Just ask.

If your employer answers in a sane and respectful way make a decision on whether you should stay or quit or not.
If your employer explodes and goes B.S Crazy then walk out and never return.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is decisive evidence that she's tracking you with a device. Based on your account of your text message system, she likely was waiting for your "home safe" text and was alarmed when she didn't get it when she anticipated it.

I'm not saying that level of tracking is normal or healthy for you or mom, but I don't think this is a situation where she would have only known that you stopped if she were tracking you.

FWIW, it does sound like mom has PPD or PPA. I am sure it's no picnic to work with someone with that level of anxiety, but my heart also goes out to her. It's tough.

I thought of that, but the location where we were going to is 15 minutes away. I stopped on the way, which meant I took a slight detour but her text was about 10 minutes after we left and I texted that we were leaving. It was several minutes after I made a turn that wasn't our "norm".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an experience nanny you should have known at interview that first time parents and cameras in the home would add up to micromanaging. This is what happens when nannies take jobs solely because of money when they are clearly not a good match with the fam. Your best match is a job similar to your first one with more autonomy and trust from the family.

I'm starting to realize this isn't a good match and I'm not happy. I keep comparing this family to my old family, and I feel like that's not fair either.

It is what I want in many ways. Infant, I can go on outings, decent pay and good benefits, and no house work. I'm afraid I won't find something that's perfect.

So you need to decide what is more important to you. Of course you won't find something perfect. And it's early on. But if you feel that when enough time has gone by and you have proved yourself and still don't feel like they trust you that might be a deal breaker. You sound smart. Put feelers out in terms of a job search but don't rule out sitting down and talking with them. Don't ask outright if they put a tracker in your car. Approach it more generally-"I notice you seem to be concerned about where we are going and when. How would you like me to inform of our outings? Do you need a text every time we arrive and depart a said location?" See where that takes you. Be professional.

I don't think this is decisive evidence that she's tracking you with a device. Based on your account of your text message system, she likely was waiting for your "home safe" text and was alarmed when she didn't get it when she anticipated it.

I'm not saying that level of tracking is normal or healthy for you or mom, but I don't think this is a situation where she would have only known that you stopped if she were tracking you.

FWIW, it does sound like mom has PPD or PPA. I am sure it's no picnic to work with someone with that level of anxiety, but my heart also goes out to her. It's tough.

Anonymous wrote:Are you using your car or the NF car?

If it's yours, I would look for the tracker and remove it. That would violation of my privacy since I wouldn't want them to track my car when I'm not at work and doing that without my knowledge is pretty crappy.
If it's the family's car, I guess there not much you can do about that. They have a right to track their car.

If they really put a tracker in your private car, I would probably leave that job as soon as possible. I don't think that kind of breach in trust can be worked through.

Mine. I looked, it may be in the diaper bag?

Anonymous wrote:Are you using your car or the NF car?

If it's yours, I would look for the tracker and remove it. That would violation of my privacy since I wouldn't want them to track my car when I'm not at work and doing that without my knowledge is pretty crappy.
If it's the family's car, I guess there not much you can do about that. They have a right to track their car.

If they really put a tracker in your private car, I would probably leave that job as soon as possible. I don't think that kind of breach in trust can be worked through.

Agree -- it's really important information whether it's your car or theirs. If it's yours, this is not just over the line, it's almost certainly illegal. If it's theirs, it might have nothing to do with you, though it's admittedly creepy that they use it for the purpose of stalking you without letting you know that. We have Onstar on one of our cars that we can track online; I occasionally use it to see if DH has left work for planning purposes. On our other car, we have a "tile." We can actually also track that online pretty easily, but not enough to know if you stopped somewhere on your way... just if our car was somewhere it wildly wasn't supposed to be. That's only in there in case our car got stolen or towed or something and we had to find it; it's not a nice enough car to warrant paying for Onstar.

Anonymous wrote:Are you using your car or the NF car?

If it's yours, I would look for the tracker and remove it. That would violation of my privacy since I wouldn't want them to track my car when I'm not at work and doing that without my knowledge is pretty crappy.
If it's the family's car, I guess there not much you can do about that. They have a right to track their car.

If they really put a tracker in your private car, I would probably leave that job as soon as possible. I don't think that kind of breach in trust can be worked through.

They may have put it on the car seat. That's what I would do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an experience nanny you should have known at interview that first time parents and cameras in the home would add up to micromanaging. This is what happens when nannies take jobs solely because of money when they are clearly not a good match with the fam. Your best match is a job similar to your first one with more autonomy and trust from the family.

I'm starting to realize this isn't a good match and I'm not happy. I keep comparing this family to my old family, and I feel like that's not fair either.

It is what I want in many ways. Infant, I can go on outings, decent pay and good benefits, and no house work. I'm afraid I won't find something that's perfect.

I am glad you see what isn't working out. I would sign up with a few agencies that let you negotiate your own salary with the family and go on some interviews on weekend until you find what you like.

Are you using your car or the NF car?

If it's yours, I would look for the tracker and remove it. That would violation of my privacy since I wouldn't want them to track my car when I'm not at work and doing that without my knowledge is pretty crappy.
If it's the family's car, I guess there not much you can do about that. They have a right to track their car.

If they really put a tracker in your private car, I would probably leave that job as soon as possible. I don't think that kind of breach in trust can be worked through.

Anonymous wrote:Have you expressed this with the parents?

I plan on addressing a lot at my 90 day. But I want to have a few jobs lined up just jncase they let me go. They seem the type.

Anonymous wrote:As an experience nanny you should have known at interview that first time parents and cameras in the home would add up to micromanaging. This is what happens when nannies take jobs solely because of money when they are clearly not a good match with the fam. Your best match is a job similar to your first one with more autonomy and trust from the family.

I'm starting to realize this isn't a good match and I'm not happy. I keep comparing this family to my old family, and I feel like that's not fair either.

It is what I want in many ways. Infant, I can go on outings, decent pay and good benefits, and no house work. I'm afraid I won't find something that's perfect.

As an experience nanny you should have known at interview that first time parents and cameras in the home would add up to micromanaging. This is what happens when nannies take jobs solely because of money when they are clearly not a good match with the fam. Your best match is a job similar to your first one with more autonomy and trust from the family.

I couldnt work for people like that

Have you expressed this with the parents?

I've been with this family for 3 months. They are nice enough but super high strung. I'm not use to how much reassurance I have to give MB about everything. I can't tell if she has PDD or if it's just her personality. There are cameras everywhere, supposedly for security but I'm no idiot. That's fine. I've worked with cameras. I have nothing to hide but I don't like being micromanaged from afar. I can tell often they'll watch me because they'll make comments about things I've done with the baby. Not scolding, but things they could have only known we did if they were watching. It's annoying, but not a deal breaker.

However, yesterday I realize I'm being tracked. When I leave with the baby I text before we leave, when we arrive and the same on the way back. I stopped by the store to grab some Advil and she immediately texts "Did you make a stop on the way?"

I replied that I was at the store and getting some medication. She said, "oh ok, let me know when you are at [location]."

I'm not ok with being tracked. I feel like I'm being babysat. I know many first time moms are neurotic and overstep but not being stalked.


My last NF was amazing, I could have taken their newborns across state lines and as long as I was back by 6 and they were well they wouldn't care. I know that's not the norm, but I miss feeling trusted and having some agency.