Anonymous wrote:Not sure where the bitchiness or the confusion comes into play for you pp but thanks for weighing in.

I'm confused that you don't know how to handle this. But whatever, I laid it out for you.

And I was just saying, even if you have to fire her, you don't need to be bitchy to her about it - you can tell her, and then let her say goodbye to the kids so everyone gets some closure.

Not sure where the bitchiness or the confusion comes into play for you pp but thanks for weighing in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop trying to make her open up. Would it make a difference in how it affects YOUR missing work, if she told you what her diagnosis is, and that she needs treatment 1-2 times a month? No. It's none of your business.

Just hire someone else.

OP here. If you need treatment you schedule that at least a few days in advance, so yes it would make a difference because I could arrange backup care for those days. Calling in sick at 7am for an 8am shift leaves us high and dry since most sitters can't come at the last minute like that.

And she has been the only nanny my DC has ever known over 2 years, so I'm also considering how much my child loves her in not wanting to summarily dismiss her.

Your child will be fine. Obviously you'd let her say goodbye to the kids. There's no need to be bitchy about needing to fire someone because they've become unreliable. I am confused as to why you don't just say to her, "We really love the relationship you have with the kids. But we need someone reliable, and calling out an hour before you're expected really leaves us in a bind. Are your sick days a situation where you wake up feeling ill, or are these for doctor appointments, where you could let us know a few days ahead of time, so we could plan to be home? " Then go from there.

Anonymous wrote:Stop trying to make her open up. Would it make a difference in how it affects YOUR missing work, if she told you what her diagnosis is, and that she needs treatment 1-2 times a month? No. It's none of your business.

Just hire someone else.

OP here. If you need treatment you schedule that at least a few days in advance, so yes it would make a difference because I could arrange backup care for those days. Calling in sick at 7am for an 8am shift leaves us high and dry since most sitters can't come at the last minute like that.

And she has been the only nanny my DC has ever known over 2 years, so I'm also considering how much my child loves her in not wanting to summarily dismiss her.

Stop trying to make her open up. Would it make a difference in how it affects YOUR missing work, if she told you what her diagnosis is, and that she needs treatment 1-2 times a month? No. It's none of your business.

Just hire someone else.

It's wonderful that you are such a caring employer OP, but remember that at the end of the day what you need now is a very reliable & dependable provider for your child and as of now, you have possibly put your own job in jeopardy by her monthly time(s) off.

You need to address this issue right now.
Stress to her how much you love + value her caring for your child(ren,) however you simply cannot miss any more work days.

She needs to have the ability to be available more often or as much as you would hate to do so, you will have no choice but to find someone new.

If you show that you are serious and mean business, then she will shape up stat.
And if she doesn't then there wouldn't be anything else you could do on your end.

Good luck.

She is lucky you still love her after all that. I agree that you need to tell her this can't continue. Good on you for trying to find out what is wrong and genuinely caring for her. I hope that care isn't misplaced.

I'd sit down and explain it to her like this:

Nanny, we gave you ten days of PTO in the contract. You've used X sick days and 3 days for your family emergency. Now you only have X paid days off remaining for this year. Please keep in mind that once you have used up your ten days of PTO, all other days you take off this year will be unpaid.

I suspect she'll straighten up a bit after that reality sets in.

I'd be blunt and tell her the time off is affecting your own jobs and you're at the point where you need to consider new childcare arrangements. See what she says and go from there.

Not sure what to do. Our DC's nanny (part of a share) has been taking 1-2 sick days off each month on average the past few months. She had been going to the doctor for tests and has told us everything came back negative. But she is constantly tired. And recently she had a family emergency and we gave her 3 days off for that last minute. All of the time off is paid. She doesn't have sick days in our contract (only 10 days of pto) and her previous share family told us she rarely took them. I feel really bad...we have tried many times to get her to open up to us if anything is wrong. We love her and she has been a great caregiver, but it's affecting our own jobs at this point. Do we talk to her about capping the paid sick days, or try to make her take a week off to regroup, or what?