If she'd told you herself I would think it was ok.

She should have texted you or written a note if she had to run out the door. It's a big deal. She should have told you.

I don't think you're overreacting. Yes, these kinds of things happen with young kids, and it's a great thing that your child knew what to do.

But I do think you have to discuss this with her. If this is the first such situation, I'd phrase it as something you haven't discussed but your DS mentioned getting lost in a store and you need to know if something like this happened. I would place the focus on it helps to know when he gets lost in whatever situation so you can make sure he knows what to do as well as address with him the importance of staying close to the nanny when on an outing.

If this has happened before, then I think you need to address this with her as a problem of whether or not she can handle both kids in certain situations and perhaps deciding together to change situations she cannot handle. I also think you should talk about why she didn't tell you and that, combined with past situations, is making you uncomfortable and less inclined to trust her.

It sounds like the first situation, so just talk to her about letting you know and move on. You sound like a thoughtful MB and not likely to make it a bigger deal than it is.

Nanny here. At first I was going to say that of course she must tell you this happened, but then I thought back to last week when I had my three charges at the shop with me and one of them wandered off among the shelves - he was gone maybe 45 seconds and I was only beginning to worry, but I didn't mention it to the parents since it really wasn't that big of a deal in my view. On the other hand your son was upset, so it must have been more of an issue than my story.

However, if she was rushing out the door that day or something big was happening (like, kids excitedly telling you about Halloween when you got in) and it simply slipped her mind to tell you, it's a different thing. I've had a couple of times when I had to send a text after I left work with 'sorry I forgot to mention...'. We're all people.

I'd mention it to her the next day and say that while you know it's one of those things that happens and you're sure she'll do her utmost that it doesn't happen again, you would appreciate it if she told you in the future.

You called her "his baby sister's nanny". That would indicate to me that she is usually not responsible for him and probably not used to managing both children. She probably didn't think it was worth mentioning since he was found and no worse for wear. My baby brother used to get lost in the store all the time and always end up at a cashier. It was because he was an active, curious little boy and this was in spite of having two older sisters and his mom keeping their eyes on him. It's a different world now but she may not be aware that you would want to know.

I would not send a nanny to do shopping while she's responsible for your two children. I know a few parents who can't manage all of that very well.

Thanks for the replies, feeling a lot less worried about her not mentioning it after a night's sleep.

I'm a mom, and I think you're overreacting. It left a big impression on your son, but in the moment, it may not have taken very long and she may not have thought it was a big deal -- kid wandered off, kid was perfectly safe the whole time, they were reunited.

If he was still upset, I would have hoped she would explain why, but if it was hours before you got home, eh.

To be objective, was she rushing out the door after work?

Or is there some free time before she leaves to discuss the day w/you?
Maybe she was planning on telling you the next morning??

I think she was afraid you would be angry & was banking on
your son not mentioning it to you.

If that is the case, she should have let you know.
I would think that she would want to disclose what happened to you to establish trust.

But maybe she was afraid of being fired and decided to just hope + pray that you never found out.

I'm a nanny and a mother. Yes, I do agree with you. you need to speck with her, you should never allow a child out of your eye sight. There are crazy people out here, that will take your child from your hand. But with that saying I can see my child doing the samething, speak to her to be more careful. and let her know, that it shouldn't happen again. if it happened at the store... it could happen at the park. where no one will call for you.

My 4 year old was home with his baby sister's nanny today and got lost when they were at the supermarket. I only know this because my son told me tonight when we were getting ready for bed. It was a pretty specific account (explained how he was crying, how a passerby brought him to the front of the store, called nanny on a loudspeaker etc). I am certain he is telling me the truth. He is totally fine, mentioned it in passing. I am not angry at all that this happened, kids can wander off fast, I totally get this. I am just confused and worried about the nanny not telling me. I really like our nanny, she is a sweet and kind person. That said, I really wish she had said something. I am not sure why she wouldn't, seeing as our son is very verbal. I'd like to keep her and think I will bring it up with her and make it crystal clear that she needs to tell me when something like this happens. Am I underreacting? Overreacting? I know this was a lapse on her part, I am just not sure how big of one. My trust is not gone, I think, but I am confused. Bleh. Would welcome others' perspective.