Small kids react better to deflection than anything else. I would definitely say no pinching but I would try to do it in a lighthearted way.

From what I gathered from your post, it seems like she was just playing with him. Children do need to learn the difference. Now, if he starts being aggressive with peers or yourself, I would ask her not to encourage that behavior and set clear expectations on how you would like it handled.

I would also let it go.

Reason being is that there is a difference between him pinching & hitting at his peers vs. how it appears he is playing around w/his Nanny.

If she is outstanding overall, I wouldn't mention this to her.

However if it truly bothers you, the next time you see your son doing this, you can simply let him know that you don't like to see him pinching/hitting other people, etc.

Your Nanny may get the hint + cease the behavior in the future.

I would let it go. She just deflected the issue very well.

Our DS is 2.5 and we've had our nanny for 2 years. We generally love her, but I've seen something twice recently that has annoyed me.

Nanny was holding DS, and DS was pinching her. She was laughing and pretending it was a game, saying "owie!", and he kept pinching. He was laughing along too like it was really funny. A similar situation happened a couple weeks ago while he was trying to hit her. She was sort of dodging it making a game out of it.

It seemed to "work" in that my DS wasn't upset and clearly the nanny didn't seem upset.

But we don't allow DS to hit or pinch. We always hold his arm and tell him "no hitting" and if it continues we put him down and walk away. I don't want him to think that hitting or pinching is a game to play.

I am always REALLY reluctant to bring things up with our nanny because overall she's outstanding, and I generally think it's good that we are different and don't "parent" the exact same way. Not sure if this is worth mentioning though.

Thoughts?