If this is an isolated incident and she otherwise is a top-notch Nanny, then I would let it all go.

It is the parent's responsibility to always have a backup plan in place in case of emergencies.

Not the Nanny's fault for losing her keys.

To err is only human....

I agree she handled this terribly. I also agree that she needs to recognize how serious it is.

I would be hesitant to dock her pay or charge her for the Uber fee because that money is probably nearly meaningless to you in real terms, and is much more than symbolic to her (unless you're the person paying her nanny 100K a year, in which case, dock away).

I like the idea of asking her to make up the hours for the money if you want her to feel the financial pinch, but what I would actually do is sit with her and say,

"Nanny, shit happens. But I am not the person to call for solutions when you lose your keys or have some other problem that will make you late for work. I need to know that you are a responsible, grown woman who can problem-solve on her own. This makes me concerned about what would happen if you got a flat with DC in the car, or lost your keys while out. Would you just sit there until I could answer the phone? I hired you to be the grown up when I can't be here, and this incident shakes my confidence in you.

I would have been much less angry and more impressed if you had called and said you'd be 10-15 minutes late because you lost your keys, looked everywhere for them, and then ordered yourself an Uber and would be here as soon as you could. You've worked for us for 2+ years and have been reliable all that time; I'd have been annoyed because it makes me late, too, but I would have understood because, shit happens.

I'm not going to dock your pay this time, but I considered docking the 45 minutes and charging you the Uber cancellation fee.

I also think we need to talk about how you're feeling about this job. It seems to me that you've had more of these kinds of issues lately, and I'm wondering if you're just not enjoying the job anymore, and what we can do to fix it. I need you hear on time and ready to go every day."

I am a nanny and I would definitely dock her pay for the 45 minutes. Would she charge you for the additional 45 minutes if you were late?

I personally loathe "it's not my fault" and would be irritated if my employer ever repeatedly said that to me when it clearly was both her fault and her responsibility.

The few times our nanny was late, we just adjusted the hours paid (I think I usually took it from vacation). We did the same if we were late (which happened more frequently!) So she was always paid for hours present, rounded up to the quarter hour. The cancellation fee is a bit trickier--no idea how much that is? If not a lot, I'd probably just eat that; if it is enough to be a quarter hour of pay, then just add that on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its mean to dock her for 45 mins. Its not like she was on a beach sipping margaritas.

Bull. It was nanny's fault for being late, despite her saying to the contrary, and OP needs to dock pay so nanny understands there are CONSEQUENCES.

And when OP Is late does she always, or ever, pay OT? Even if she does it doesn't justify docking the nanny's pay. But, hey, OP, dock her pay but don't be surprised when you na by gives you two weeks notice.

She needs to get another set (or two) of keys. I'd suggest that. I tend to switch bags a lot...purse, backpack, bike bag etc and I don't always get *everything* transferred over, so I have several sets of keys in order to avoid the very scenario your nanny was in. To be fair I don't have a car, so I don't have to worry about expensive car keys. When I did have a car with the special key, I had two sets. Without the car, I have four sets. On the rare day I don't get out the door in time to walk or bus, I take uber.

Have an honest conversation with your nanny about her absent mindedness and coming up with some work arounds for things like keys and whatever else she's forgetting. If she's forgetting laundry, have her set her phone to remind her half was through the day...things like that can be helpful.

How old is she? If she's in her 40s or 50s, it could be perimenopause causing the forgetfulness.

Anonymous wrote:I think its mean to dock her for 45 mins. Its not like she was on a beach sipping margaritas.

It's not mean. Part of being an adult with a job is getting there on time and not making your commute your boss's problem. I am not a morning person, yet I have to show up to work every morning. I pack my bag the night before (minus my phone), I lay out my outfit, I prep breakfast and lunch as much as possible. And yes, I CONFIRM MY KEYS ARE WHERE THEY BELONG. Because I am an adult.

Anonymous wrote:I think its mean to dock her for 45 mins. Its not like she was on a beach sipping margaritas.

It's the not fact that she couldn't find her keys that's the biggest issue, it's how she handled it. If you couldn't find your keys would you call your boss and say you can't find your keys and don't know what to do, expecting your boss to figure it out for you or would you figure out another way to get to work as quickly as possible? And if you were 45 mins late would you say it wasn't your fault or would you apologize and say you'll make sure it doesn't happen again. Especially when you know people at work are depending on you to be on time and if you are late it affects a lot of other people.

