Anonymous wrote:I would terminate her employment immediately and give a couple of weeks severance, just in the spirit of the holidays and to clear my conscience...even though you have multiple completely justifiable reasons for firing her.

Did she have good references, OP?

Yes she did have good references. Nothing was said that made me question if hiring her was a good fit.

Nothing in your update changes my advice OP. It just reinforces that you are overdue in making a change.

You need a new nanny.

Definitely make plans to let her go since your twins are at an age where changing nannies won't be as disturbing as it will be later on and it's clear from the issues that you've had so far that this nanny will not work out long term no matter what you say to her.

Personally I'd start your nanny search now and find a replacement before letting your current nanny go. It can take a little while to find someone who is a great fit and the holidays will definitely interfere with that. Now that you have a bit more experience with having a nanny figure out what are deal-breakers and address that upfront in your search.

For me that would include the nanny having reliable transportation to and from work, being willing to absolutely follow your directions on sleep schedule (or for that matter to have the common sense not to let toddlers nap after 5pm), and generally having their life together enough that you don't have to worry about drama from their personal life interfering at their job. There are great professional nannies out there, having one will make your life so much easier.

I'd have fired her at LEAST in July. I've had the same nanny for almost five years. Been late twice, called both times.

Fire her now. She is a person who makes bad decisions and tries to cut corners to make her life easier. She's got a good thing going with you, and is taking advantage of you and NOT taking advantage of the job you've given her.

So since you didn't fire her in July, I'd fire her today (or as soon as you can line up other care). I would not give severance. In ten months she's missed seven days of work? Hell no.

Severance is a kindness, and usually given IN LIEU of notice. If you give her two weeks notice, it would be kind to allow her to do some of her job search at work and to be flexible if she needs to go on an interview right after work, but then no severance.

Her life is chaotic. She makes bad decisions, or she's being chased by an abusive ex, otherwise who has time to move 4-5 times a year? She does not need a menagerie. She does not have to support her able-bodied boyfriend. It's holiday time, FFS, in an economy with 4.6% unemployment. All the retail and restaurants are hiring temp holiday people. He's not trying.

Also, next time, make reliable transportation part of the job requirements.

She doesn't come on time, has frequent personal problems that get in the way of performing her job, and she either won't follow your instructions or is not smart enough to figure out reasonable nap times. Let her go and find someone responsible. That person will need a job, too, and you will feel better about giving your money to her.

I would terminate her employment immediately and give a couple of weeks severance, just in the spirit of the holidays and to clear my conscience...even though you have multiple completely justifiable reasons for firing her.

Did she have good references, OP?

I'll add a couple of things in response to questions and comments.

1. She volunteered the info that she is moving frequently because it has caused her to be late when she doesn't gauge how much time it takes her to get to work on time.

2. We gave her a written warning in July because she had missed five days and been late several times at that point. The warning stated what the issues were and that she understood she could be terminated immediately if she continued to miss work, be late, or not provide appropriate supervision and interaction.

3. Her boyfriend was fired from his job a few weeks after she started working for us and has not worked since then. She says that no one anywhere in the area is hiring so he has to stay at home and take care of the dog and two cats they found and kept about 5 months after she started working for us. She is having to support both of them and their pets on her income. (info provided by her when she complained about him not having a job to me then asked if my husband knew anyone who could help him with a job).

4. I pay her $20 an hour-40 hours a week (legally with taking taxes out) and provided her with a cell phone for business use that I pay the cell phone bill and insurance for (not part of the original agreement. (she does take it home with her and uses it on her personal time as well which I don't mind)

5. My twins are 16 months old. The most recent sleep issue being last week when they were napping at 6:30pm when I arrived home. They woke up when I came in the door because of our door chime and did not fall asleep until midnight. When myself, my husband, or my MIL is here, the girls sleep about an hour in the morning around 10AM, take another nap about 1PM for an hour or so, are rubbing their eyes by 7:30PM, and are sleeping by 8:30PM.

