Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stopped being this little guy's nanny about a month ago. I've seen him once since then and stayed for four hours at the mother's request. Today I am going over and don't know how long to stay. He is with his new nanny today. I will probably visit every three weeks in the future, too. How long should I stay?

Thanks.

Leave it! This is not enough time for the new nanny to bond. You are no longer his nanny and you ate doing damage to the new nanny. If you must visit make it for no longer than an hour every three MONTHS!

I am an MB and I disagree completely. You nannies profess to love your charges but then can't be bothered visiting once every three weeks for a few hours? Makes no sense. Our former nanny still sees my son - without pay - and I have so much respect for her for it and respect for her relationship with my son. The new nanny loves it when former nanny comes around as she gets to go do other things (same as when when my mother visits). Maybe our new nanny is just secure in her role as nanny and a lot of you aren't.

TO OP - 2 hours for a visit is great - like a play date!

Anonymous wrote:I stopped being this little guy's nanny about a month ago. I've seen him once since then and stayed for four hours at the mother's request. Today I am going over and don't know how long to stay. He is with his new nanny today. I will probably visit every three weeks in the future, too. How long should I stay?

Thanks.

Leave it! This is not enough time for the new nanny to bond. You are no longer his nanny and you ate doing damage to the new nanny. If you must visit make it for no longer than an hour every three MONTHS!

One hour. And every three weeks is too often.

2 - 2.5 hours is great. It would give the nanny a little break and let you see the child.

I disagree strongly with the other posters - you do not abandon children ever. Phasing out of his life is better for him

I agree to make the visits less often. Do it on a Saturday or something and take them to the zoo or out for ice cream and then done. 1-2 hrs seems about right.

I've been in a situation where the old nanny came to visit and stayed with the family for a few days. It was weird, but because the kids were so little when she left there wasn't an issue with them wanting her or anything. Also, she didn't spend tooo much time at the house. She was visiting mainly because she had another reason to be in the city and it was a free place to stay.

If you visit while the old nanny is there because there's no other time, then make it a brief visit with a specific purpose...go over for 30 min snack time, or have a project to do with the kid in 1 hr or less for example.

I also think you should move on. Seeing the kids every 3 weeks is too often. Once in a while for a special occasion is enough.

-Nanny

Ugh I had an ex nanny like this and it was the worst. I quit after 6 months because i could never bond with the kids due to he ex nanny weekly visits. Move on. You're just making it harder for the kids.

*Nanny

Wow.
A four-hour visit is very long OP!
Why did the Mother insist you stay so long??
Did she leave the house & was expecting a little free babysitting??

Anyway if your former charge will be in the care of his new Nanny today, I wouldn’t recommend you visiting him today.

It could get awkward for the new Nannt.

And the next time you do go to see him, I would say an hour + a half should do.

I stopped being this little guy's nanny about a month ago. I've seen him once since then and stayed for four hours at the mother's request. Today I am going over and don't know how long to stay. He is with his new nanny today. I will probably visit every three weeks in the future, too. How long should I stay?

Thanks.