Anonymous wrote:Thanks so much for the thoughtful responses.

I forgot to mention that I have a lot of people close to me intertwined with my NF. My husband's lifelong best friend is DB's close cousin, my MILs best friend is DB's mom, we have some mutual friends as well. So I feel like I have to tell them early to make sure they hear it directly from me and not through the grapevine.

Agree.

Anonymous wrote:Wait as long as you can.

This. Go over to the "jobs and career" forum for the same advice.

I told my boss about the baby when I was 13 weeks pregnant. My last day is next week (1 week before due date) and I will be staying home with the baby for about 2 months and will come back to work in February

Congrats. Funny story my former boss was like a sister to me! I told her I wasn't feeling well yada yada...she told me to go upstairs and take a pregnancy test. She was the 1st person that knew I was pregnant lol!

Congratulations OP on your upcoming bundle of joy!

I would let them know prior to their vacation as that will leave them plenty of time to ponder what they want to do.

Also, it would be best for them to hear your baby news from you directly rather than by a mutual friend.

Good luck!

Thanks so much for the thoughtful responses.

I forgot to mention that I have a lot of people close to me intertwined with my NF. My husband's lifelong best friend is DB's close cousin, my MILs best friend is DB's mom, we have some mutual friends as well. So I feel like I have to tell them early to make sure they hear it directly from me and not through the grapevine.

Important info...tell them when you tell these other people that know them. 3 months is pretty normal. Do include your ideal plan for when the baby arrives.

Thanks so much for the thoughtful responses.

I forgot to mention that I have a lot of people close to me intertwined with my NF. My husband's lifelong best friend is DB's close cousin, my MILs best friend is DB's mom, we have some mutual friends as well. So I feel like I have to tell them early to make sure they hear it directly from me and not through the grapevine.

MB here.

I think you should try to think through your ideal scenario first - how long do you hope/plan to work (if able), under what circumstances might you want to retain the job, would you ask them to allow you to come back if you brought your baby - and if they're open to that are you willing to accept a slightly discounted rate, etc...

Know what you want first. Then talk to them. And unless you're planning to stop working soon I would wait to tell them until after the holidays. You want to give them plenty of time to figure out options (and yourself also) but there's no need to do it before the end of the year IMO.

You should also prepare yourself for all scenarios - including one in which they go out and look for a replacement for you sooner than you'd like. If I had a great nanny I'd certainly be open to her bringing her baby to work, but I'd also have a lot of concerns and questions to talk through so the clearer you are about what you want to do the better.

Congrats on the pregnancy!

Take some time to get clear with yourself about what this means for your job. Do you expect to be able and wanting to work up until delivery? Do you expect to need to make any adjustments to your care of the children (depending on ages)? Will you be needing additional time off for appointments? If you do want to come back, how much time would you want off first? Would you adjust your rate down in order to bring your baby or would that not be worth it to you? Would bringing a baby work with the older kids’ schedules and activities?

I think either point is fine to tell them. There honestly isn’t that much to be done at this point for them or you other than to think through your feelings on some of these points and figure out what the future looks like.

OP here. I'm not sure what my plans are because we've never talked about me being pregnant. I would happily work with baby in tow after some leave, but there's no way I'd put my own babe in childcare so i could care for their kids 50 hrs/wk

Wait as long as you can.

Be prepared to be let go immediately. If I were you, I would wait until the first contraction!

What is your plan OP? If you are not sure that you will come back then I would tell them in Dec. Otherwise Jan is fine.

Congrat's.

My first trimester ends Dec 17 which is coincidentally my last day of work until January 3 as NF is going on vacation. When would you tell them? My last day before vacation so they have time to take in the news and talk about how they want to proceed or wait until they get back in the new year?