Agree that your one year anniversary is the time to have this conversation. In advance, look into the wage that a special needs nanny with your level of training and experience would earn in your area.

After getting the discussion going with talk about how things are going and getting some praise for the family in, I would say something like “I want to discuss our compensation agreement. Obviously this job has changed quite a bit from what we all expected. A nanny with my experience in this role would typically make $xy per hour and I am hoping we can get my rate aligned with that.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those are not extra duties for that particular child. That is based on the child's needs.

But they’re extra duties from when I was hired. My pay reflects my duties when I was hired, not my duties now.

No they are not. Kids change as they get older. If it wasn't therapy appointments, it would be activities and play dates. Granted activities are more fun for you but your job grows as the child's needs grow or change and that is part of your job. If you were asked to clean the entire house, do all the families laundry, etc. that would be expanded duties but care of the child, regardless of what it is, is your job.

Except I’d never agree to those duties. I’m a nanny. I don’t do housework. If I do, I’m compensated for it.

Maybe its time for a new job as it doesn't sound like you are comfortable with this child's needs. You use the house, you should be responsible for helping to care for the common areas you use.

Op, absolutely bring it up. It's perfect that your anniversary is coming up as it gives you a good "in" to ask vs bringing it up out of the blue.

I'm sure they will be receptive. I'm sure that with everything going on a raise is something they haven't put as a priority. Probably discussed it a couple of times but then something else came up.

I think it is perfectly reasonable for you to ask for and be granted a raise given the change in job responsibilities. I would also tread gently and carefully as these parents are clearly going through so much right now and may also be under financial pressure as insurance often only covers so much of the health and therapeutic expenses.

As mentioned above, I would ask for some time around your one-year anniversary and basically say what you said above - that you love their daughter, that you feel you are up for the added responsibilities and emotional commitment but it is a lot and that you'd like for them to think about and talk about adjusting your compensation to account for the added responsibilities or to keep the same total compensation but adjust the hours down. I would also tell them that you aren't expecting an answer right now - so they don't feel pressured at the moment of the conversation.

I have no doubt that if you left, they would have to pay more than what they are likely paying you as they would have to disclose the true responsibilities of the job which clearly go beyond those of a regular nanny. So I'm sure they would much rather retain you as you know them, you know their daughter and are up to speed on the requirements to care for their daughter.

I hope the conversation goes well and please come back and let us know how it goes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those are not extra duties for that particular child. That is based on the child's needs.

But they’re extra duties from when I was hired. My pay reflects my duties when I was hired, not my duties now.

No they are not. Kids change as they get older. If it wasn't therapy appointments, it would be activities and play dates. Granted activities are more fun for you but your job grows as the child's needs grow or change and that is part of your job. If you were asked to clean the entire house, do all the families laundry, etc. that would be expanded duties but care of the child, regardless of what it is, is your job.

Except I’d never agree to those duties. I’m a nanny. I don’t do housework. If I do, I’m compensated for it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those are not extra duties for that particular child. That is based on the child's needs.

But they’re extra duties from when I was hired. My pay reflects my duties when I was hired, not my duties now.

No they are not. Kids change as they get older. If it wasn't therapy appointments, it would be activities and play dates. Granted activities are more fun for you but your job grows as the child's needs grow or change and that is part of your job. If you were asked to clean the entire house, do all the families laundry, etc. that would be expanded duties but care of the child, regardless of what it is, is your job.

Anonymous wrote:Those are not extra duties for that particular child. That is based on the child's needs.

But they’re extra duties from when I was hired. My pay reflects my duties when I was hired, not my duties now.

This is a special situation, and your one year anniversary is coming up. These are both good reasons to schedule a serious conversation. You should consider what would be ideal for you, and then you and the parents can talk through the possibilities. For example, do you just want a higher rate? Or would you like fewer hours, with maybe another, part time nanny to cover some?

Are there any duties you'd like to eliminate, or change? More PTO?

I think you need to approach this as looking for ways to allow you to stay long term without burn out.

Anonymous wrote:tube feedings and medications sound like a job for a RN and CNA. I would be worried about doing those things as a nanny without proper medical license and training. OP, you should ask them to hire home care for the medical stuff while you handle the nanny stuff otherwise just quit and look for a new job because that job will wear u out.

I was trained by childlife specialist as were MB and DB.

They also have to tube feed and do medical things and they are not medically trained. I feel like I can do all required, and an in-Home nurse visits occasionally to help out.

tube feedings and medications sound like a job for a RN and CNA. I would be worried about doing those things as a nanny without proper medical license and training. OP, you should ask them to hire home care for the medical stuff while you handle the nanny stuff otherwise just quit and look for a new job because that job will wear u out.

Those are not extra duties for that particular child. That is based on the child's needs.

Anonymous wrote:You have a mouth. Ask and you shall receive. You should have discussed extra duties = additional compensation.

I know I have a mouth, what I’m asking is this appropriate for me to ask.

Yes, they know extra duties means extra $$$ but at the same time they’ve had a lot going on...

You have a mouth. Ask and you shall receive. You should have discussed extra duties = additional compensation.

It's not like she has an acute illness. This is a chronic life-long health issue that requires significant care and responsibility. It's not unreasonable at all to ask for a raise. I would ask for a sit down and tell them what you wrote here.

I started my position when NK was 6 weeks old and she is now 11 months old. Since I started NK has had health issues that progressively got worse after 6 months. The last two months have been hell for all of us, especially NK and NF. NK was diagnosed with a chronic illness that will require specialize lifetime care. NF really wanted me to stay with them if I was comfortable and I am and I want to stay. I love NK and know it’s best for everyone if there is consistent care. It would be very difficult ot for NF to hire a new, capable nanny while being in the midst of all this medical chaos.

Now here is where I’m unsure of what to do.

My responsibilities and entire job title has shifted immensely but my compensation has not. You can see why I’m posting this anonymously, I’m sure I’ll be called a selfish greedy jerk.

But, I essentially have zero down time and work on a strict schedule of medications, tube feedings, therapies, appointments, cleaning and organizing medical supplies etc... I’m spending a lot of my days with NK in the hospital and it’s extremely stressful. I do feel like my hourly rate should be increased but don’t feel comfortable asking. They didn’t expect for their child to be sick, so it’s a special situation. I do know if I quit they’d have a really difficult time replacing me at the rate they are paying me given the circumstances.

I DO NOT want to leave NF. So either tell me I’m way out of line for expecting a raise because NF infant is sick or let me know it’s ok if I ask for a raise. But don’t suggest I quit, because that’s not what is best for either party.

Thank you.


(Prepared for backlash)