Nanny here. I found my nanny job via sittercity. One of my pet peeves is people who say, "Oh, I would never hire some random stranger off the internet."

It doesn't work that way at all. At first there are a couple of quick emails exchanged. Then if things look good between both parties, then there are more in-depth emails exchanged. Then phone numbers. Then lengthy interview on the phone. Then if things still look good, then a meeting in person. The meeting in person can happen at a public place without the kids, or in the home with the kids and both parents. Or it can stretch out into an interview first in a public place and then another meeting to meet the rest of the family in the home. Then references are checked.

Then mom has the nanny over to watch the kids for a few hours while she is there. Next is a day where the parent runs some errands for a few hours and leaves the nanny with the kids.

And it still proceeds slowly from there. Few families are going to feel comfortable with the nanny taking the kids out on activities the first few weeks.

Anonymous wrote:I'm an MB. I'd be happy to talk with another parent who is struggling with these issues.

But I'm not going to spend energy w/ someone who has too much time on their hands and is trolling.

+1 How old are you, OP?

That is your perogative but you can't compare the relationship with a nanny and parent to the one between a school worker and parent. Just my opinion.

Anonymous wrote:Difference is a nanny is in your house with just your child/children so of course it is more personal

Okay, true. But I still see our children's nanny as our employee.

Difference is a nanny is in your house with just your child/children so of course it is more personal

Anonymous wrote:But when the trust is finally gained it must make you feel really close to the nanny. You are literally leaving your life (Child) with her.

Not really. This is someone who is an employee. Do you think we feel that grade school teachers are part of our family? When our children go to school their lives are in the hands of school personnel.

I'm an MB. I'd be happy to talk with another parent who is struggling with these issues.

But I'm not going to spend energy w/ someone who has too much time on their hands and is trolling.

But when the trust is finally gained it must make you feel really close to the nanny. You are literally leaving your life (Child) with her.

Anonymous wrote:So it is a slow release thing, trust?

Of course! Which is one reason I don't quite understand the nannies who "don't understand" why NFs would have nanny cams, or would want to know where they are going with the children, or other things that seem intrusive in how they spend their day. The nanny literally holds my most precious, loved belongings in her hands. No matter how good my interview process and due diligence is, it still takes at least a few weeks to really relax.

So it is a slow release thing, trust?

It wasn't in an instant at all. We did a working interview, we had work-from-home neighbors who knew we were hiring a nanny and kept an ear out, we have nanny cams.

When I would take the baby to local stores on the weekends and the owners would come over and say "I saw your baby Thursday with another person, they were laughing so hard together" it builds trust.

It must build up such an unspoken bond once the trust has been established.

Yes, it is a leap of faith. We have employed nannies for almost 7 years. I still feel a deep-down flutter of fear the first time someone new walks/drives off with one of my children.

However, I check references, run background checks, and do my best to get to know people before I hand them keys and a credit card. Most people aren't crooks, you know; they just want to do a good job and stay employed.

Are you a parent about to employ a nanny?

I wonder how you manage it, letting a stranger into your home, trusting them with your most prized possession and trusting them generally in your house.
Is it a leap of faith? Trust is built up over time in most partnerships, with a nannying one, it must have to be instant. I am curious about it all seeing as I have never been an MB.