Anonymous
Post 11/28/2017 13:54     Subject: Re:Bully nanny
4 years is a lot. It's too long to work for the same family, things always get worse with time. Families asking for more things, nannies being tired ...

I only stay with families until kids go to school, 2 years is enough for me.


This makes no sense. Firstly, we have had the same nanny for SIX years. Secondly, our nanny has less to do with our oldest in school. Thirdly, my kids did not go to school at age 2. What are you talking about?



I was wondering about this too. Things don't have to get worse with time. And families generally prefer long-term nannies because continuity is one of the selling points of having a nanny. If 2 years is the maximum a nanny will stay, may as well get an AP.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2017 13:48     Subject: Bully nanny
Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. Well I talked to her this morning and it didn’t go well. She raised her voice and started yelling (again) that she entitled to be sick. I Just walked away. I said “bully” because she does this because she knows we can’t fire her because we need her. But today, i realize we must move on. She loves my daughter so much and I will say NEVER let’s this affect her. We have never asked her to come in early or late because she always copes an attitude and I’m afraid she’ll quit. But today was the last straw!


Yeah she's gotta go. Yelling isn't an acceptable response. Hope your next nanny is a bit more pleasant.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2017 13:31     Subject: Bully nanny
Anonymous wrote:4 years is a lot. It's too long to work for the same family, things always get worse with time. Families asking for more things, nannies being tired ...

I only stay with families until kids go to school, 2 years is enough for me.


This makes no sense. Firstly, we have had the same nanny for SIX years. Secondly, our nanny has less to do with our oldest in school. Thirdly, my kids did not go to school at age 2. What are you talking about?
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2017 13:01     Subject: Bully nanny
Thanks all. Well I talked to her this morning and it didn’t go well. She raised her voice and started yelling (again) that she entitled to be sick. I Just walked away. I said “bully” because she does this because she knows we can’t fire her because we need her. But today, i realize we must move on. She loves my daughter so much and I will say NEVER let’s this affect her. We have never asked her to come in early or late because she always copes an attitude and I’m afraid she’ll quit. But today was the last straw!
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2017 07:08     Subject: Bully nanny
If this is a sudden or gradual change in attitude, maybe it’s a personal issue unrelated to work. Definitely tell her that her attitude towards you isn’t ok regardless.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2017 06:54     Subject: Bully nanny
She's not happy with you for some reason. You need to check in with her and ask her what's wrong. Have you asked her to take on more duties? Do you guys come home late? Have you forced her to endure your relatives over the holidays?
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2017 03:47     Subject: Bully nanny
4 years is a lot. It's too long to work for the same family, things always get worse with time. Families asking for more things, nannies being tired ...

I only stay with families until kids go to school, 2 years is enough for me.
Anonymous
Post 11/27/2017 23:32     Subject: Bully nanny
It's probably monumental job creep.
Anonymous
Post 11/27/2017 22:05     Subject: Bully nanny
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ok we have had our nanny for four years and she knows we need her. Both are lawyers and demanding schedules. Lately our nanny has been truly a bully. She comes to work unhappy, makes her breakfast, and doesn’t even try to transition. I spent 10-15 minutes trying to engage in small talk. Today she called in sick - I don’t doubt she’s sick but she’s used all her sick day (we gave 5 days but we have generally been no so strict to keep track). When I said we can discuss that tomorrow she sent back a rude text that she’s entitled to sick leave and paid. I didn’t respond because I know she sick and probably feeling well. My issue is not with the leave but her overall attitude towards me. I would never speak to my boss the way she talks to me! Has anyone had these issues?
She's fed up with you. Seriously. If you are being true when you say you've worked with her for four years and all of the sudden she has a 'tude it's likely that she feels mistreated (or more likely, taken for granted) and the pimple is popping.


First, really vile analogy - the pimple is popping!

Second, the nanny should act like a grown up and address any issue without the ridiculous pouting and bad attitude.

Third, the nanny is an ass for acting "fed up" with OP. After a four year position, she is going to need OP for a reference.
Anonymous
Post 11/27/2017 20:46     Subject: Bully nanny
Anonymous wrote:Ok we have had our nanny for four years and she knows we need her. Both are lawyers and demanding schedules. Lately our nanny has been truly a bully. She comes to work unhappy, makes her breakfast, and doesn’t even try to transition. I spent 10-15 minutes trying to engage in small talk. Today she called in sick - I don’t doubt she’s sick but she’s used all her sick day (we gave 5 days but we have generally been no so strict to keep track). When I said we can discuss that tomorrow she sent back a rude text that she’s entitled to sick leave and paid. I didn’t respond because I know she sick and probably feeling well. My issue is not with the leave but her overall attitude towards me. I would never speak to my boss the way she talks to me! Has anyone had these issues?
She's fed up with you. Seriously. If you are being true when you say you've worked with her for four years and all of the sudden she has a 'tude it's likely that she feels mistreated (or more likely, taken for granted) and the pimple is popping.
Anonymous
Post 11/27/2017 19:41     Subject: Bully nanny
That's not a bully. Why does everything come under bullying? You need to talk to her and tell her that you are not ok with her attitude and schedule. Sounds like you need a new nanny.
Anonymous
Post 11/27/2017 19:34     Subject: Bully nanny
I strongly suspect that your Nanny is currently unhappy in her job & is trying to get you to fire her.

She is acting very passive-aggressively and her behavior toward you, her boss is totally inconsiderate + unprofessional.
She needs to be told that she cannot talk to you in the manner that she did.

You deserve respect.

In all honesty OP.....
I wouldn’t want someone like her caring for my child all day.
Anonymous
Post 11/27/2017 16:13     Subject: Re:Bully nanny
Same as above PP - never with nanny but with other employees. Talk honestly with her when she returns. Ask her - in a kind and understanding voice - if she would like to leave your employ. I have that the best way to open the discussion. And I echo the above PP - make it damn clear that her attitude will no longer be tolerated.
Anonymous
Post 11/27/2017 15:55     Subject: Re:Bully nanny
Never with our nanny but I have certainly had this problem with other employees. You sit them down in a calm moment and explain exactly how you have been feeling and what H/ she did to precipitate those feelings. Generally the employee has some unrelated grievance and it comes out and is resolved. Then I tell him/her to come to me without the attitude next time as a that behavior will not be tolerateded again.

It is pathetic but sometimes you actually have to tell someone how you will and will not be treated.
Anonymous
Post 11/27/2017 15:48     Subject: Bully nanny
Ok we have had our nanny for four years and she knows we need her. Both are lawyers and demanding schedules. Lately our nanny has been truly a bully. She comes to work unhappy, makes her breakfast, and doesn’t even try to transition. I spent 10-15 minutes trying to engage in small talk. Today she called in sick - I don’t doubt she’s sick but she’s used all her sick day (we gave 5 days but we have generally been no so strict to keep track). When I said we can discuss that tomorrow she sent back a rude text that she’s entitled to sick leave and paid. I didn’t respond because I know she sick and probably feeling well. My issue is not with the leave but her overall attitude towards me. I would never speak to my boss the way she talks to me! Has anyone had these issues?