We always have our AP work thanksgiving morning (we host about 25 people), then she is off at like noon once the cooking is well underway. Give her time to relax and get ready for the meal and festivities.

Thanksgiving is the only holiday we have AP work for a few hours, half the time they are in the kitchen trying to help or be part of things, does not matter - if they want to cook or watch the kids either works - we just need the extra eyes/hands.

If you get a holiday, why shouldn't the AP get a holiday? Can you at least compromise and let her work half a day (that she gets to pick.)

Our au pair gets most of the Monday holidays (if DH and I are both off), Thanksgiving and the day after, and then from Dec 24-Jan 1 off.

This is in addition to her two weeks of vacation.

You mean you have your AP working all, or most, office holidays? As in these: https://www.opm.gov/policy-data-oversight/snow-dismissal-procedures/federal-holidays/#url=2017

That kinda sucks OP. It's a holiday for you, why can't your AP get a day off? We get things done around the house on holidays too (like today) but we set the kids up with special activities (new lego set, clay), have them pitch in with the household chores, and in the afternoon set them up with a movie. Having the AP work through holidays isn't the only way to get the house in order.

We used to have our AP sometimes work during holidays. But our kids were older, and this would be special occasions, as in help out a few hours in the morning perhaps drive one kid to a playdate, and then we do something special as a family in the afternoon, like going to a museum or to the movies. Basically we would turn a holiday into a family day and involve our AP in it. Otherwise, if we worked, AP would work. If we didn't, AP got the day off.

For an AP like yours who routinely does 9-5 Mon-Fri to ask her to do more of the same on a holiday so you both can go to Home Depot together, there is nothing in it for her. So I can see why she would complain about not getting the time off.

I can also appreciate why you would want the extra hands, as your kids are still very young. 1) you either let things slide... it is still a few tough years ahead of you where it's hard get anything done with two toddlers/preschoolers, or 2) get extra hands when you need them. Ask grandparents, or hire a part-time sitter. That's what we did when the kids were younger. Our 45hrs with an Au Pair were not enough.

No I dont make her work holidays if I am off.

My AP only works when we're both working or have an appointment or meeting.

To us, holidays are family time which might include getting stuff done around the house. Unless we work, the AP gets holidays off but is cordially invited to spend her time with us as part of the family but doesn't have to if she has other plans.

We do schedule her for Christmas Eve for family dinner and Christmas Day morning for unwrapping presents and breakfast though. So far, we were usually told they didn't consider it "work" and would have joined us for both anyways but we feel it's important for the kids to have both with the the "whole" family, which to us includes the AP and we don't want them to ask why AP isn't joining, so it's on the clock (and in the handbook). We get a babysitter for New Years Eve if we want to go out, which has so far happened once, we are usually in bed before the kids. However, we do expect our AP to work on holidays only if we both have to work which has happened maybe twice (I can remember one holiday where I was on a business trip and DH had to cover for somebody, might have been Memorial Day a couple of years ago).

My au pair is off all federal holidays except Columbus day, as my older child has an open house at school that day and I need someone to watch the toddler. If my job required me to work, I would ask my au pair to work holidays as well, but in general if I am off work my au pair is off too.

Most we don't make them work, but some are fair game.We lay out out holidays in our handbook - Labor Day, thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Easter, Memorial Day, July 4... Mlk Day/Presidents' Day/Columbus Day/Veterans Day aren't included though we strongly steer them to choosing those long weekends to take vacation and travel. We do a split vacation schedule where it's 1 full week off, then mix and match the other work days.. so far so good..

HF of 14 years here. Our au pair rarely work holidays - only unusual situations in which my husband and I had to go somewhere without the children. I think that has only been on New Year's Eve. I think au pairs are smart enough to know that there are very likely to work New Years Eve

Also, if your au pair is working 40 to 45 hours every week - does she ever get a week (besides her two week vacation) in which she works fewer hours? If not, then very likely that she may begin to feel a little resentful

Ive never had my AuPairs work on any holiday. I really cherish my time off and the time i have with my kids. I have no desire to dump them on my AuPair on a holiday.

Do you make her work every holiday? When does she get to relax or get things done? Sorry, but I think most people would be unhappy in a job where they worked every major holiday for no extra pay or time off. It doesn't sound like you're operating in the spirit of the program.

None of her AP friends worked New Years Eve? I'm sure there have been families who needed their AP on the holidays. She is upset because her specific friends happen to be free those days, and they want to hang out.

We are on our 3rd Au Pair and all of them work 40-45hrs a week including holidays. We have a 2 and 4 yr d so holidays is when we get stuff around the house done and we need someone to watch our kids. Our current Au Pair is balking at working on holidays and she says that all her friends don't work on holiday. I wanted to see what other families do on holidays.