Anonymous wrote:I think its mean to dock her for 45 mins. Its not like she was on a beach sipping margaritas.

Bull. It was nanny's fault for being late, despite her saying to the contrary, and OP needs to dock pay so nanny understands there are CONSEQUENCES.

I think its mean to dock her for 45 mins. Its not like she was on a beach sipping margaritas.

Anonymous wrote:I think her saying "it's not my fault" was kind of ... almost a figure of speech? Of course she knows it's her fault.

SHE should do the right thing and say "I'm SO sorry I was late. Here's the money for the Uber cancellation fee, and please take an hour off my pay this week to account for my lateness. It won't happen again."

If she doesn't offer up that hour, you say to her "Nanny, I will deduct the Uber cancellation fee from your check this week as well as the 45 minutes you were late. Please make sure this does not happen in the future. I need to know I can count on you."

But if she's worked for you for 3 years leave off the last two lines. Clearly it was a crazy situation and she panicked. Only say the last two lines if she's new.

Thanks! She's not new and has been with us 2 years. She's generally reliable but, as I said, absent-minded, and lately I feel like she's a little less reliable and too comfortable.

I think her saying "it's not my fault" was kind of ... almost a figure of speech? Of course she knows it's her fault.

SHE should do the right thing and say "I'm SO sorry I was late. Here's the money for the Uber cancellation fee, and please take an hour off my pay this week to account for my lateness. It won't happen again."

If she doesn't offer up that hour, you say to her "Nanny, I will deduct the Uber cancellation fee from your check this week as well as the 45 minutes you were late. Please make sure this does not happen in the future. I need to know I can count on you."

But if she's worked for you for 3 years leave off the last two lines. Clearly it was a crazy situation and she panicked. Only say the last two lines if she's new.

Anonymous wrote:I would be pretty upset and would be clear that the expenses of being late will be hers to bear, and that it can't happen again.

It was in fact her fault. I'd be inclined to ask her whose fault it was, if not hers. Yours? Easter Bunny? It's the "not my fault" that would make me insane.

OP here. That's exactly what annoyed me so much. I forgot to add I'm also going to be starting a new job soon and I really can't be late then obviously. To be fair, she's not often late but she is often absent minded which is why it wasn't surprising she couldn't find her car keys. But when it happened she needed to find a way to get here (Uber, taxi, ride from friend - I don't care how) as close to on time as possible without involving me in figuring out her transportation for her. I had my hands full getting myself ready AND my children ready since she wasn't there to do it.

I would be pretty upset and would be clear that the expenses of being late will be hers to bear, and that it can't happen again.

It was in fact her fault. I'd be inclined to ask her whose fault it was, if not hers. Yours? Easter Bunny? It's the "not my fault" that would make me insane.

Our nanny called me at 7:30 this morning (she's supposed to come at 8am) and told me she couldn't find her car keys and didn't know what to do. She kept looking for the keys and I spoke to her again at 7:45, she still couldn't find the keys and still continued saying "I don't know what to do, it's not my fault, I've never done this before" until I finally said "I don't know what you should do but you need to find a way to get here because I can't be late for work." I'm a physician and being late to work means patients who took time off from work to see me end up waiting and waiting for me, they get annoyed and I lose business. Finally she tried to get her sister to get an Uber for her (she doesn't have the Uber app) but her sister was at work and didn't answer the phone. She asked me to do it for her and she'd pay me back (it was rush hour so cost was higher). I did it but just as the Uber came she found her keys and I had to pay a cancellation fee for the Uber (plus I'm not sure if it affects my rating on Uber). She ended up being 45 minutes late to work in which I had to take my oldest to school or he would have been late and then I ended up being 20 minutes late for work. At one point she did apologize and I know she didn't misplace her keys on purpose but I'm annoyed that she kept saying it wasn't her fault instead of apologizing (just because it wasn't on purpose doesn't mean it's not her fault) and couldn't figure out what to do. She's a grown woman with a responsibility to get to work on time and if something happens she needs to take responsibility and figure it out, not call me asking what she should do.

So anyway, my question is about the 45 minutes she was late. Do you count that towards her vacation time? It's hard to count just 45 minutes or do I deduct 45 minutes from her pay this week?