I can already tell my MB of six months has issues with the baby having an attachment to me.

He loves everyone, and never cries when I leave or anyone leaves but he does come to me and MB always gives me the worst look.

Do they want someone their children hate?

He shows no preference, but I can tell she wants him to cry when she leaves. My first Mb would do everything in her power to get my charge upset when she left.

Anonymous wrote:Stop doing stuff with your charges family. That's weird!

And if it's part of the job description?

I drove 13 hours with a previous db, stayed in his brother's house with him and all of the kids, met all of his relatives... it wasn't an option.

I worked Thanksgiving. Mb and db were upstairs with friends and a relative, I had kids downstairs. I had a blast, but I've also had past Thanksgivings with other families in which everyone was together, around 100-150 people.

Stop doing stuff with your charges family. That's weird!

If your MB is not normally like this I wouldn't worry, it can sting a bit especially in front of other family members or friends. When little my kids would often call me by the nanny's name and vice-versa, especially in the 20 minutes or so after a transition. Mostly I found it funny, occasionally it hurt my feelings a little but that was quickly outweighed by knowing my child had a loving caregiver to which he was attached when I couldn't be there.

We have discovered that my two-year-old does not cry when she gets a shot at the doctors if her nanny is holding her. DD noticed it and is still talking about it.

Yeah - ouch for mom. But, as I have posted many times, so much better to have a happy secure kid with a loving nanny!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My two-year-old charge is very close to her mother and a real "mama's girl". I have been with her since birth and have always been second choice when her mother is around - until last night. At a big family Hanukkah celebration, during the prayers and songs, my charge demanded to sit on my lap. My employer got that look on her face I have never seen before from her as her daughter ran over to me. I love my employers and both are happy that their child is close to me. But that look...

I think every nanny knows and dreads that look. I lost my last job when my charge cried for me when I left for home. MB put him in daycare.

MB was probably embarrassed it was in front of a large group of family members.

+1 And yeah - it stings when your child wants the nanny instead of you in that given moment. But for the long-term health of everyone involved, the nanny-charge attachment is vitally important and should be honored.
- signed and MB who has gotten stung a couple of times

Anonymous wrote:My two-year-old charge is very close to her mother and a real "mama's girl". I have been with her since birth and have always been second choice when her mother is around - until last night. At a big family Hanukkah celebration, during the prayers and songs, my charge demanded to sit on my lap. My employer got that look on her face I have never seen before from her as her daughter ran over to me. I love my employers and both are happy that their child is close to me. But that look...

I think every nanny knows and dreads that look. I lost my last job when my charge cried for me when I left for home. MB put him in daycare.

MB was probably embarrassed it was in front of a large group of family members.

Anonymous wrote:I think it is incredibly odd for a Nanny to get fired over having her charge love her so much.

If a child really loves their Nanny, then that is a clear sign (in my book anyway,) that a Nanny is doing her job well & that the Nanny is definitely worth her weight in pure gold.

Not "odd" at all. Surprisingly and sadly common. Some insecure mothers are very threatened by their child's relationship with his/her nanny. I think all good nannies know that hurt look from mothers. Article after article has been written about it. One article I read had the mother so jealous that she put her toddler in daycare and was happy when the child cried for the mother.

I honor my son's relationship with his nanny even though it does sting when he wants her and not me.

Anonymous wrote:I think it is incredibly odd for a Nanny to get fired over having her charge love her so much.

If a child really loves their Nanny, then that is a clear sign (in my book anyway,) that a Nanny is doing her job well & that the Nanny is definitely worth her weight in pure gold.

It depends on why the family is opting for a nanny vs other childcare. Families who do well with a nanny value having another aecure attachment figure for their child that can remain consistent for several years and want to incorporate that person into their family unit. The families who struggle with this usually chose a nanny for logistical reasons like an odd work schedule or lots of travel or for convenience (not having to schlepp to daycare, wanting to have help with laundry, have 3 kids and nanny was cheaper, etc.) For these families, they don’t really want or value the nanny/child relationship and they often struggle with not seeing the difference between nanny/child bond and parent/child bond, which makes then feel threatened.

I've had that "problem" for a few days with one of my charges, the 18 month old little girl is calling me "mama" during the day when the mom's not there and this morning she ran to me and said "mama" to me in front of her mom ...
The mom didn't show any reaction but I'm afraid she'll get upset.

So I always correct that little girl by saying : 'i'm not mama, i'm "nanny" ...I'm hoping it'll go away, that's the first times it's happening to me after about 10 years of nannying.

I think it is incredibly odd for a Nanny to get fired over having her charge love her so much.

If a child really loves their Nanny, then that is a clear sign (in my book anyway,) that a Nanny is doing her job well & that the Nanny is definitely worth her weight in pure gold.

I know that look. I hate that look. Hopefully for your sake, OP, I hope it was a fleeting thought for your MB.

One of my charges cried out for me while DB was getting him ready for bed last week. DB had accidentally done somethjng, charge was tired and upset but not thinking clearly enough to realize he wasn't hurt. I was very leery of going to him, but DB is amazing, he just wanted the evening to progress, and if that meant I took over with the child until he calmed down, that was what would happen.

I really don't have much sympathy for mothers who are so threatened by attachment to a nanny, and so subject to manipulation by their kids.

I hope your employer is smarter than your last one OP.

- MB

My two-year-old charge is very close to her mother and a real "mama's girl". I have been with her since birth and have always been second choice when her mother is around - until last night. At a big family Hanukkah celebration, during the prayers and songs, my charge demanded to sit on my lap. My employer got that look on her face I have never seen before from her as her daughter ran over to me. I love my employers and both are happy that their child is close to me. But that look...

I think every nanny knows and dreads that look. I lost my last job when my charge cried for me when I left for home. MB put him in daycare.