6. We did not include severance in our contract since she is our first nanny. She stated she has been a nanny before, but did not ask me to put any benefits in writing other then vacation, PTO, and holiday pay to go into effect after one year of employment. Is severance standard to give nannies that are fired? I'm not sure how severance works at all to be honest with a nanny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd let her go this Friday with the final two weeks of pay as severance. She is obviously distracted and not attending properly to your twins. I am a mom of twins and would not be able to concentrate on my work with a nanny like this caring for them. Cut your losses before something happens you will regret.

I agree with this.

I also agree, and I also have twins. Failing to follow your clear instructions about a proper schedule for the twins is grounds for firing. All of the other clear evidence that she is not financially stable or responsible and has a chaotic (at best) personal life would be quite troubling to me. I also need someone who is a safe, reliable, and insured driver so that would eliminate her also.

If you feel badly for her be as generous as you can possibly be with regard to severance, but the safety of your children comes first and reliable childcare is critical for your family. Just make the change.

Anonymous wrote:OP how much are you paying her? I am not asking to be judgy I am wondering if she is bad with money or literally cant afford to live in this area.
How old are your kids? Im trying to get a guage of how long they should sleep during the day.
Sounds like she needs to get her life in order.

Either of these things may be true, but if OP can't afford to pay the nanny more and she isn't paying enough, then she needs to fire her anyway and put her kid in daycare. There is no resolution here that ends with the nanny earning significantly more.

OP how much are you paying her? I am not asking to be judgy I am wondering if she is bad with money or literally cant afford to live in this area.
How old are your kids? Im trying to get a guage of how long they should sleep during the day.
Sounds like she needs to get her life in order.

Anonymous wrote:I'd let her go this Friday with the final two weeks of pay as severance. She is obviously distracted and not attending properly to your twins. I am a mom of twins and would not be able to concentrate on my work with a nanny like this caring for them. Cut your losses before something happens you will regret.

I agree with this.

I'd let her go this Friday with the final two weeks of pay as severance. She is obviously distracted and not attending properly to your twins. I am a mom of twins and would not be able to concentrate on my work with a nanny like this caring for them. Cut your losses before something happens you will regret.

She sounds like she is struggling just to make ends meet.

However she should not be texting so much during work.

Sit down with her and let her know you are not happy with the status quo.
Explain the things that need to be changed and allow her sufficient time to prove herself to your family.

If you do decide to issue her her walking papers OP, I would most certainly wait until after Xmas.

Just because.

For the first item, I'm going to say it's not really any of your business but the other items are. If I were in your situation (or your nanny's ... I'm a nanny Btw) I'd sit down with this list and go over them line by line (except the moving part) and discuss why these things aren't OK and put an action plan in place. Have a clear understanding of what needs to be done and what will happen if it's not. Make sure she knows her job depends up her complying with your needs...being on present and on time, not letting the kids nap past 3:00 or whatever. (You don't say how old they are. Nap time will vary depending on their age.)

My nanny originally started out working on a trial basis and it seemed to be working out really well so we hired her to work 40 hours per week in February 2016. However, things seem to have steadily gone downhill and at this point we are at a loss on what to do because it is right before Christmas.

1. Nanny has moved 4-5 times since we hired her
2. Nanny does not have car insurance which I found out when her car was stolen and she had to get a ride to work from her boyfriend. Her second car broke down so she missed a day because she couldn't come. She borrowed a car, but had to give it back which I found out when she was 15 minutes late to work because she has to walk to/from my house.
3. Nanny has missed 7 days of work since starting and has been late several times. (My husband has had to come home in the middle of work shift so I could leave for work)
4. Nanny couldn't afford to pay for a cell phone and it was cut off so my husband and I added her to our cell phone plan and gave her a cell phone to use while employed to ensure that she has communication with us while she is at home with my daughters.
5. After having multiple discussions about my twins sleeping too much during the day, she continued to allow them to sleep at inappropriate times. (i.e. naps at 5pm, sleeping 3-4 hours in the morning after I leave for the day)
5. I have had several check cashing places contact me because on payday she goes there to cash her paycheck (which I'll add I'm not happy about multiple check cashing places having my personal information).
6. Yesterday, in a 2 hour time span in the morning, she was on the phone for an hour while working.
7. Today while working, she spent all day texting back and forth with her boyfriend over 100 text messages.

I'm thinking about firing her, but feel bad because it is before Christmas and I know that she is having a rough time right now. What advice do you guys have?