In my experience, paying while you're out of town is the norm. If one of the weeks is of her choosing, then offering it unpaid or on your schedule is not fair. Maybe your nanny needs to work on her negotiation skills, but that is something that most professional nannies would not agree to during the contract phase. I sincerely hope you explained it all upfront. If not, you're in the wrong on that one.

Expecting work from her is acceptable. My employers and I work around each other's schedules on this. If they will be away, I usually leave town for part of that time. I schedule the cleaners, organization and things like pre-return grocery shopping around my own schedule that week. I do it to make things run more smoothly, but I don't think it's 100% mandatory. It just makes things more manageable for me (and them) when the parents and kids return.

Op is a drama queen

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't ask our nanny to do that, OP. Her primary task is to care for and teach our children so when our children aren't there she has no obligations to us. And if you are getting push-back then you should think about whether or not this is a hill you are willing to die on.

It actually IS a hill I will die on. I have had problems with her from the beginning. She is our 2nd nanny - our first nanny is still like a big sister to my 3 year old (she left after two years to get an "office" job). She is a space cadet, can't remember simple things (i.e. please lock deadbolt on front door to prevent 3 year from going outside on her own), and can't seem to find a way to keep the toys organized during the week, can't seem to figure out which are the 13 month old's clothes and which are the 3 year old clothes (I have to move them to the right room regularly). About once a month I re-sort all the toys (we have a bin for legos, bin for the baby toys, bin for blocks, etc). I have not let her go mainly because she was a close friend of my former nanny and I keep hoping she will get it.

And yes - when I gave her our vacation notice about 3 months in advance I said we will be gone for two weeks. You can use your week, or you to do some kid related tasks while we are gone OR you can take it as unpaid (i.e. if she did not want to do the kid tasks and wants to save her week). She opted for not using her vacation and not taking unpaid, so in my mind she agreed to the kid tasks. I have brought it up several times - we have a housekeeper so I am trying to schedule them to work on the same day (only the nanny has a key and alarm code).

Then go ahead, OP. Why are you posting about this? You know she isn't a good nanny so you don't need this silly thing to let her go.

Anonymous wrote:OP you have your answer. Time to find a new nanny.

Yes, good luck!

OP you have your answer. Time to find a new nanny.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't ask our nanny to do that, OP. Her primary task is to care for and teach our children so when our children aren't there she has no obligations to us. And if you are getting push-back then you should think about whether or not this is a hill you are willing to die on.

It actually IS a hill I will die on. I have had problems with her from the beginning. She is our 2nd nanny - our first nanny is still like a big sister to my 3 year old (she left after two years to get an "office" job). She is a space cadet, can't remember simple things (i.e. please lock deadbolt on front door to prevent 3 year from going outside on her own), and can't seem to find a way to keep the toys organized during the week, can't seem to figure out which are the 13 month old's clothes and which are the 3 year old clothes (I have to move them to the right room regularly). About once a month I re-sort all the toys (we have a bin for legos, bin for the baby toys, bin for blocks, etc). I have not let her go mainly because she was a close friend of my former nanny and I keep hoping she will get it.

And yes - when I gave her our vacation notice about 3 months in advance I said we will be gone for two weeks. You can use your week, or you to do some kid related tasks while we are gone OR you can take it as unpaid (i.e. if she did not want to do the kid tasks and wants to save her week). She opted for not using her vacation and not taking unpaid, so in my mind she agreed to the kid tasks. I have brought it up several times - we have a housekeeper so I am trying to schedule them to work on the same day (only the nanny has a key and alarm code).

Sorry you are getting pushback here, OP. This is exactly the kind of thing that separates a mediocre nanny from a true professional. Provided that the tasks you are asking for are child-related things, it is perfectly reasonable. You are paying her to reserve that time for the care and enrichment of your kids. If the kids aren't there, that doesn't mean you can't ask her to use some of the time productively towards that end.

Anonymous wrote:You're right, she's wrong, but good luck getting her to understand that. In the future, discuss this expectation during the job offer phase. Too many nannies expect that family vacations will just be more paid time off for them.

Who choose to travel, the nanny or the family? Exactly, so she has the rights to choose when she wants her vacation week.

