Anonymous wrote:It surprises me that she thought this would be acceptable. Does she know you hired a replacement? Almost always (in all the families I have worked for), the parents take vacation to cover me and switching last minute would likely not be a problem. But I would always offer to work instead of using my vacation, not assume.

I think how you handle this should also reflect your feelings about her. Does she always go above and beyond or do the bare minimum? Do you feel that she is an asset to your family? You may offer to split the difference this one time and explain that in the future you will not likely be able to cover last minute changes. Or you can do as PP recommended and offer her to use the vacation time as planned or take the time off unpaid.

She does know that I hired a replacement. Normally we'd just take vacation days too, but I used all my vacation days for maternity leave earlier this year and so did DH. We each barely have a week left and are trying to save it for the holidays.

We do have a great relationship, and she's been with us almost 3 years.

I've decided to just eat the cost and let it go. I think she knows that I am frustrated because of how surprised I was this morning when she told me she canceled. So I doubt it'll happen again.

It surprises me that she thought this would be acceptable. Does she know you hired a replacement? Almost always (in all the families I have worked for), the parents take vacation to cover me and switching last minute would likely not be a problem. But I would always offer to work instead of using my vacation, not assume.

I think how you handle this should also reflect your feelings about her. Does she always go above and beyond or do the bare minimum? Do you feel that she is an asset to your family? You may offer to split the difference this one time and explain that in the future you will not likely be able to cover last minute changes. Or you can do as PP recommended and offer her to use the vacation time as planned or take the time off unpaid.

She gave you very short notice OP, so she shouldn't expect to be paid for the days off.

If she wants to utilize them as vacation days, paid sick days or paid time off, then that is her prerogative.
But considering you already booked a backup caregiver, you shouldn't be expected to pay your current Nanny a penny.

If she feels this is wrong, then she is being immature + greedy.

Hopefully she will understand and get some good rest over the holiday weekend.

I am a nanny and generally always side with nannies but you are right to dock her vacation for this. She told you when she wanted off and you made arrangements to cover her - she has to take the time off as part of her vacation time as previously agreed.

I would simply explain that you already hired a replacement for those days and canceling would be burning a bridge. You might ask her whether she'd prefer to take the two days this week as unpaid leave (so she can stay in town and try to find another babysitting job or something during those days) or she can of course take them as paid days and she can take two unpaid days later for a beach trip.

I wouldn't be ok with her just getting an extra 2 days off and paid for. Plus paying for back up care possibly twice. I would tell her no she can't have another 2 days off unless she already had those extra days.

Anonymous wrote:Nanny had scheduled a beach trip for this week, starting on Thursday. She checked the weather last night and it looked like it was going to be a rainy weekend, so she told me today she's not going and is going to find another weekend.

I have already booked another caregiver to cover her time off, and she's already come over to meet the kids, etc. I'm sure she turned down other jobs to keep these days free.

I'm leaning towards just telling my nanny to take the days off anyway, and eating the cost of having this other sitter come for 2 days.

Is that the right thing to do here?

This is a tough one. You definitely don't want to cancel on a back-up caregiver the first time you've booked her!

In many jobs, it's no big deal to cancel leave and go to work instead. In a job where someone has been hired to fill in for you, though, you might not be able to. She doesn't have to go to the beach, but she can't cancel her leave either. Maybe she can find somewhere else to go. You should not be on the hook to pay two people for one job AND still owe your nanny those vacation days.

If you feel like this is not something she will understand without an explanation, and she will resent you forever for "forcing" her to use her paid time off, then you need to explain to her that in the future, once she has decided on leave, it's on the calendar. You won't change it within 30 days or two weeks or whatever your rule is about asking for time off. Whatever the minimum amount of time ahead she's supposed to tell you about her leave, that's the last day she can change or cancel it.

Assuming Thurs and Fri are part of her AL days that she is taking then you still pay her and she still takes off.
I dont think its wrong for her to ask to work but I think you are within your rights to say No, you have made other plans now, thinking she would be off.

Nanny had scheduled a beach trip for this week, starting on Thursday. She checked the weather last night and it looked like it was going to be a rainy weekend, so she told me today she's not going and is going to find another weekend.

I have already booked another caregiver to cover her time off, and she's already come over to meet the kids, etc. I'm sure she turned down other jobs to keep these days free.

I'm leaning towards just telling my nanny to take the days off anyway, and eating the cost of having this other sitter come for 2 days.

Is that the right thing to do here?