confused why you would expect your au pair to care that you also pay the agency. how does that impact her? they don't see any of that money. they are still receiving $4/hour. would you be okay with being compensated like that at work? what if your boss told you they were actually technically paying you almost double, but that you would never get that money?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 young kids and pay $200/week for what is usuallt 40-45 hours. That doesn't include the upfront costs, cost of her room & board, all the extras we provide and her paid time off. I occasionally give a bonus if the ap is working extra hard or does something extraordinary but considering the horrible stories she tells me about other au pairs she knows she realizes she has a great host family and hasn't ever complained.

Are her au pair friends being taken advantage of?

Yes... host parents leaving them for days at a time with the kids, not giving them their stipend, withholding vacations out of spite, etc. she is also on a bunch of au Pair groups on Facebook and tells me horror stories from those. I'm sure some are embellished but even so, she knows she has a good situation.

Their local AP friends as well as random nannies and babysitters too

Anonymous wrote:But they will all compare stipend amount with local friends and FB groups and some become very resentful.

Do you mean people local to the area? Or other AP?

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 young kids and pay $200/week for what is usuallt 40-45 hours. That doesn't include the upfront costs, cost of her room & board, all the extras we provide and her paid time off. I occasionally give a bonus if the ap is working extra hard or does something extraordinary but considering the horrible stories she tells me about other au pairs she knows she realizes she has a great host family and hasn't ever complained.

Are her au pair friends being taken advantage of?

But they will all compare stipend amount with local friends and FB groups and some become very resentful.

OP here - glad to hear the responses. I just wanted to make sure we were not the odd HF by planning to pay the 200

The first section in our handbook looks like a job contract. It outlines the AP job description, lists her responsibilities, then compensation and benefits. This includes the stipend, agency fees, insurance and maintenance for 3rd car, phone, etc. etc. AP is responsible for personal gas, personal toiletries, junk food, and alcohol not served with meals.
They truly do not know that we pay $150/wk to the agency unless we tell them.

I would gladly divert agency fees to the AP, but I don't think that the program is worth more to me than the current total costs.

I have 3 young kids and pay $200/week for what is usuallt 40-45 hours. That doesn't include the upfront costs, cost of her room & board, all the extras we provide and her paid time off. I occasionally give a bonus if the ap is working extra hard or does something extraordinary but considering the horrible stories she tells me about other au pairs she knows she realizes she has a great host family and hasn't ever complained.

Yep, we only entered program with school age kids and needing split shift 25 hour week, so pay $200. If we maxed out 45 I would pay more for solid AP.

I paid my first AP $250 per week. That was a few years ago. It was because she worked 45 hours every week. Now that my kids are in school full time, and my AP works about 20 hours, I am back to $200.

We don't over more either, generally, although for an excellent AP who is extending we might do so.

Our extras are the same as the PP. These are substantial extras.

We do not offer more. We will host our third AP starting this summer and something I plan to do this time that I haven't done in the past is VERY clearly lay out the finances:

1. What we pay to the agency. The agencies are NOT transparent about HF costs to the agency. Some APs think that we are actually paying them $4 per hour with that stipend and then feel resentful and that we owe more. I have discovered that they are completely clueless about HF side of fees.

2. We barely use 30 hours per week and age will end up getting 5-6 weeks off given my schedule and kids summer time overseas with grandparents.

3. We pay local gas, iPhone, unlimited plan.

4. We pay any meals/tickets for family activities AP chooses to participate.

5. We do NOT pay over the stipend, even on the very rare occasion that we use a 10 hour day or 40 hour week (I can count on one hand the number of times that would ever happen)

Most APs are completely clueless of the above. I have learned this the hard way. This will be one of the very first things I address during training this time around.

Any time I've paid my APs more, they have been surprised and thankful. I've always give 220-240 in the second year if they extend.

I see that several agencies say it is the minimum to pay something just under $196 weekly to the aupair, but also say you can pay more.
Do most families do that? I know many would add funds during trips, or pay for outings with the family or special foods, but do most HF just outright offer a higher stipend?