I think it's funny that in the OP you say you have employers who respect you, but then talk about how she's always late.

Tell me again how that's respectful?

I specifically have a nanny because DH and I sometimes get caught at work. We pay overtime when we're late of course, but sometimes at 4:55 our boss says "Oh good, you're still here" and then launches into a 20 minute talk that necessitates 10 minutes of emails I need to send out immediately to get a project rolling so I can work on it that night. Shit happens.

Kids cry. They forgive easily. You should have called that kid's daycare place and told them to tell him you were running late but were on your way. You seem like a drama queen who has unreasonable expectations. When someone is always late, I don't know why you'd count on them to be on time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an MB and I have never once been late.

I am sorry, OP. Your MB was wrong and you have every reason to be upset. Maybe give her another chance? If it happens again, you will know she won't change and then look for another position.

Do you work from home? Or does your commute consist of you walking across the street? How have you NEVER ONCE been late?!? Even if I leave at the exact same time M-F I get home at different times. I try to leave with enough of a cushion so that my nanny can leave at 6, but if there's been an accident or some nonsense downtown, it can take a lot longer to get home, and these aren't always things that I can know of before leaving so as to be able to plan ahead.

My bosses were never late and they commuted back to Fairfax from Potomac. This is because they told me that my hours would be until 6pm and we agreed on a rate going to 6pm. Then they planned on being home at 5.15/5/30 every day. I always felt like i was getting off early. They were never home after 6pm in 7 years.

Anonymous wrote:I am an MB and I have never once been late.

I am sorry, OP. Your MB was wrong and you have every reason to be upset. Maybe give her another chance? If it happens again, you will know she won't change and then look for another position.

Do you work from home? Or does your commute consist of you walking across the street? How have you NEVER ONCE been late?!? Even if I leave at the exact same time M-F I get home at different times. I try to leave with enough of a cushion so that my nanny can leave at 6, but if there's been an accident or some nonsense downtown, it can take a lot longer to get home, and these aren't always things that I can know of before leaving so as to be able to plan ahead.

If she is late that often she should really change your hours and pay you whatever the extra is on a weekly basis.

Does she not get annoyed that you remind her in the morning and then again twice during the day? This would irk me.

Talk to her this evening when you are both calmer and come up with a solution. If she changes your hours to encompass always being late then you may not have the option of getting the other kid. If she says she will keep original hours and will do better not to be late then you need to ask if its ok for you to take her kid to get the other kid if need be.
But a carseat for your car if this is going to be a regular thing. Suppose she got into an accident on the way home, you would have to have both kids then right? so plan for that and get another seat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why have you made it your responsibility to pick up your former charge straight after work?

Im an MB and my boss sometimes needs me to work late to finish a project, sometimes meetings run over, and other days there's heavy traffic. I schedule all my personal things at least 1 hour after my expected knock off time.

Also one the reasons I have a nanny and don't use a daycare is because of this flexibility re time.

I have no issue paying OT but I would find a new nanny if I had this "cannot ever be late on a Wed" hanging over my head.

? You know your child is waiting for you, too. Your self-centered and self-important attitude is doing far more damage to your relationship with your child than it is your nanny.

Huh? You have no idea of my work schedule or my relationship my kids so not sure what makes you qualified to speak on that.

Bottom line yes MB is wrong for being late however OP is being too rigid.

OP just get another job where parents are never late.
And btw MB being late does not mean she doesn't respect you. It's probably beyond her control.

I am an MB and I have never once been late.

I am sorry, OP. Your MB was wrong and you have every reason to be upset. Maybe give her another chance? If it happens again, you will know she won't change and then look for another position.

If you were my nanny and I apologized as profusely as this MB did and you still had an attitude about it, I'd be done with you. It's fine to do what you want during your free time, but as someone who has a job that doesn't always allow me to leave right on the dot, I appreciate the flexibility for my nanny to stay when needed. I do my best if I think I'm going to be late to have my husband get home first or at least warn my nanny, but there have been times when I have been in situations that were outside my control and I was in a meeting and did not have access to my phone. I feel terrible for your other charge, but you need to rethink your ability to commit to something outside your main job.

Anonymous wrote:Why have you made it your responsibility to pick up your former charge straight after work?

Im an MB and my boss sometimes needs me to work late to finish a project, sometimes meetings run over, and other days there's heavy traffic. I schedule all my personal things at least 1 hour after my expected knock off time.

Also one the reasons I have a nanny and don't use a daycare is because of this flexibility re time.

I have no issue paying OT but I would find a new nanny if I had this "cannot ever be late on a Wed" hanging over my head.

