that they don’t understand the difference, I explain; if they don’t agree, I won’t be a part of that relationship, and that means no FaceTime or visits while I’m present. Any adult who understands and agrees is welcome to visit/FaceTime. If I know the adult gets 2 weeks or less with the child during a year, I will make changes to our schedule to accommodate (instead of going to a standing play date, let’s go to the park with grandpa today); if they visit more than that, the adult is welcome to join us for our schedule and I do my best to make smaller changes (we’re going to the standing play date, but grandma can help do the craft, and I’ll do clean up for everyone while grandma and other kids/nannies go play or eat snack). I fit irregular FaceTime calls in whenever they come in, unless it interrupts meals or naps; I prefer to set up block of time 2-3 times per week for regular FaceTime calls, that way adults know when it’s a good time, and that way kids aren’t locked into one time and upset when life happens.

I’m an MB and give our nanny the day off so she doesn’t have to deal with my MIL when she visits for the day (she lives out out of town). It’s not easy for me because I know our nanny does a much better job with my daughters than my MIL but it’s the least I can do. Some grandmas do not react well to your nanny knowing more about your child than they do. Or worse, grandma thinks she knows more than nanny. Lol

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her, yes, I think that would be a good idea. Tell the child if grandma takes her blanket you will buy her a new one.

I will tell her that it would be a good ideas to leave but my charge loves this worn out blanket. No replacing it.

Can you convince your charge to keep it away from grandma hidden when she visits?

How about grandma grows up?

If she hasn't done it by now she isn't going to.

How about grandma stays away when OP is working?

Seriously, this should not be your problem, OP. Talk to your employers about how this is not working out for you anymore and causing conflicts. Grandma is interfering with how you do your job.

She sounds awful!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here. Just a question, how common is this? Both my parents still work full time jobs and are local , my mom has never even met our nanny ( 2 plus years). They would never have the time or desire to come over when our nanny is here. They come over on weekends or rarely my mom comes after work if I need additional help. Are that many retired grandmas just coming over all the time when the parents aren’t there ? seems so weird to me.

I am another nanny with a local grandmother who wants to spend time with the kids during the week. I think sometimes it is worse because the kinds of grandparents who are spending time during the week are the ones that bug the parents enough that they don’t want to deal with them on weekends.

Last time I went on a joint outing with grandma, my charge fell and ran around grandma’s outstretched arms to get a kiss from me instead. Grandma complained the whole way home.

Very true.

Anonymous wrote:MB here. Just a question, how common is this? Both my parents still work full time jobs and are local , my mom has never even met our nanny ( 2 plus years). They would never have the time or desire to come over when our nanny is here. They come over on weekends or rarely my mom comes after work if I need additional help. Are that many retired grandmas just coming over all the time when the parents aren’t there ? seems so weird to me.

I have one wretched grandmother like OP’s currently but the other five (three families in 18 years as a nanny) have either been out of state, still working or not interested. This one I have now is dreadful.

Anonymous wrote:MB here. Just a question, how common is this? Both my parents still work full time jobs and are local , my mom has never even met our nanny ( 2 plus years). They would never have the time or desire to come over when our nanny is here. They come over on weekends or rarely my mom comes after work if I need additional help. Are that many retired grandmas just coming over all the time when the parents aren’t there ? seems so weird to me.

I am another nanny with a local grandmother who wants to spend time with the kids during the week. I think sometimes it is worse because the kinds of grandparents who are spending time during the week are the ones that bug the parents enough that they don’t want to deal with them on weekends.

Last time I went on a joint outing with grandma, my charge fell and ran around grandma’s outstretched arms to get a kiss from me instead. Grandma complained the whole way home.

MB here. Just a question, how common is this? Both my parents still work full time jobs and are local , my mom has never even met our nanny ( 2 plus years). They would never have the time or desire to come over when our nanny is here. They come over on weekends or rarely my mom comes after work if I need additional help. Are that many retired grandmas just coming over all the time when the parents aren’t there ? seems so weird to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her, yes, I think that would be a good idea. Tell the child if grandma takes her blanket you will buy her a new one.

I will tell her that it would be a good ideas to leave but my charge loves this worn out blanket. No replacing it.

Can you convince your charge to keep it away from grandma hidden when she visits?

How about grandma grows up?

If she hasn't done it by now she isn't going to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her, yes, I think that would be a good idea. Tell the child if grandma takes her blanket you will buy her a new one.

I will tell her that it would be a good ideas to leave but my charge loves this worn out blanket. No replacing it.

Can you convince your charge to keep it away from grandma hidden when she visits?

How about grandma grows up?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her, yes, I think that would be a good idea. Tell the child if grandma takes her blanket you will buy her a new one.

I will tell her that it would be a good ideas to leave but my charge loves this worn out blanket. No replacing it.

Can you convince your charge to keep it away from grandma hidden when she visits?

Another nanny and I were talking about the same thing - how we are going to start to ask in interviews where the grandmothers live. If in town, pass on the job.

Grandparents shouldn’t be around when the nanny is there anyway. Visit your grandchild when the parents are home.

Anonymous wrote:Tell her, yes, I think that would be a good idea. Tell the child if grandma takes her blanket you will buy her a new one.

I will tell her that it would be a good ideas to leave but my charge loves this worn out blanket. No replacing it.

Tell her, yes, I think that would be a good idea. Tell the child if grandma takes her blanket you will buy her a new one.

Anonymous wrote:She causes nothing but heartache in my employer’s family and is a pain in the ass to me. She is one of those phoney overly sweet people who cries over everything.

And she lays these guilt trips on my 2 yr old charge! When my charge moves away from what she is doing she says things like, “well if you don’t want to play with me, I am going to take the toy I just gave you and go home.” She also teases my charge by saying she is going to take her best beloved security blanket. Why?! Why would a grown woman tease a toddler like that?! I immediately tell my charge that grandma is kidding and reassure her that no one is taking her blanket. Then the grandmother goes crying to my employers saying I won’t let her play with my charge.

Seriously, Nannies, from now on in any future nanny job interview, my first question will be about where the grandparents live.

And when I say “crying”, I mean actual tears and “poor me” sobbing.

She causes nothing but heartache in my employer’s family and is a pain in the ass to me. She is one of those phoney overly sweet people who cries over everything.

And she lays these guilt trips on my 2 yr old charge! When my charge moves away from what she is doing she says things like, “well if you don’t want to play with me, I am going to take the toy I just gave you and go home.” She also teases my charge by saying she is going to take her best beloved security blanket. Why?! Why would a grown woman tease a toddler like that?! I immediately tell my charge that grandma is kidding and reassure her that no one is taking her blanket. Then the grandmother goes crying to my employers saying I won’t let her play with my charge.

Seriously, Nannies, from now on in any future nanny job interview, my first question will be about where the grandparents live.