For the record, the maximum duration of crying I've ever planned to allow was 20 minutes and I never got that far.

I always intervene if the child becomes hysterical.

If the child is having an off day and needs to be held until sleep, that's no problem (it's actually my favorite part of the day when I get to hold a sleeping baby).

But CIO is more than 2-3 minutes of "settling in." At first you're letting the child know they are safe and secure even though you're not in the room; during that phase I often re-enter the room every 5 minutes. I do not pick up the child but sing or shush and sometimes touch / depends on the child. If you do this early enough (5 months sounds perfect) you can avoid additional - sometimes stressful - steps.

CIO does not mean your child screams herself to sleep indefinitely / it means she's learning that she is safe alone in her bed and can relax there by herself.

A good nanny who has experience with sleep training will be an invaluable resource for you.

If you refuse this very reasonable and child-friendly method because of special snowflake feelings, you might get lucky and have a good sleeper anyway. Or you may end up with a 4.5 year old who's slept through the night on his own once...

They allowed me to sleep train their second.

Anonymous wrote:I'm okay with 2-3 minutes of settling in. There's a difference between that and letting a baby cry alone for an hour. That's just cruel.

Sure you can find someone. I'm a believer in sleep training (mb) but I don't want my baby crying for an hour or even 30 min if it's actual serious crying or crying from fear (that's a very specific cry for her). My nanny is totally on board. She times the naps well and let's dd fuss for a couple minutes and dd goes to sleep by herself 95% of the time. There are occasions (I've been told and I've witnessed) when dd is just unhappy or scare or who knows what and needs a little more comfort and can't get down herself and then the nanny sits with her and holds her etc. dd is 9 months and a good napper and overnight sleeper. Wakes up sometimes, fusses a little and without 5-10 min goes back to sleep.
Just be clear on the limits and know your baby's cries and your nanny will too.

Are you at all open to a nanny offering her ideas/experience, as well a scientific or evidence-based articles on gentle sleep training?

If yes, then tell the Nanny you want her go be part of the team that helps your child learn good sleep habits, and ask for her input.

If no, you need to be crystal clear about your method and plan for your child's sleep, and lack of interest in any nanny input, in the interviewing process. You will likely have nannies choose not to interview with you, just FYI. Experienced nannies often wish to work for people who want to benefit from the years a nanny has spent caring for children.

Good luck!

If you specifically instruct your Nanny to not use this method, then as your employer she needs to do it in spite of how she personally feels about it.

Any GOOD Nanny will do this.

I'm okay with 2-3 minutes of settling in. There's a difference between that and letting a baby cry alone for an hour. That's just cruel.

I followed MB orders to jump every time the baby cried, they ended up with a 3.5 year old who still wakes up all night. So yes, we will follow your directions even when you are wrong.

It's a job...a nanny will do what you ask her to do. Does that mean what you ask her is particularly good for your child??? Well that's up to whoever you ask. As a nanny I believe sleep training is essential for babies, now does that mean "crying out" should be involved? Nope it doesn't. In my experience I noticed that if you space out à baby's sleep time well, feed her a good portion and make sure she is clean and in a dim quiet room; the baby should be able to SELF SOOTHE to sleep. Yes self sooth. I will save myself from explaining why sleep training is good for your child as I am sure you have already made up your mind and It's been hashed out on this forum many times....Do your own research to understand.

My husband and I are NOT okay with our 5 month old being "trained" to go to sleep on her own by letting her cry alone in her crib. To the nannies on this forum: if we make that clear to a nanny will she follow our wishes or just do it anyway? Do we need to make that known when interviewing? Not sure how common that method is so wanted to ask.