? You know your child is waiting for you, too. Your self-centered and self-important attitude is doing far more damage to your relationship with your child than it is your nanny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two things:

1. she absolutely should not have been late.
2. you are cutting it too close for the pickup. Your MB has a terrible history with being on time. Even if she didn't, one bad traffic day for her would land you in the same position.
3. Tell her if she's late on Wednesday in the future, you will take her child to pick up the other child, drop him off after, and charge her for all the extra time it takes you.

It is an unfortunate reality of the kind of job where you are the sole caretaker, that you can't leave until someone gets there.

OP here and thank you for your response. I only have one car seat in my car so I cannot take my charge and former charge in the car at the same time. And I really am not cutting it too close if MB is on time.

So get another car seat or another job. I think you are going to be annoyed at any job you get, though. There will always be that one thing that isn't perfect. The problem is that at some jobs, it's many more than one thing.

I am not a nanny, but I have never, ever had a job where I got off on time 100% of the time. Not hourly jobs, not salaried jobs, not casual gig jobs. Maybe people who work in a factory, I don't know. But most of those jobs had coworkers, so if I HAD to be out on time one day, I could arrange it in advance.

You should find another position, your family needs a nicer, more flexible & less demanding nanny.

Anonymous wrote:Why have you made it your responsibility to pick up your former charge straight after work?

Im an MB and my boss sometimes needs me to work late to finish a project, sometimes meetings run over, and other days there's heavy traffic. I schedule all my personal things at least 1 hour after my expected knock off time.

Also one the reasons I have a nanny and don't use a daycare is because of this flexibility re time.

I have no issue paying OT but I would find a new nanny if I had this "cannot ever be late on a Wed" hanging over my head.

Thank you. OP here and I think I will begin looking for a new position right away. I need more respect than what you and my MB are willing to give. As to your first question as to why I pick up my former charge once a week on my off-hours? Because I want to.

Why have you made it your responsibility to pick up your former charge straight after work?

Im an MB and my boss sometimes needs me to work late to finish a project, sometimes meetings run over, and other days there's heavy traffic. I schedule all my personal things at least 1 hour after my expected knock off time.

Also one the reasons I have a nanny and don't use a daycare is because of this flexibility re time.

I have no issue paying OT but I would find a new nanny if I had this "cannot ever be late on a Wed" hanging over my head.

Anonymous wrote:Two things:

1. she absolutely should not have been late.
2. you are cutting it too close for the pickup. Your MB has a terrible history with being on time. Even if she didn't, one bad traffic day for her would land you in the same position.
3. Tell her if she's late on Wednesday in the future, you will take her child to pick up the other child, drop him off after, and charge her for all the extra time it takes you.

It is an unfortunate reality of the kind of job where you are the sole caretaker, that you can't leave until someone gets there.

OP here and thank you for your response. I only have one car seat in my car so I cannot take my charge and former charge in the car at the same time. And I really am not cutting it too close if MB is on time.

Two things:

1. she absolutely should not have been late.
2. you are cutting it too close for the pickup. Your MB has a terrible history with being on time. Even if she didn't, one bad traffic day for her would land you in the same position.
3. Tell her if she's late on Wednesday in the future, you will take her child to pick up the other child, drop him off after, and charge her for all the extra time it takes you.

It is an unfortunate reality of the kind of job where you are the sole caretaker, that you can't leave until someone gets there.

I am a nanny with job that, up until yesterday, loved. Good pay, an adorable charge, and employers who respected me. Until yesterday...

My MB is often late coming home. It never really bothered me and I never even billed them for the time unless it exceeded 30 minutes. This has been going on for over a year. However situations changed and I agreed to pick up a former charge from daycare after work (at no charge - I just love this kid) once a week. I told MB that this was my situation and I could not be late on this one day a week - that she had to come home on time. She agreed. And for three weeks she wasn't late although I reminded her several times during the day. Yesterday, I reminded her in the morning that it was Wednesday and I had to pick up my former charge and texted her TWICE during the day to remind her and she was 30 minutes late! I called her several times during that 30 minutes and she only picked up after about 20 minutes (which generally means she wasn't in her car for the first 20 minutes). She apologized profusely when she got home but I was in no mood to discuss it or even speak to her.

When I got to my former charge's daycare, he was crying -- and told me that he thought I forgot him.

I am absolutely livid at my MB. She tried to call me last night and I was in no mood to pick up. I feel so disrespected and insignificant to not be given a thought on the ONE THING I asked of her. This morning when I got to work, she had flowers there for me and apologized again. I started crying tell her how the little boy was crying because he thought I forgot him. I also told her that we had to have major changes in our work relationship and that she now had to be on time every single day or I would start looking for a new position. Then she got angry and defensive and stormed out.

I am still angry.

So is this something we can get past? Where was I wrong? Should I just start looking for another position?