Let it go, like your boss is not annoyed when you do sometthing he doesnt like

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Sorry for any confusion. There are times when the baby is napping where it's fine if she leaves with the older DS to get outside for a bit. She always texts me ahead of time to confirm it's okay. And if there are times when it's not going to work for my schedule (like today), I'm very clear about it so there isn't confusion about who is in charge or responsible for the baby.

I asked her this evening what happened, and she said she planned on only being outside with DS1 for 5 minutes and then just lost track of time.

She has been a solid caretaker for a couple years so I'm definitely just giving a pass on this. I was admittedly very frustrated when it happened though.

OP that doesn't sound right, or at least it doesn't jibe with your earlier explanation. You said that when you texted her she said "she was not at home". But "outside for 5 minutes" sounds like in the yard.

I think you need to mention this again and say that you need her to ask and get confirmation in the future to avoid this. I am a really relaxed MB but I would not let this one go with no conversation. She didn't even let you know she was leaving? And certainly didn't ask permission? Even after you *specifically* said you could not help out today. Something is not cool. Was she at least profusely sorry that this was her mistake?

If not, I'm kind of wondering what you have let you in the past that you are not telling us. Because if she has always been awesome and now this I would definitely go back to it because this was really different.

OP here.

Sorry for any confusion. There are times when the baby is napping where it's fine if she leaves with the older DS to get outside for a bit. She always texts me ahead of time to confirm it's okay. And if there are times when it's not going to work for my schedule (like today), I'm very clear about it so there isn't confusion about who is in charge or responsible for the baby.

I asked her this evening what happened, and she said she planned on only being outside with DS1 for 5 minutes and then just lost track of time.

She has been a solid caretaker for a couple years so I'm definitely just giving a pass on this. I was admittedly very frustrated when it happened though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you not talking to her?

I'm guessing she had a brain fart. It happens.

What? No. As a nanny, acceptable “brain farts” include forgetting to rotate the laundry or leaving the milk out. They do not include forgetting THE HUMAN CHILD YOU ARE CARING FOR!!!

OP, my first thought is that this is probably NOT the first time she has done something like this, just the first time she was caught. I would be having a bery serious conversation about what her job entails (supervising and caring for TWO children).

—Nanny

And I think nanny just forgot to tell mom she was heading out, but knew mom was there to get the baby.

But OP says that she is never in charge of the baby, but that she has in fact carefully set up their day to be as separate ad possible. If your nanny regularly leaves the baby in your care and you know about it then I think you just need to remind her that she must always ask permission rather than assuming and that of course you need to know when you are reaponsible for the baby.

But it read to me like OP is not in charge of the baby and that there is not a history of that. OP, can you clarify?

I’m with the PP who suspects this probably has happened before but this time the kid woke up earlier than expected and she wasn’t back yet. Definitely worth talking to her about. You sound like a good boss.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you not talking to her?

I'm guessing she had a brain fart. It happens.

What? No. As a nanny, acceptable “brain farts” include forgetting to rotate the laundry or leaving the milk out. They do not include forgetting THE HUMAN CHILD YOU ARE CARING FOR!!!

OP, my first thought is that this is probably NOT the first time she has done something like this, just the first time she was caught. I would be having a bery serious conversation about what her job entails (supervising and caring for TWO children).

—Nanny

And I think nanny just forgot to tell mom she was heading out, but knew mom was there to get the baby.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you not talking to her?

I'm guessing she had a brain fart. It happens.

She left with the kids before I got off the conference call so I couldn't talk to her about it.

I also try to wait a bit before I bring things up w/ her as I don't want to be a nag. I try to only bring up big stuff. Trying to figure out where this falls.

I meant, why aren't you talking to her about it NOW. If she has never done this before, then it just deserves a polite reminder about the Monday schedule. That's it.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you not talking to her?

I'm guessing she had a brain fart. It happens.

What? No. As a nanny, acceptable “brain farts” include forgetting to rotate the laundry or leaving the milk out. They do not include forgetting THE HUMAN CHILD YOU ARE CARING FOR!!!

OP, my first thought is that this is probably NOT the first time she has done something like this, just the first time she was caught. I would be having a bery serious conversation about what her job entails (supervising and caring for TWO children).

—Nanny

That is insane! I have worked with work at hoenparents for many years and would never dream of such behavior. Definitely talk with your nanny.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I hope she quits.

So you think that because I am annoyed at this -- even though I haven't said anything -- that is grounds for the nanny to quit.

I'm not sure I'm following.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you not talking to her?

I'm guessing she had a brain fart. It happens.

She left with the kids before I got off the conference call so I couldn't talk to her about it.

I also try to wait a bit before I bring things up w/ her as I don't want to be a nag. I try to only bring up big stuff. Trying to figure out where this falls.

Yes. I hope she quits.

TALK TO YOUR NANNY.

Why are you not talking to her?

I'm guessing she had a brain fart. It happens.

Our nanny has been with us a long time, and today she did something that just made no sense to me at all.

I WAH, and have 2 hours of conference calls with clients every Monday afternoon. We both try very hard to keep my work completely separate from her work (separate floors, I don't intervene when there's crying etc) but I'm also very clear when I absolutely cannot be interrupted.

So this afternoon, she put DS2 down for a nap and left the house with DS1. She did not tell me she was leaving, and when DS1 woke up she was not here to get him. I was on my conference call and listened to DS2 scream for 10 straight minutes before texting her to see if she was going to get him, and she said she was not at home.

She returned within 5 minutes, but she put me in a bad situation where I was supposed to be responsible for and monitoring DS2 during a time when I was working AND she didn't tell me! She has never done something like this before, so it's not like I'm going to fire her, but I am baffled why she thought this was ok.

Am I overreacting?