Anonymous wrote:I would let it go. She can call you whatever she wants. I had one mb call me dumb and dumber, even the kids called me that. I didn't complain because I knew it would only get worse.

You were a doormat, not a nanny. I'm sorry.

A coworker of mine younger than me by at least 4 years used to do this and I told her to stop and that it is minimizing to me. It's Not particularly mean but weird among grown people. This created a rift between us until I left that job. The funny thing is I left and my new job there is another lady there doing the exact same thing urghhhh what is with people???? Could be the way I carry myself or I don't know but I chose to now just ignore it. There is better things in life to occupy my time with.

doodlebug wrote:Is she southern? I think this is very common among southerners in particular. Other English speaking countries have terms of endearment that aren't as common among the average American (unless you're southern). It's not likely meant to be offensive and I'd let it go but that's just me.

I am from the south and only call my DH and children "Honey.". Otherwise, I was brought up to call people by their names or whatever they ask to be called by.

She isn't from the South originally and haven't heard her say it to anyone else.
I will let it go for the moment but it is weird.

Is she southern? I think this is very common among southerners in particular. Other English speaking countries have terms of endearment that aren't as common among the average American (unless you're southern). It's not likely meant to be offensive and I'd let it go but that's just me.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I wasn't referring to my MB being abusive to me but the other poster whose MB called her those awful names.
It may be just her way of building a rapport with me but it is quite strange. Maybe its because I look a lot younger then my age so she cant help but see me as a young kid.

It's cultural. Does not mean she is talking down to you, rather, it shows she likes you.

OP here. I wasn't referring to my MB being abusive to me but the other poster whose MB called her those awful names.
It may be just her way of building a rapport with me but it is quite strange. Maybe its because I look a lot younger then my age so she cant help but see me as a young kid.

MB here. It is probably just a thing she does with everyone, but it would bother me also.

I have a name that people turn into all kinds of nicknames that I loathe. I try to be assertive and tell them that I use X, not nicknames, but there are some who don't respect it.

So I have gotten really good at not responding when someone fails to use my name. When they have to try 2 or 3 times to get my attention I say something like "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize you were talking to me. I don't ever use that nickname."

Maybe you could try a variation on that. "Oh, I'm sorry - I thought when you said sweetie you were talking to the kids." Maybe she'd get the hint.

You could also try just saying "Would you mind calling me by my name. I always think you must be talking to someone else when you're using endearments."

Asking your boss to change her behavior likely will just introduce tension from her end. You're better off ignoring it or looking for a different job.

Anonymous wrote:I would let it go. She can call you whatever she wants. I had one mb call me dumb and dumber, even the kids called me that. I didn't complain because I knew it would only get worse.

You were crazy to allow this abusive behavior. You need some in-depth counselling in assertiveness training
No one has the right to call you derogatory names or even "cutesy" nicknames. You are entitled to be callled by your name or whatever name you choose to use.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I disagree. Just because I am emloyed by someone doesn't mean they can speak to me like trash.

Calling you sweetie and darling is not exactly speaking to you like trash.

OP here. I disagree. Just because I am emloyed by someone doesn't mean they can speak to me like trash.

I would let it go. She can call you whatever she wants. I had one mb call me dumb and dumber, even the kids called me that. I didn't complain because I knew it would only get worse.

Does she call everyone these kind of things? It may be a verbal tick of hers.

If it really bothers you, you need to say something before you've worked for her for months and just explode over it. But unless you're getting a really condescending vibe from her, I'd probably try to live with it.

I am a nanny and my MB calls me cutsey names like 'darling' 'sweetie' and 'sweetheart' a lot. There are only 4 years between us and I do find it weird, especially as I wouldn't call anyone but a partner or a young child those names.
It doesn't offend me as such but it does make me feel she doesn't take me very seriously which isn't fair as she knows that I have worked with kids for years in supervisory roles.
I don't know of any other MB's who do this. Should I address it or just leave it be?