Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are taking her to her home country for a wedding I assume that means you will meet her family?
I would be inclined to let her have some vacation just to avoid how awkward it would be if you did not and were overseas with her and actually were relying on her for some help. If she was bitter, who knows - she may not get on the return flight with you.

We've already met her family. I do think she'll come back with us because we have another trip in early August that she's excited to join us for, plus we have good relationship and I don't think she'd quit over this.

I'm inclined to let her go but asking her to take her week Thurs-Weds so she's gone over a weekend when she wouldn't be working anyway. That way if she'd be annoyed with me refusing she won't say bad things to the au pairs we are interviewing.

I don't think that counts as a week. Depends on your agency, but a week in my agency is 7 days.

Anonymous wrote:If you are taking her to her home country for a wedding I assume that means you will meet her family?
I would be inclined to let her have some vacation just to avoid how awkward it would be if you did not and were overseas with her and actually were relying on her for some help. If she was bitter, who knows - she may not get on the return flight with you.

We've already met her family. I do think she'll come back with us because we have another trip in early August that she's excited to join us for, plus we have good relationship and I don't think she'd quit over this.

I'm inclined to let her go but asking her to take her week Thurs-Weds so she's gone over a weekend when she wouldn't be working anyway. That way if she'd be annoyed with me refusing she won't say bad things to the au pairs we are interviewing.

That is a good idea. Count her time off while in her home country as vacation.

If you are taking her to her home country for a wedding I assume that means you will meet her family?
I would be inclined to let her have some vacation just to avoid how awkward it would be if you did not and were overseas with her and actually were relying on her for some help. If she was bitter, who knows - she may not get on the return flight with you.

I would say no. From what you have detailed, not only do you not owe this, it sounds like it is really going to put you in a bind.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your mind is pretty set so just say no and be done with it.

I'm not set, and wondered what anyone else would do in this situation.

Doesn't the agency prorate you a credit for that last month?
Are you with an agency that is going to make you pay out her vacation days anyway?

I'd tell her that you need to save your vacation time for her early departure so you can't cover an extra week right now.
We give tons of extra time off, but just rematched and it looked like the AP had had no time off even though she'd had over 3 weeks. So from now on I'm going to let them accrue extra days to be used in their last month, but use official vacation first.

Sounds like your mind is pretty set so just say no and be done with it.

She didn't work while we went away and she had planned to go on vacation with friends but it fell through at the last minute. So yes it was her vacation but she didn't do anything. I don't think the program stipulates that the au pair must take two full weeks off (one week at a time) do they? The long weekends were 4 days each and one three day, she doesn't usually work weekends anyway and I let her off extra for those weekends.

We are all traveling internationally over July 4 and she's coming with us - we are actually going to her home country and she'll be able to visit her family and won't really be working except 2 dinners we have there (one is a wedding but she'll only be babysitting after the kids go to sleep). This trip was planned before she requested to leave early.

She isn't going to be paid after she leaves but I did pay for a year-long au pair but am only getting 11 months and have to hire a new one a year early, so it is costing me more.

I would nicely say no and pay her for one of the weeks she is leaving early.

Anonymous wrote:About a month early. She's supposed to finish September 25 or 26 and she's leaving August 31.

She is not getting paid for the last month where she left, so you can't really hold that against her (you are not paying her right?)

So you gave her one week. And then you took one week off for your vacation and gave her that week. Did you make it clear that this was counting towards her vacation? Because if you didn't, then I would say that in her mind, she probably thinks she is still owed vacation.

Long weekends are nice, but really, that's a little cheap to count those IMO. (may not seem fair, but tons of families never work their au Pairs weekends, so she is likely comparing herself to others with better situations).

End of June absolutely SUCKS for AP to take a vacation. I completely agree with you. It's late in the game and giving you little warning at this point. I think it's fair for you to suggest alternate dates that work better for your family (e.g. 4th of July week where everyone will take Monday 7/3 off anyway?).

Good luck OP. I am not longer in the program and this is one of the little things I don't miss. The bargaining of vacation when you know in your heart of heart that you have already been very generous.

20:06 - Were you clear that her week off while you were on vacation was her vacation too and free to do as she pleases? Did she have any tasks to do during this time?

My answer would be completely determined by how good of an AP she was, how much this would inconvenience me (do I have to take time off to do this) and how clear I was about the prior week off.

Deal-breaker would be me taking time off or having to pay someone else.

About a month early. She's supposed to finish September 25 or 26 and she's leaving August 31.

How early is early?

I'm a sucker and always give the time off (it's so much cheaper to fly back Tuesday morning than in Sunday...). But I think I'd have a firmer backbone if she was bailing on me by only being here 9 months. She knew the schedule when she signed up and she came risking possibly not being able to go back in time.

Our au Pair asked us back in January or February if she could leave her year early in order to be back in her country to start school. We weren't thrilled but I didn't want to be the reason she had to wait a semester or another year to go to college, so we agreed. Now she just asked if she can take a week of vacation next month because she's only taken one week. (Not entirely true, she took a week in January and then had another week off when we were on vacation, plus she's taken several long weekends away so maybe an additional 4 days). I kind of feel that her leaving early should count against her getting more vacation days. I could swing giving her the week off in late June but it isn't ideal and I'll have to cobble together childcare. What would you say in my position? She's a good au pair and my kids like her and she's a decent roommate but not a rockstar. I'm still in matching for her replacement so that's an added level of stress at the moment.