Are you asking specifically about overnight guests? Obviously no drinking and driving, remind her to use an Uber if she plans to drink, though a glass of wine at dinner is perfectly acceptable. No curfew or anything like that. As far as overnight guests go, threat is very personal. For me (I think, but have never been in your situation) I would have a blanket rule of no overnight guests with the caveat that exceptions can be made on a case by case basis, be that a girlfriend visiting, a boyfriend you feel safe with, etc. What are the questions that you are trying to navigate?

What's her room situation? When DS' nanny was a live in, she lived in an in law apt type set up above the garage. We allowed overnight guests. Beyond don't smoke and don't do anything illegal, we didn't have many restrictions of what she could do in her space. It worked out well. She didn't move out until.she decided to move in with her BF (now husband) 2 years after starting with us

Your house, your rules.
It's as simple as that

Former AP - Now professional Nanny.

Anonymous wrote:We are new to the live-in nanny world. Our nanny is 23. What rules or guidelines do you have? It's not like we have a teen age daughter living under our roof but she does live under our roof. She does have access to a car and we have firmly said no drinking and driving but so far that's all we've said.

No guys around your kids. Boyfriend is gone before anyone is up in the morning.

But, OP... what if she chooses to go to her boyfriend's house? She needs to be ready to work at her start time.

No overnight stays, regardless if she has a separate entrance. I would also be weary of a BF hanging around you kids.

We have a no overnight guest rule for our live in. No strange men here.

We have met a boyfriend that come to pick her up at our house once or twice and of course friends, but no overnight guests.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is her home and her space but she needs to be respectful. I would not want a dufferent guy in my house every weekend but once she establishes a relationship i would be ok with occasional sleepovers.

Respectful of whom? Her room is her space. I can’t imagine OP has a live in nanny next to her and the kids rooms! You can’t treat a nanny live an au pair!

How is an au pair different in this case? I agree -- unless she has a separate apartment with a separate entrance, I would want to meet anyone she has staying there. If she doesn't like it, she can stop being a live-in nanny. No strange men around my kids.

does she have her own entrance? Where is her room? I’m 23 and a nanny and I have never lived in, but I would also not want to bring guys around. That’s just me. I don’t do drugs, but I do drink (off hours only of course). I have a bf so maybe that would be different than sleeping around and bringing a different guy around every week or whatever.

Anonymous wrote:It is her home and her space but she needs to be respectful. I would not want a dufferent guy in my house every weekend but once she establishes a relationship i would be ok with occasional sleepovers.

Respectful of whom? Her room is her space. I can’t imagine OP has a live in nanny next to her and the kids rooms! You can’t treat a nanny live an au pair!

It is her home and her space but she needs to be respectful. I would not want a dufferent guy in my house every weekend but once she establishes a relationship i would be ok with occasional sleepovers.

Don’t cross the line into treating her like a teenager then. She is an adult and her room(s) are part of her salary.

Does she have her own entrance?

Her off hours are her off hours, OP, and her private space is her private space - both she should use as she chooses.

You understand that it's a discussion if you want her there. Next time you put things in the contract.

no overnight guests seems reasonable, though I'm sure there will be people on here who say otherwise. She's 23...not exactly the epitome of common sense. You don't need random people staying overnight in your home w/o your kids.

We are new to the live-in nanny world. Our nanny is 23. What rules or guidelines do you have? It's not like we have a teen age daughter living under our roof but she does live under our roof. She does have access to a car and we have firmly said no drinking and driving but so far that's all we've said.