How would you feel about her caring for the new baby at your ex-husband's house on the days she's there, like a share? That would be such a blessing for the kids, who would live like "full" siblings, but might understandably not work.

You could drop new baby off or pay her for the extra time to come pick him/her up. Maybe your ex would even be ok with the reverse, having the older kids come to you on his days while the baby is still very small.

The older kids should not lose their beloved nanny over this, because it is going to make their transition to the new baby so much worse if she robs them of one of the only stable things they have had through the divorce and remarriage.

With that in mind, I think you either keep current nanny and have her only care for the older kids and hire a separate full-time nanny or go to the daycare route for the baby, or you increase current nanny's rate only during the hours when she is with you and she cares for the baby when she can along with the big kids, and then you hire someone part time only for the hours when your kids are with their dad.

Discuss it with your ex. Obviously a nanny cannot be in two places at once so you will either need a second nanny or he will.

My nanny has been caring for my two older children since my oldest was three months old. When my marriage ended, my nanny decided that she would continue to work for our family and basically go wherever the kids are. Now that I'm expecting a baby with my new spouse, I don't know what to do about childcare when my older kids are with their father. I need advice.