Anonymous wrote:Hang on here. Are you saying you want to tell your nanny what she can and cannot eat? Are you serious?

Good eating can involve an occasional treat. You have control issues.

No, I am not a nanny.

OP, step away. I think you have control issues if you think you can tell another adult what to eat.

-Not a nanny either.

OP, modeling a healthy diet and lifestyle is a totally valid thing to look for in a nanny. But it has to be a quality she ALREADY possesses. If you hire the kind of nanny who regularly eats junk food, then you can't later try to manage what she eats while your kid is awake. That's too much. You need to decide whether this one issue is worth finding a new nanny over. If you either feel super strongly about this or you have other issues as well, then address this in the interview stage next time. "How do you feel about being a role model for your charges? What steps do you take to be a good example?" "What is your philosophy on food?" And for what it's worth, I am an overweight nanny who takes my charges hiking and outdoors in all weather and feeds them 100% from scratch, whole grain, minimal sugar, etc. So don't bank on the athletic-looking girl to automatically be good in this area.

Anonymous wrote:If this is the worst thing you are worried about, consider yourself very lucky. Sounds like you have way too much time on your hands.

-A MB

Exactly. Grow up, OP.

If this is the worst thing you are worried about, consider yourself very lucky. Sounds like you have way too much time on your hands.

-A MB

Unless you see her eating it in front of your DC, believe her when she says she keeps it out of sight. My nanny drinks a Coke everyday. It helps her get through her low energy period in the early afternoons.

You do not get to tell a grown woman^^

Had a doughnut in my hand while typing. You're right, OP, doughnuts are dangerous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are overstepping your boundaries to be honest. Yes, it's your money, but are you really going to control what another adult eats? If she used her own money would this still bother you? Either way, this isn't a hill I would die on. You could ask her not to eat junk food in front of your child, but be prepared for her to quit. I don't think your child seeing nanny eat a treat once and a while is going to ruin them. Just model and practice healthy eating in the home with your family, that is the most important thing.

This is OP. Yes, it would bother me still if she used her own money. Her job is, among other things, to be a good role model for my kid. She should practice good manners, not swear or be rude, when she's with DD, what she does on her own time is her business. Doesn't same go for eating? I hear other nannies eat meals with their kids to model good eating, it'd be great if she did, too, but I'm not going to force her. It's not reasonable, though, to ask her to not eat doughnuts in front of DD?

You are in be"effing"lievable. You fo not grtbyobtell a grown woman what she is allowed to eat EVER! Personally, I would tell you where to go and quit on the spot.

Hang on here. Are you saying you want to tell your nanny what she can and cannot eat? Are you serious?

Good eating can involve an occasional treat. You have control issues.

No, I am not a nanny.

You are so, so wrong OP. How would you feel if your boss offered to buy you lunch and then made you feel like shit for what you chose to eat?

You sound like your head is so far up your ass regarding "modeling good eating" that you won't get the message anyways. That's your job, not anyone else's. You should see a nanny as a way to introduce diversity and different caregiving styles to your child. You didn't hire her to force her to be like you (I hope...)

I'm overweight but always try to make sure the kids see me eating a variety of fruits and especially vegetables. I think part of my job is to help them enjoy good, whole foods. It's something I've had to learn more as an adult...we ate a fair amount of processed food growing up (but also had a garden so I grew up eating vegetables too.)

I think it's really a fine line though...you don't want to make treats into the forbidden fruit because the forbidden is always the most tantalizing. You don't want them to gorge themselves when they're older because you're not there to stop them and they know they can only have treats when you don't know about it. Kids will figure the need to lie about it and you don't want that either.

My two cents is to tell the nanny you don't want the junk around DD but I also would strongly urge you to allow occasional treats...maybe for holidays or something so it's at least allowed occasionally. PP's have also made a fair point that is't not wise to monitor what another adult eats...do you ever eat or drink something she can't have? Sometimes adults get to do things that kids don't get to do and that's that.

