Anonymous wrote:I would always choose an educated and experienced nanny. The one-on-one attention in the first three years is vitally important for development. We really sacrifice to have a nanny who is a former preschool teacher and she engaged DD since she was born with narration, singing, reading and finger-play. DD's receptive communication was off-the-charts amazing by the time she was four months old. And she was a very, very early talker. Nanny has found classes and story times for her, runs a playgroup and has her at playdates - something every day to keep her engaged.

DD is a very polite, bright and very cooperative e little girl at 2.5 now - because of our nanny. And her vocabulary is truly amazing because nanny never talks down to her the way that daycare teachers have to in order to be understood by all of the children. DD also loves books and Nanny has the ability to read to her for over an hour a day - and always has - which is simply not possible in daycare. DD has an amazing imagination and is just a very happy, loving and well adjusted kid.

DD was accepted into a great preschool for the fall. During our interview, the administrator asked a lot of questions about our nanny and DD's schedule.

The first five years are the most important in your child's life. My advice would be to spend the money now rather than later.

Anonymous wrote:Daycare or nanny is fine. Both gives lives, dicipline and education.
Just dont ask your grandparents to take care of your kids, they will spoiled them.

Anonymous wrote:I would always choose an educated and experienced nanny. The one-on-one attention in the first three years is vitally important for development. We really sacrifice to have a nanny who is a former preschool teacher and she engaged DD since she was born with narration, singing, reading and finger-play. DD's receptive communication was off-the-charts amazing by the time she was four months old. And she was a very, very early talker. Nanny has found classes and story times for her, runs a playgroup and has her at playdates - something every day to keep her engaged.

DD is a very polite, bright and very cooperative e little girl at 2.5 now - because of our nanny. And her vocabulary is truly amazing because nanny never talks down to her the way that daycare teachers have to in order to be understood by all of the children. DD also loves books and Nanny has the ability to read to her for over an hour a day - and always has - which is simply not possible in daycare. DD has an amazing imagination and is just a very happy, loving and well adjusted kid.

DD was accepted into a great preschool for the fall. During our interview, the administrator asked a lot of questions about our nanny and DD's schedule.

The first five years are the most important in your child's life. My advice would be to spend the money now rather than later.

Anonymous wrote: I am the PP above with the crazy long reply. If I were In your shoes, I would go with a nanny share. It should still be some savings compared with a private nanny, and if the nanny share breaks up, you can always move to daycare later. As I said in your shoes, I would go with a nanny share. It should still be some savings compared with a private nanny, and if the nanny share breaks up, you can always move to daycare later. For example, if the nanny share lasts for a year, you now have an 18 month old who will actually benefit at least to some degree from being around other kids and being in a more structured and scheduled environment. The pros and cons shake out differently for an infant, versus a one-year-old, versus a two-year-old, so I wouldn’t worry so much about the fact that your nanny share probably won’t last for the entire time that you need childcare. It’s OK to go through different child care phases. I don’t think that it’s ideal to be switching child care constantly in the early years, but if for example you had a nanny share from 6 to 24 months, then daycare from age 2 to age 4, that is not at all too many transitions.

Anonymous wrote:How many hours a day will your child be in care? How old will he be when you start daycare? Do you plan to have other children and if so how far do you plan to space them out?

I am a nanny FWIW, but I have worked in daycare and preschool (starting with 1yos) settings as well. The pros for daycare are mostly financial for infants. An infant needs time in a dyad (meaning an adult who is loving and responsive and bonded) and do not benefit from “socialization.” Babies learn to socialize by modeling on the empathetic and responsive behavior of a bonded caregiver, not by interacting with peers. Now depending on the daycare they can still do a good bit of this but you want to look at how they structure their day. If the infant room has 3 caregivers, for example, each caregiver should be caring for specific babies as their primary charges. For example, when it is naptime, you should see Sondra changing, feeding and soothing her 4 charges, and the same for Marta and Jennifer. You should not see Sondra handling diapers, Marta handling bottles and Jennifer shushing and patting. You want a bonded relationship that continues through each step, not an assembly line approach.

Nanny care can be a double-edged sword because a great nanny is WAY better than any daycare but a bad nanny has no real checks in place to prevent neglect or abuse (not saying daycares don’t have cases of abuse and honestly a certain degree of neglect is inherant in a 3-1 or 4-1 ratio).

If your baby is in care for a long time (9+ hours), then the quality of care matters more. If your baby is starting younger, again, quality of care matters more. If you are planning to have another baby soon, then the cost of a nanny for two kids goes up only marginally but the cost for two in daycare doubles.

Here are just some general pros and cons:

Nanny pros:
logistical simplicity of baby being in his/her own home, having a consistent routine
Higher level of control over schedule, food choices, discipline choices, etc.
More responsive care, both in little things (diapers changed asap) and bigger things (day is tailored to baby’s personality and learning style).
You can hire a nanny with a higher level of education, who is a truly fluent English speaker, both of which correlate to language development. Daycares often can’t command that at their rates, and even if they do offer that, there is no guarantee they won’t have turnover that changes is.
Your baby will generally catch fewer colds etc. in-home
It is easier to find backup care for a sick nanny/healthy baby than for a sick baby who can’t go to daycare

Nanny cons:
baby is in your house so your house is occupied all day (making WFH and sick days hard) and it gets messy faster.
Nanny sick days/PTO days
If you have a bad nanny it is harder to replace and hard to identify the issue up front.

Daycare pros:
Financial, obviously
Built-in backups
Your house stays clean
Community of parents can sometimes bond

Daycare cons:
You have very little control over your child’s day
Baby is exposed to more germs
There is a ceiling on how well they can care for each child
You have to pack everything up every day and wake baby at a certain time
When baby gets sick, you will have to miss work.

Have you explored nanny shares? I think those are a good midpoint for a lot of people if you can find a good fit.