Anonymous wrote:Pass this job over. It's a trial... you didn't like it. Move on.

+1

Another vote for RUN! Nothing is worse that a mother at home to begin with. Then add the child's stress and fear because of a newborn - and a newborn with special needs?!

RUN.

If your "mama is cray cray" meter is going off you are probably right. Trust your abdominal region.

The family just met you. Of course the mom is going to shadow you during a trial period. That's what a trial period is all about. If you want to wow the family and accept the job, don't break a sweat. But if you're sure it's not a fit, move on tomorrow.

Anonymous wrote:I'd talk to mom and offer to take the baby more so she can have some 1-1 time with the toddler.

Run. This will never work out.

I think you should suggest switching off the kids but have it scheduled and when you have the toddler you go out as much as possible. Are you allowed to drive him to places? Ask fi you can take him to a music class or gym place or something.

You'll have to start a routine of outings or playdates with the toddler so you are not in the house as much when the parent is. That is always a distraction.

otherwise, move on to a different job without a parent in the house.

Pass this job over. It's a trial... you didn't like it. Move on.

Run, OP. Seriously. This is not a job that anyone wants. Just tell her you aren't feeling that this is the right fit and take your money and run!!

Or try to take the older one out. 4 days is not a lot of time to figure this out; I suspect mom had no idea how this would go either.

Ask mom what she would like to see happen, and then the two of you work on making that work.

If you're unsure, then ask if you can extend the trial period to 30 days.

I'd talk to mom and offer to take the baby more so she can have some 1-1 time with the toddler.

I have worked alongside Mothers who stay home & these are some of the roughest jobs for me.

A lot of it IS because the comings + goings of the Mother does change the dynamic throughout the day.

Children do in fact act different w/their caregivers when the Mother is around.

It is just not a good dynamic.

I would just let the Mother know kindly after your trial days are complete that you think you would be better matched w/a position where you are completely on your own.

After all, this WAS a trial and you are not obligated to stay on.
Plus it's not like you are leaving anyone High & dry w/no childcare and that they cannot go to work since this Mother doesn't seem to work.

Truly...
No harm, no foul.

Good luck!

Have you bonded with that child?
You need more time to bond, and also do fun stuff that the child likes, or take her outside when you know the mom will be home in a few minutes, distract the child somehow.

Or just tell the mom how hard it is, and you'd like some suggestion as you'd like to make it work.

I have been working this week (Monday-Thursday) as a trial week and I don't think this will work out. The parents are really nice but when I was hired the mom said it was to watch her eldest daughter while she took her 5 month old (with special needs) on walks and doc appointment etc. So far, the mom has been taking the baby out and then coming back only to totally disrupt what's going on with the the toddler. Toddler is fine when she's gone but totally freaks out when she gets home and isn't holding her. So she hired me so that she would have help, but she's always here and it seems like she's not any less overwhelmed than she was before. Advice?