I think a nanny and grandma working together is a bad idea. First, is grandma going to have that "these are my grandchildren, so I know what's best" attitude? Working alongside someone who is related to the charge can be challenging. Maybe have a part time nanny who can relief grandma a specific time each day.

As for pay, you still shouldn't pay less than $25 hour for 3 children, with benefits (2 weeks vacation, 5 sick/personal and holidays can be optional). In a nanny share, the family that has 2 children should pay 60% and they family with 1 child should pay 40%. Although you don't need care for 1 day per week, you should still pay. You're already only paying 40% and plus, that's family, help out!

OP here -

It's come to my attention that we are actually seeking a "mother's helper" type of situation instead of a nanny. Thank you for all of your advice.

Anonymous wrote:Could Grandma take each kid one day a week at her house, maybe the 3 year old (since they're bonded) two days? That way the nanny just has 2 kids each day, and everyone gets special Grandma time, but Grandma and Nanny have some autonomy.

This is a fantastic idea!

How much are you offering in pay and benifits for this?

Could Grandma take each kid one day a week at her house, maybe the 3 year old (since they're bonded) two days? That way the nanny just has 2 kids each day, and everyone gets special Grandma time, but Grandma and Nanny have some autonomy.

Oh my God - I cannot imagine ANY good nanny taking that job! Holy hell, OP - what are you thinking?!

shjenk wrote:Grandma would be the primary caregiver of the 3 year old while the nanny takes care of the babies, which will be six months and three months at the time. We just want the three year old to respect the nanny and feel comfortable with that person when Grandma isn't around. Frankly, I am not comfortable with the notion that one nanny or person can handle all three and provide adequate care. As far as roles are concerned, Grandma has always followed the directions of the parents and that would continue along side the nanny. She just wants to be near her grandchildren - she's frankly really the most trusted person we would ever find, but also at this point will be 73 years old. Handling two kids in carriers plus a three year old is hard enough for someone who is 25.

Is there some particular reason why you think the three-year-old would not be comfortable with and otherwise attentive and experienced caregiver? Has the three-year-old never been with a babysitter other than grandma? If your goal here is simply to get a nanny for the two infants and to also have the three-year-old comfortable with that nanny, a better way to do that would be to have the nanny share at whichever home the three-year-old is not usually at and to ask the nanny to babysit occasionally during the evening for the three-year-old and the baby. Most normal (meaning no special needs that cause them to rely more than usual on routine and familiarity and no emotional or social problems that would make it difficult for them to function with a new person) three yos I can pretty quickly bond with a new person, or certainly could at least deal with having a different person care for them, even if it was not their favorite thing. As a nanny who has done multiple sets of twins, including big kids and twins, it is certainly possible. But if three-year-old is already happy with grandma, and grandma is happy to continue caring for her, I would simply let the two of them continue with their routine, and once the babies are at an age where they are less physically demanding grandma can spend more time in charge of them.

A grandparent involved nanny share sound nightmarish unless the hours are awesome and the pay excellent

Grandma would be the primary caregiver of the 3 year old while the nanny takes care of the babies, which will be six months and three months at the time. We just want the three year old to respect the nanny and feel comfortable with that person when Grandma isn't around. Frankly, I am not comfortable with the notion that one nanny or person can handle all three and provide adequate care. As far as roles are concerned, Grandma has always followed the directions of the parents and that would continue along side the nanny. She just wants to be near her grandchildren - she's frankly really the most trusted person we would ever find, but also at this point will be 73 years old. Handling two kids in carriers plus a three year old is hard enough for someone who is 25.

I think you will be hard-pressed to find someone who wants to work alongside a grandparent esp. with loosely-defined roles. If I were you, I would continue to have grandma care for 3yo as always and just do a share for the babies. Maybe do a 4-day share and when your DH is home grandma can do one baby and the 3yo.

When the babies are 1, reevaluate. At that point they should be STTN, on a good nap schedule and be eating solids. 3 yo may also be ready for preschool. At that point you can shift to grandma and part-time nanny or grandma and preschool.

OMG, I would run from that nanny job!!

Anonymous wrote:I specialize in twin care and have had one set with an older sibling. I would not take your position for under $25 plus benefits and I would charge more to have to work side by side with grandma all day, and I LOVE working with grandparents, just not every single day. This is very complicated. Why not just hire a nanny for 4 days per week and let grandma take your sister's kids the day your husband takes yours?

You could even have one afternoon a week be a grandma day with nanny and all the kids.

I specialize in twin care and have had one set with an older sibling. I would not take your position for under $25 plus benefits and I would charge more to have to work side by side with grandma all day, and I LOVE working with grandparents, just not every single day. This is very complicated. Why not just hire a nanny for 4 days per week and let grandma take your sister's kids the day your husband takes yours?

Yes, you still pay for the day you are not in the share.

You would have to sit down with Grandma and set in stone exactly what her duties will be and what the nanny's duties will be. I cannot imagine anyone who would want this job for less than $20 an hour.

Honestly, OP, you are in for a world of hurt in this situation. It is a bad idea.

Good afternoon,

My sister and I are setting up a nanny share for our three children in Arlington, VA, but we have a "different" situation than most. There will be three children - my 3 year old niece and two babies (one from my sister and my own). My wonderful mother has been watching my niece for the past two years and wants to continue doing this, but with some help. So it would be the nanny and Grandma watching the kids.

I know the standard rate for single nannies is $17 to $20 an hour, but is there a different rate for nannies who are sharing the workload?

We will be using my sisters house for a "base", but she has more children so how do we divide up the costs? I've seen 60/40 in some places while others argue 1/3 to 2/3. Also, my husband will be taking care of our child one day a week since he is off of work so we only need the nanny 4 days a week. Do I still pay for the day that we are not there?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!