I wouldn't ask our nanny to do that, OP. Her primary task is to care for and teach our children so when our children aren't there she has no obligations to us. And if you are getting push-back then you should think about whether or not this is a hill you are willing to die on.

Maybe she really *needs* the time away from your job. Consider that.

You are wrong, OP.
You are not home, the kids are NOT home, so there's no reason she should come to your house.

Nanny here. It is definitely fair and reasonable for you to expect her to come in and do a few kid related tasks while you are out of town. My current nanny family has taken 4 trips this year; three of them were long weekends and I worked until noon on Friday (normal end time is 6pm) and then had Monday off and resumed work on Tuesday morning; one trip was a week long.

Every long weekend they left me with a short list of child related tasks to finish; things like reorganizing the play area in the basement, going through the kids closets and getting out or putting away seasonal clothing, etc. Every time the family left around noon and I was able to complete the tasks and leave between 4 and 5pm, so I still got off a little early for the day, plus I had a nice 3 day weekend ahead of me, which was lovely.

Most of my nanny families who have guaranteed my hours were rather... frugal about their vacations, specifically waiting until I'd decided my week off and coordinating their vacation with mine, or timing their weekend trips with holidays that I already had off with pay. I have been so excited that my current NF actually travels and gives me a little extra paid time off, that I have been more than happy to do a few extra tasks while they're gone.

Having said that, the one thing that does occur to me is this: if you told your nanny "we will be out of town on these dates...." and did not tell her at that same time "while we are gone we will be asking you to work one or two days taking care of things at home...." Because, if nanny was told that you would be gone, but had not specifically been told at the same time that you did still expect her to do some work, I could see that she might be disappointed to find that out later. Maybe her last nanny family traveled often and never asked her to do tasks in their absence. Maybe she made plans of her own for that time, not realizing you'd ask her to do some work.

I'm not saying it was okay for her to assume you didn't expect any work to get done while you're gone, nor does it excuse the push back you describe, but, if that is how it went (she knew the dates you'd be out of town before she knew you still expected her to work a little during that time), then I'd try to talk to her and say something like "I'm sorry we didn't explain to you from the beginning that you are still expected to do some work while we're gone, I can see why that would be disappointing to hear about after you were expecting to have this time off. Ultimately you'll be getting the one week off of our choosing over this trip, but you are also getting extra time off, beyond what we'd agreed to in our contact, because our trip is longer than one week and you have guaranteed hours. Part of having guaranteed hours is providing guaranteed availability during those hours; you are guaranteeing to us that you are available to work during that time. These tasks are ones that need to get done, and are easiest to do when the kids are out of the house, which is why we're asking you to do them at this time. Even if the tasks take you 14 hours (which they probably won't), you're still getting paid for 26 other hours that week that you won't be working, on top of the 40 hours paid the following week that we will be out of town [or whatever number of hours she usually works in a week]. Part of having a good nanny and nanny family relationship is a little compromise; we're paying you for extra time off beyond what was agreed to in the contract, can you compromise and spend just 2 short days doing these child related tasks in our absence?"

And in the future of course always tell nanny from the very beginning that she is still expected to do some work during your trip.

Now if you DID tell her from square one that you were expecting her to do chores during your trip and she's still "pushing back" honestly I would take it as a sign that she is expecting a lot of you while being generally unwilling to help you out when needed, and that would make me consider looking for another nanny. Good luck!

You're right, she's wrong, but good luck getting her to understand that. In the future, discuss this expectation during the job offer phase. Too many nannies expect that family vacations will just be more paid time off for them.

We pay guaranteed hours, nanny gets two weeks vacation (one week her choosing) and one week of sick leave plus 10 holidays (my employer doesn't follow feds). We will be on vacation for two weeks. I asked her to come a day or two to work on some child related tasks (not a full day probably a max of 6-7 hours total) - boxing up clothes that don't fit, reorganizing the kids toys, etc. I got ALOT of pushback on this. She doesn't want to use her week of leave while we are gone which is fine - she wants to use it later this summer. But I don't think I'm out of line asking her to come in to work some hours when she is getting an extra week of paid time off and most likely we will be taking several other mini long weekend (fri/mon). We left her leave early when we get home early, she gets snow days, etc. FWIW she lives in walking distance.