Anonymous wrote:Daily includes vacuuming and dishes after kids' breakfast, folding their laundry, preparing snack (from a particular shelf in the cabinet of acceptable, healthy options).
Weekly includes cleaning their room and hers, and there are hours on the schedule for this.
On weeks we're we have some extra hours, I might ask her to sort through the toy bins or kids' closets, change out seasonal clothes, etc.
My feeling on "taking advantage" is that every extra thing she does is more time I have with my kids at the end of the day, which is the whole point of having an au pair.

The "whole point" of the au pair program is a cultural exchange program with some babysitting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Taking advantage" is already the wrong attitude. You're already asking for what is typical.

Taking advantage of what I pay for, not going above and beyond. I think I was clear about that.

These girls are exchange students who babysit. Your attitude is bad given the nature of the program.

Daily includes vacuuming and dishes after kids' breakfast, folding their laundry, preparing snack (from a particular shelf in the cabinet of acceptable, healthy options).
Weekly includes cleaning their room and hers, and there are hours on the schedule for this.
On weeks we're we have some extra hours, I might ask her to sort through the toy bins or kids' closets, change out seasonal clothes, etc.
My feeling on "taking advantage" is that every extra thing she does is more time I have with my kids at the end of the day, which is the whole point of having an au pair.

Anonymous wrote:Unload dishwasher
Kids' laundry
Grocery shop for kids' stuff
Pack lunches
Seasonal cloth shopping (new swimsuits for summer, new gloves for winter)
Pick up any kid related Target items

You can have them cook for the kids, but I've found the APs can't cook particularly well even though they say they do when interviewing.

About cooking- if it's an important task in your family, you have to really interview about it, just like you would for driving. Having a driver's license is not enough. I ask very specific questions about what they like to eat (I don't tolerate restrictions), how often they prepare meals (I look for candidates to feed themselves and others regularly) and how they do it (I put them on the spot asking them the recipe for their favorite dishes). And I am looking for more than just pasta... I look for people who have a passion for eating and making good an healthy food. Candidates who tell me they like to 'bake' when I ask what they can 'cook' don't make the cut. Just like anything else, just asking 'can you cook' is not enough.

Op here-love the meal prep and arts and crafts ideas-thank you!

Unload dishwasher
Kids' laundry
Grocery shop for kids' stuff
Pack lunches
Seasonal cloth shopping (new swimsuits for summer, new gloves for winter)
Pick up any kid related Target items

You can have them cook for the kids, but I've found the APs can't cook particularly well even though they say they do when interviewing.

Our kids are older and have meal responsibilities. But we ask AP to coordinate and supervise. What it entails is that AP needs to coordinate menus with our 3 tweens/teens and do a little fridge management (i.e.- encourage the kids to use what supplies we have). She is also responsible for going to the store to get missing supplies (with or without the kids, her choice- so she could do during the day if she prefers). She is also supervising meal prep itself. I am mentioning that because it does add some hours to her week of which she has to plan to plan for, and some she can do while the kids are in school.

She is also responsible for one meal per week (we all take rotation, as you can get from our family dynamic). On that night, our APs tend so go all out and go the store to get special supplies and bake something special too.

Overall, we have a list of responsibilities for AP, but we do not dictate when these have to be done (only when they have to be done BY), and we let AP manage her own time. If she prefers to do her chores while our kids are home (they are older as I mentioned, and don't need much constant supervision), that's fine by me.

How old are your kids? Some arts and crafts type activities are more effective with the prep work already done. You could add some research time or provide a book of activities, a trip to Michael's, and then the prep work (pre-cut/organize materials). She could throw these in a shoe box, then have it ready to pull out and work on with the kids.

Anonymous wrote:I know that many families have tight budgets, and want to 'get their money's worth' but remember that this is a cultural exchange program that incorporates child care. You havent hired a nanny/housekeeper. [b]Only tasks that are related to the kids are appropriate.
[/b][b]
That being said, preparing healthy snacks in advance is certainly fine (and actually a good idea). You can also ask her to think about/plan a special outing or activity for each week; clean/organize the kids room (though, personally, I want my tweens to learn to do that themselves, so I ask our au piar to supervise the kids doing this). Can also ask them to go through clothes when changing seasons, etc. But not cleaning organizing the house, or any other general household activities beyond what all family members are expected to pitch in

OMG - this is why I was asking what is appropriate b/c maybe I was missing something. She will not work over 35 hours even with these extra tasks next year so calm down. For me, I like the idea of her keeping the kids rooms organized, but I know it's not really teaching them to be responsible so that's a conunudrum!

Anonymous wrote:"Taking advantage" is already the wrong attitude. You're already asking for what is typical.

Taking advantage of what I pay for, not going above and beyond. I think I was clear about that.

Same boat. Our AP does kid laundry and 1x per week does playroom organization (takes a couple of hours). She also does grocery shopping and a Costco run. She does great with choosing produce, etc but I have to say our first AP would have been incapable of that...she chose incredibly expensive organic items every time we asked her to go to the store and half the time it was under or over ripe, etc. I think some people would be capable of this task but not others...

I know that many families have tight budgets, and want to 'get their money's worth' but remember that this is a cultural exchange program that incorporates child care. You havent hired a nanny/housekeeper. Only tasks that are related to the kids are appropriate.

That being said, preparing healthy snacks in advance is certainly fine (and actually a good idea). You can also ask her to think about/plan a special outing or activity for each week; clean/organize the kids room (though, personally, I want my tweens to learn to do that themselves, so I ask our au piar to supervise the kids doing this). Can also ask them to go through clothes when changing seasons, etc. But not cleaning organizing the house, or any other general household activities beyond what all family members are expected to pitch in

We are in the same boat this year with only needs care about 4 hours a day, maybe 5. We rarely use any of our APs on weekends as we like to be with our children.
This year we are going really expect our AP to actually manage the children's rooms and put stuff away properly. Current AP works maybe 30-35 hours a week and terrible at organizing anything, and does their laundry but does not even try to put the right clothes with the right child. But she is awesome with the kids so we let it go.

This year we are going to add:
1 hour per day while kids are at school to organize their rooms/clothes (should only take 10 minutes if she is current with it) & playroom
1 hour per week to take her car to car wash (that we pay for)
2 hours per week to grocery shop for kids (maybe, will see how this goes)

That should get us close to using AP at 30 hours a week during school. She still has 5 hours a day to kill. We have been screening candidates really into fitness and sports since we provide a gym membership and car for AP that they can join a team or do something fun during the day and do not go insane with boredom.

"Taking advantage" is already the wrong attitude. You're already asking for what is typical.

In the fall our kids will be in school most of the day, and we will use her after school and maybe a little before (I'm not sure of our routine yet). We will not use all of her hours, so I'd like to make sure we are taking advantage of what we get for having an au pair, but within the rules/hours of the program. I'm not talking about having her do our laundry or anything like that. What kind of responsibilities do your au pairs have that have time during the day? This would be part of her scheduled hours, not above the 45 hours. We already have ours do the kids laundry and basic cleaning of their space, but we mostly have her do that with them during her hours so that they learn responsibility too. I was thinking of having her do things like prep healthy food, cut up fruits and veggies, (for their lunches) etc. Is it reasonable for her to have household chores as well? I'd like to have ideas that could make our lives easier within the program.