Anonymous wrote:
Maybe the mom was there on that day because it was your first time there and she wanted to get to know you?
Maybe next time you will be alone with the kids?



Op here. No and that doesn't even matter. The job was a nightmare. I would never work for them again.

And the great thing is that you don't have to and since it was a one off thing, it's easy to avoid.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the mom was there on that day because it was your first time there and she wanted to get to know you?
Maybe next time you will be alone with the kids?

Op here. No and that doesn't even matter. The job was a nightmare. I would never work for them again.

Maybe the mom was there on that day because it was your first time there and she wanted to get to know you?
Maybe next time you will be alone with the kids?

Anonymous wrote:Obviously tell her that you are unavailable and move on, nothing to over analyze there. But... Why was the nanny left in the porch when you were there to care for the baby?

Op here. I was not there when this situation occurred. This happened weeks before I ever met them. We were talking about how the baby has such a good temperament, and then she told me that story. She was home alone with her kids.

Obviously tell her that you are unavailable and move on, nothing to over analyze there. But... Why was the nanny left in the porch when you were there to care for the baby?

MB here. I agree - just say that you're not able to make a standing commitment, and then be unavailable if/when they call again.

If your regular family asks don't make a big thing of it - just say something like your schedule just didn't work with what they wanted, or even "I so appreciate the referral, and welcome others if anyone asks you, but I also like to be able to work long-term with a handful of families that feel like a good fit personally and this family wasn't that for me." That way you let your current family know you still welcome referrals, you sort of flatter them, and you also let them (appropriately) know that maybe that family wasn't too great to work for.

And I agree that the mother in your nightmare was awful!!

I refer our sitters to people all the time. Some I know better than others. If they're a nightmare to sit for, I would hope the sitters would turn them down!

I even have good friends who treat sitters in ways I think are ridiculous (paying in 10-minute increments, always asking for a lower rate, refusing to provide dinner). The only reason I know this is that it's come out over the years; I would otherwise have no idea that these otherwise reasonable and lovely people are so weird about babysitters.

I agree with the PPs that you should just say you're unavailable, but also wanted to add as an MB that if my regular date night sitter told me she turned down a family I referred to her, it would not phase me, whatever her reasons.

I referred a then good friend of mine to my regular date night sitter a year ago. This friend took advantage of the sitter; after the sitter started work her first day, she told her she wanted to cut her rate FOR THAT DAY because another sitter was willing to work for that amount (the sitter said no). Multiple times, they would arrange for the sitter to come at x time, but if the baby were still sleeping, the friend would tell her to come later when the baby was awake and not pay the sitter for that time. Sitter put up with it for a few weeks then told the friend that she was no longer available. When the sitter told me all of this, I was completely shocked as this friend always seemed like a nice person and apologized for having made the introduction. This is going to sound overly dramatic, but this was actually the start of the end of our friendship. I was thoroughly disgusted by her actions and started seeing her true colors. We're no longer friends, but we still have our great sitter!

Wow OP!!

This gig sounds like the ultimate nightmare!!!!

Just tell this new family what the other PPs said.

Be unavailable from now on.

VERY unavailable.

Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:You simply say that you are unavailable. There is no need for you to give a reason.

This.

You simply say that you are unavailable. There is no need for you to give a reason.

Sorry for typo. Iphone sucks for writing on a forum.

I babysat today which turned out to be terrible. I was recommended to this family by a regular date night sitting family. They asked to make it a regular thing but no way I will agree to it. How do I let them down and keep the peace.

The reasons it was a terrible babysitting job

- I was supposed to care for 4 month old in home, or so I thought. I found out when I got there that I was going along with the mom and two toddlers to watch the baby. Not a big deal but I wush I knew this upfront. She said she told me but she didn't.

- She is an unsafe driver. She nearly ran to red lights and while driving done sides streets, pulled out into a main intersection with traffic on both sides, forcing other drives to blow their horns and break. She then decided to drive in the incoming traffic lane on a side street, and only moved because there was an incoming car.

- She laughed ( doesn't speak that well in English) about how a neighbor or stranger rang her doorbell to tell her she left her 4 month old sitting on their porch. He was out there for a good amount of time. She didn't notice because she was tending to the older children and he's quiet. This really mad me mad.

- She bought ready to feed formula because it's " convenient" but her baby hates it. We drive home to get it but she decides to drive to the next class to not be late, while he screams for almost 30 minutes.

- She bought pizza for much and the toddlers ( I had to sit in the back to feed them) threw all of the toppings everywhere. They made a huge mess which she thought was funny.

- We go to the zoo. I figured at least I can see some sights. She buys me a ticket but stuffs me in a room no bigger than a bathroom for 3 hours with the baby. She neglects to tell me it's a private breastfeeding room, which I felt terrible. She also neglects to tell me that the exhibit he room is in closes 30 minutes earlier than the zoo. I call to tell her and her phone is dead. It was dead for over an hour.

- The hours were 8 - 6. She tells me we will leave the zoo at 6 ( 45 minutes away from the city). I tell her I leave her place are 6, but the zoo. She should have asked for 8-7, not 8-6. She did drive me home which was nice.


It's not a good fit and I don't ever want to babysit for them again. How can I turn them down without upsetting my regular babysitting family?