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious?? It's not like she's teaching your child to swear and be rude to other persons. Get over yourself OP, there is nothing wrong with your nanny eating a treat in front of your child every once in a while. you as a parent shouldn't have to worry if you model healthy eating in your home. Sheesh!

OP again. On the one hand, I see complaints on this forum all the time how MB/DBs don't respect their nannies enough given the enormity of their job as caregivers to their precious children. OTOH, an MB asks about nanny being a good role model and nannies jump down my throat that I'm asking too much...?!?

Most nannies are full-time and hours' wise, are the primary caregiver of their charges. Our nanny is part-time and splits DD's waking hours with me on weekdays so after me, she is DD's #2 caregiver. So no, I don't think it's too much to ask that nanny share the responsibility of modeling good eating.

Are you serious?? It's not like she's teaching your child to swear and be rude to other persons. Get over yourself OP, there is nothing wrong with your nanny eating a treat in front of your child every once in a while. you as a parent shouldn't have to worry if you model healthy eating in your home. Sheesh!

Anonymous wrote:I think you are overstepping your boundaries to be honest. Yes, it's your money, but are you really going to control what another adult eats? If she used her own money would this still bother you? Either way, this isn't a hill I would die on. You could ask her not to eat junk food in front of your child, but be prepared for her to quit. I don't think your child seeing nanny eat a treat once and a while is going to ruin them. Just model and practice healthy eating in the home with your family, that is the most important thing.

This is OP. Yes, it would bother me still if she used her own money. Her job is, among other things, to be a good role model for my kid. She should practice good manners, not swear or be rude, when she's with DD, what she does on her own time is her business. Doesn't same go for eating? I hear other nannies eat meals with their kids to model good eating, it'd be great if she did, too, but I'm not going to force her. It's not reasonable, though, to ask her to not eat doughnuts in front of DD?

I think you are overstepping your boundaries to be honest. Yes, it's your money, but are you really going to control what another adult eats? If she used her own money would this still bother you? Either way, this isn't a hill I would die on. You could ask her not to eat junk food in front of your child, but be prepared for her to quit. I don't think your child seeing nanny eat a treat once and a while is going to ruin them. Just model and practice healthy eating in the home with your family, that is the most important thing.

I would like to hear what kind of guidelines nannies set for themselves or MBs/DBs ask of their nannies when it comes to eating around their charge. Our DD is almost 2 and I leave petty cash for the nanny to buy DD something to eat (nanny preps meals, but to give her a break and DD some variety) every once in a while while they are out and she is welcome to buy herself something as well. I just started getting receipts from her and see she buys herself things like a cookie or doughnut. I don't want nanny to eat that kind of junk in front of DD so I asked her about this and she said "oh it's okay, I don't let DD see me eating it." It's not like she can ever leave DD alone while they are out and I'm pretty sure what she means is that when she is feeding DD someplace, she'll angle the stroller in such a way that she can eat out of DD's sightline.

We left it at that and after thinking about this some more, it still bothers me. Kids see and know a lot more than we give them credit for. Even if DD can't see exactly what nanny is eating, DD knows that nanny is eating and hiding it. That can't send a positive message to DD. And even if nanny could somehow completely hide her eating from DD, which she can't (nanny comes during DD's afternoon nap then they are together during DD's waking hours), I just feel like it's not okay to be eating junk while she's with DD, not to mention buying it with petty cash.

I'm also thinking that if she's hungry while she's out, wouldn't it be better if she brought a snack from (our) home? I've told her from the beginning that she is welcome to what's in our pantry and we always have a variety of fresh fruit, breakfast bars, cheese, healthy crackers, etc. And now that DD is older and eating more adult food, they could eat together, which would be good for DD as eating is a social thing. And in case it matters, nanny is part-time from 2-7pm.

As nanny's employer, what can I reasonably say to her about what she eats when she's with DD and how she spends petty cash?