^ This is an amazing response, thanks! These are all excellent questions and things to consider. It’s really nice to hear from someone’s who has experience on the matter.

I agree w/ others about trying to get a sense of whether they've employed a nanny before. If they have then there's tons of information available about why they're looking again, what worked best/worst with their prior nanny(ies), etc...

Also - what traits or skills matter most to you/what are your non-negotiables?

I might also try to get a sense of what the mom does for her day job - is she someone experienced at hiring/managing employees?

I do this kind of thing for a former nanny who uses us as a reference, but I agree that it needs to be done artfully - you have to be deft so a potential employer isn't annoyed by feeling they're being interviewed when they just called for a reference.

I also pay attention to whether the person calling me seems really excited about our former nanny or if they're just considering her a means to an end. (Meaning, did they pay attention to who she is and genuinely like her, or do they just want someone who has basic skills but won't necessarily be an individual in their eyes.)

And I always try to get a sense of whether they know what they're doing in terms of paying legally, having a contract, offering a decent package of leave/holidays etc... Of course it isn't really any of my business but I care about our former nanny and I'm happy to help her - and other families - find the best fit.

Okay, I can see this thread has devolved into the inevitable call of the assholes. To the first three posters, thank you. I appreciate you taking the time and providing helpful insight!

-Op

Is your nanny stupid? Why can't she make these judgment calls on her own. If you started grilling me, I would tell you where to stuff it!

Anonymous wrote:Answer their questions about the nanny and give truthful answers.

Do grill them on how they will treat your former nanny. They will think you are nuts and it might reflect badly on the nanny.

Let go. Your nanny is a Grownup and can make her own decisions.

* Do NOT grill.

Answer their questions about the nanny and give truthful answers.

Do grill them on how they will treat your former nanny. They will think you are nuts and it might reflect badly on the nanny.

Let go. Your nanny is a Grownup and can make her own decisions.

I would ask for some basic info about their (# age gender) and their prior experience with nannies early in the interview and make sure to highlight points about your nanny that would be relevant. And if you had any “special” situation like 3+ kids, nanny started with infants and stayed thru middle school, any special needs... I may say like “I don’t know what your family plans are/what your kids are like, but mine were blah blah blah and Jane was good with this in XYZ ways” which leaves them an open door to volunteer more personal info that would help guide your conversation.

I think there is quite a bit you can tell just from the questions they ask, but so much of it comes down to personal fit that unless I would gauge just for major red flags around basic respect and employment terms, I would leave fit mostly to your nanny to figure out.

Why are they going the nanny route, what do they hopevto get out of the relationship? Are they looking for long term?

Have they ever had a nanny before? If so, why did she leave? Are they still in contact with her?

Say your time with your nanny is coming to an end. You really love your nanny and want to make sure whichever family she ends up with next is going to be a good one. What questions would you ask a potential family when they call you for a reference check?