Happens ALL THE TIME with our nanny. This one time I was standing right next to nanny while she was putting DD's shoes on after a class and this woman says to nanny, "I would pay any amount of money for you".

We truly love our nanny and are good to her as she is amazingly good to us. When we hit the two year mark, we offered her a raise (gave her a raise at one year) - and nanny turned us down! She felt that since we just started picking up her entire healthcare insurance that that was enough for one year. Amazing...

Sounds like the Nanny made up this interaction as a backdoor way of asking for a raise.

What about their interaction in the park makes the poacher even want to poach your nanny? I wouldn't necessarily gravitate to the non-English speaking nanny (and I speak Spanish.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you still pay her well enough, then she'll likely stay. I know from staying in touch with former nannies that it can be a real horror show out there for them. That said, at some point if your pay is way below market, then she'll have to go. That's just the way life is; you'll let her go when you no longer need her as well.

Do you really believe that? I would have to be very, very happy in a job not to at least consider a 50% increase in pay for the same work (of course, she doesn't know the particulars of the other job).

Trust me. The crazy lady trying to pick up a nanny in the park will be a LOT more work.

Anonymous wrote:It's a free country, relatively speaking. Both the other woman and the nanny have every right to talk to each other.

Good point.

It's a free country, relatively speaking. Both the other woman and the nanny have every right to talk to each other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you still pay her well enough, then she'll likely stay. I know from staying in touch with former nannies that it can be a real horror show out there for them. That said, at some point if your pay is way below market, then she'll have to go. That's just the way life is; you'll let her go when you no longer need her as well.

Do you really believe that? I would have to be very, very happy in a job not to at least consider a 50% increase in pay for the same work (of course, she doesn't know the particulars of the other job).

Op here. I agree with you. 50% is a lot. The other job would be for two kids and I only have one. The hours in mine are also chill and flexible, and no weekends. The other job would be more hours (but then, also more money).

I wouldn't stand in my nanny's way if she wanted to leave-I get it. If we could afford it I would pay her more. I will take the suggestion of a pp and tell her again how much we appreciate her and if there are any non-monetary benefits we can offer that we would gladly do so.

I think our pay is competitive for where we live, but not at the very top. Our nanny is phenomenal but a recent immigrant who does not speak English (please don't start-she is here legally). That's how we can afford her. Once she learns English she will be able to command much more than we can pay, I think.

Anonymous wrote:If you still pay her well enough, then she'll likely stay. I know from staying in touch with former nannies that it can be a real horror show out there for them. That said, at some point if your pay is way below market, then she'll have to go. That's just the way life is; you'll let her go when you no longer need her as well.

Do you really believe that? I would have to be very, very happy in a job not to at least consider a 50% increase in pay for the same work (of course, she doesn't know the particulars of the other job).

I'm a MB. This would stress me out enough that I would tell her what you say here: you love her, you hope she never leaves, you're doing as much as you can to keep her happy and you hope she'll let you know if there's a non-monetary perk that would make her even happier, but you will never be able to match that offer in terms of pay.

If you're only anticipating needing a nanny for a couple of years, I think there's a good chance she'll stay. The fact that she actually gave the other lady a number, rather than laughing and saying, "That's so flattering! I'm very happy in my current position," says to me that this might be something that could worm its way into her taking another job.

If you still pay her well enough, then she'll likely stay. I know from staying in touch with former nannies that it can be a real horror show out there for them. That said, at some point if your pay is way below market, then she'll have to go. That's just the way life is; you'll let her go when you no longer need her as well.

Op here. That did occur to me. But she's a pretty genuine person and the way she told the story, it felt believable. Regardless the other mom offered 50% more than we pay and it would be impossible to match it. Ultimately if our nanny wants to leave I can't stand in her way.

That's right. If it's only about the money, she will leave at some point. If she is happy with the nontangibles/cares for your children/gets on with you, her current job will mean more to her than a paycheck. Just as with your job, more $$$ is good (& important!) but the working conditions matter too.

Nanny here - People try to peach me all.the.time. I'm paid very well but families in this area can afford to pay more. But I've stayed for 6 years because even if I could make more I like my job. The parents work and I don't have to deal with SAHM or WAHM parents, no micro managing, nojobcreep, the kids behave and I have full freedom to do what I want with the kids. Parents still say thank you every day after all these years. I could make more elsewhere but the job here is better so I stay.

Anonymous wrote:Did you see this happen.

Maybe she made up the story.... her way of asking for a raise?

Op here. That did occur to me. But she's a pretty genuine person and the way she told the story, it felt believable. Regardless the other mom offered 50% more than we pay and it would be impossible to match it. Ultimately if our nanny wants to leave I can't stand in her way.

Did you see this happen.

Maybe she made up the story.... her way of asking for a raise?

I have the world's best nanny. She was at the park with DD today and another mom asked for her info and how much she is paid, and said she'd pay more.

I know in some ways it's a compliment and our nanny isn't looking to leave us (she was laughing at the story and assures me she's happy) but it makes me so stressed because we are already paying her at the absolute top of our budget. We try to offer as many other benefits as we can (flexiblility, freedom, putting her on all our memberships, she can do her laundry at our house, we don't micromanage, etc. etc.). But we can't go much higher (I've already been saving and scrimping to make sure she gets a good Christmas bonus, but can't give her another raise-we've already given two this year).

This is turning into more of a vent than a question. Has anyone else been through this?