What is an MB and an NK?

Yes, the situation THIS WEEK is crazy, and the MB is probably stressing out too (an overdose of family). As PP poster said, she is probably embarrassed about the missing kid. After the holiday, talk to her.

In contrast to the advice given by some posters, the solution to each and every problem isn't to quit. Think long and hard about leaving a position you otherwise enjoy.

OMG, OP - your MB is completely in the wrong!!! You do not deserve to be treated like this. Please, please - start looking for another position over the long weekend.

I am so sorry this happened to you - you deserve better.

Your MB is 100% wrong and should NOT be allowed to ever speak to you like that. I agree you should write an unemotional email tonight - just the facts and actual quotes from MB and family members - and get it out in the open.

Do not be a punching bag again, OP.

I am an MB and I am also furious on your account.

Anonymous wrote:Calm down and then write an email/text tonight explaining exactly what happened and what you have been going thru including the "focus on your chores" comment from the old bag. Make it as short as possible. DO NOT LET THIS GO.

I would be furious is I were you as well. Special Needs Nannies are a damn hot commodity and if she EVER treats you like this again, I would start looking for another position. OP - with your experience as a SN Nanny to twins - you could write your own ticket. DO NOT put up with disrespectful shit like this from anyone.

This, this this! Do it tonight. Honest to God, OP, I am angry on your behalf! This is unacceptable and do not let it slide.

Calm down and then write an email/text tonight explaining exactly what happened and what you have been going thru including the "focus on your chores" comment from the old bag. Make it as short as possible. DO NOT LET THIS GO.

I would be furious is I were you as well. Special Needs Nannies are a damn hot commodity and if she EVER treats you like this again, I would start looking for another position. OP - with your experience as a SN Nanny to twins - you could write your own ticket. DO NOT put up with disrespectful shit like this from anyone.

Let it go for now, but bring it up after the holiday. And give her a break. There are a ton of people in her house, who are apparently high-maintenance guests, her autistic toddlers are out of their routine so her evenings and overnights arw probably a train wreck and her child was lost. I am sure she was losing it with worry about her kid and embarassment that her neighbor witnessed the whole thing. Bring it up, but have some empathy too. She needs a wake-up call, but she probably needs a stiff drink too.

That really sucks op. After you get back and everyone is gone you should have a discussion with mb. Definitely talk about how this can't happen again. Stand up for yourself

Anonymous wrote:she is likely upset and was just lashing out at you. your job is challenging and you were told not to tag along. she also told you not to intervene unless asked. if she doesn't apologize to you, i would find a new position.

Agree. She is out of line, especially in light of her explicit instructions. After the holiday, I would sit down and recap what happened, including the comments made by her family. Focus on how she made you feel - I felt attacked, I felt upset, I felt undermined - when you talk to her.

she is likely upset and was just lashing out at you. your job is challenging and you were told not to tag along. she also told you not to intervene unless asked. if she doesn't apologize to you, i would find a new position.

Your MomBoss was 100% out of line here OP.

She told you to take a step back while family is visiting, and that you did even though it was no easy task.

Then something goes amiss & she blames you!!
What nerve!!

You definitely need to sit down + have a direct talk w/her about what she told you to do....And how you followed her instructions to a “T.,” yet somehow are being penalized for doing so.
So unfair.

If I were you, I would likely start looking for a new family after the holidays.
One that is fair, kind and most of all respectful to the core.

You didn’t deserve this.

You need to call her up to discuss this and spell out everything you said here. She and the other family members owe you an apology. Next holiday they have guests, you take vacation.

I would absolutely have reiterated that she told me to only intervene when asked. You are NOT to blame!

Ignore the typos/grammar mistakes. Totally livid and oh my phone.

MBs entire family is at NFs house but I was scheduled to work Monday and Tuesday because both bosses are also working. Totally fine. I’m happy to have 3 days off. MB’s entire family (father, mother, grandmother, brother, sisters and two spouses) are staying in the house. That’s 9 adults and two children. MB instructed me to “relax and take a back seat” and to only intervene if her family wants help. My NKs are autistic 2.5-year-old twins. They are High needs children that require constant supervision. They are unpredictable and can have epic meltdowns and become difficult to control. I understand why MB wants me here just Incase her family needs assistance.

Unfortunately her family does not agree. They clearly do not want me here and make me feel so unwelcome and as if I’m intruding on family time. Grandma and Great Grandma complain over and over that they can handle the boys on their own. Yet I can see they are struggling with behaviors and totally throwing the boys off their schedule which is chasing issues. So I’m trying to figure out when I shouldn’t and shouldn’t intervene. Yesterday Grandma snapped at me for trying to calm one of the twins and apparently complained to MB who told me this morning to focus on different tasks (child related) and only intervene if asked. Fine.

Well, this morning 6 out of 8 family members decided they wanted to walk a few blocks down and take the boys to the park. I am told they are going. I offer to go with, and Grandma snaps back I should “focus on my chores”. I’m annoyed but glad I’ll get a few moments of peace.

25 minutes later I get a text from MB saying that one twin is in the neighbors back yard. The neighbor contacted her because he was playing on there swingset. She is angry and tells me to go get him. I dish out of the house toward this house and see half
Of the family clearly looking for my NK. 6 adults and they lose a child. I tell them Mb contacted me and he is in a neighbors yard. I get my NK, all while MBs family is blaming one another for losing him and no one seems to have a straight story of how they lost him. Six adults are with him and when MB gets Home who does she blame?

“When you are here you are in charge. You know how difficult the boys are to take out. What if something happened? What if they got into the road? You know them best and you are responsible.”

Livid.

Do not blame this on me.

You took away my agency and autonomy and literally told me to take a backseat. I am not responsible for babysitting your family. I’m not in a situation to tell them what to do. That’s on you.