If the kid doesn't have a bruise you weren't doing it right. Lots of kids die because parents don't realize just how hard you have to hit them. Adults sometimes have cracked ribs from the heimlich. A bruise is much better.

OP here. I spoke with both MB/DB. MB told me that she didn't understand how serious the choking was. She thought it was minor (when a child coughs a couple of times while eating) and that a small pat or two on the back would take care of it. DB told her that my charge had turned blue and couldn't make sounds and that hard smacks to the back are necessary to dislodge the food. She apologized to me for her reaction, explaining that she was grateful for what I had done. They are also signing up for infant/child CPR/First Aid.
Thank you to everyone for you responses and support.
If you aren't certified, get your certification!! Red Cross and the American Heart Association offer excellent training.
If you are, you should brush up!! YouTube is a great resource for that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Great job OP!!!! Handle the situation like an adult. Tell her that you would like to schedule a time to discuss the situation with both parents and be sure that it is done on the clock. Be real with her. Tell her that her son could have easily died in the care of a less knowledgeable or less attentive caregiver. Tell her that you are sorry that her son has a bruise, but it is very common that a bruise is left when the heimlich is done on a baby and that you are extremely happy that the procedure was successful. Express to her that you have never been tested in such a scary way and that you are beyond pleased with your performance and hope they are as well.

Bull! OP has nothing to explain or apologize for. She saved this child's life and the mother should be on her knees begging OP to forgive her outrageous and unconscionable reaction. If she doesn't apologize OP should find a new job.

Grow up!!! There is nothing wrong with saying, "Sorry Larlo has a bruise on his back, but it is very common when giving a baby the heimlich." You can be sorry something has happened while not being sorry about what you did. The mother is having a hard time with this and handled it inappropriately. It is time for the nanny to take the lead, handle it appropriately, and address the mother's concerns. I also think the father should be a part of this conversation as the mother seems to not be able to wrap her head around this. The mother is having a hard time and it needs to be addressed in a responsible manner. Did you stop reading at apologize or are you naturally defensive?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you're sorry he has a bruise, but to please clarify what she would like you to do in a similar situation in the future - call her so she can get home to intervene, call 911...

It's possible she's unaware of how serious the choking was? But to be honest if I thought my nanny hit my child I would want to speak to her in person - or at least on the phone. Will you see her tonight?

I don't know w must DB told her. I told him that my charge turned blue. He had a look of terror in his eyes. It was horrifying. I didn't want to tell them over the phone, so I decided to tell DB. I don't see MB very often. She usually leaves before I arrive and gets home after I leave. It kind of makes me feel like she feels I was abusive to him. I'm just going to tell her that I did what I felt was necessary and that if he chokes, I'll do it again. If she wants a nanny who can perform gentle CPR, she can go out and find one. I won't risk his life because she doesn want him to be bruised. I spoke with my sister, who happens to be an ER nurse. She said that what I did is what they do in the ER and that it isn't at all uncommon for there to be bruising.

That's exactly what I meant - if she would rather you not perform proper CPR (which often leads to small damage) and call 911, or her, or whatever, then she needs to let you know (so you can get the hell away from them, because who would rather have a dead child than a bruised child??) What would she have liked for you to have done?!

So lucky that you just renewed your CRP certification though! I had a similar situation where a charge cut his chin on his nail when he fell off a couch (it was literally ten inches off the floor, I have no clue how he managed it). There was soooo much blood, but thankfully I had just done the course and knew what to do, so I was calm and was able to help efficiently and without panicking. Thank god both the parents took it as they should and were thankful I patched him up, calmed him down and washed all the bloody towels and clothes.

You did everything right! Any employer should be grateful you were able to intervene and save the child. Your MB is either unaware of how serious the choking was (like, maybe she thinks that it was one of those went down the wrong throat pat on the back things?), which is why I said that if I were in her shoes and thought my nanny did unnecessary damage to my child I would want to speak to her in person, not send her a shitty text. Or maybe she's just a dick.

Have you replied to the message or spoken to her?

Anonymous wrote:Great job OP!!!! Handle the situation like an adult. Tell her that you would like to schedule a time to discuss the situation with both parents and be sure that it is done on the clock. Be real with her. Tell her that her son could have easily died in the care of a less knowledgeable or less attentive caregiver. Tell her that you are sorry that her son has a bruise, but it is very common that a bruise is left when the heimlich is done on a baby and that you are extremely happy that the procedure was successful. Express to her that you have never been tested in such a scary way and that you are beyond pleased with your performance and hope they are as well.

Bull! OP has nothing to explain or apologize for. She saved this child's life and the mother should be on her knees begging OP to forgive her outrageous and unconscionable reaction. If she doesn't apologize OP should find a new job.

Great job OP!!!! Handle the situation like an adult. Tell her that you would like to schedule a time to discuss the situation with both parents and be sure that it is done on the clock. Be real with her. Tell her that her son could have easily died in the care of a less knowledgeable or less attentive caregiver. Tell her that you are sorry that her son has a bruise, but it is very common that a bruise is left when the heimlich is done on a baby and that you are extremely happy that the procedure was successful. Express to her that you have never been tested in such a scary way and that you are beyond pleased with your performance and hope they are as well.

I agree w/ the pp that what you did was awesome OP. Good for you!!!

The mother is an ass. The most charitable explanation is that she didn't grasp the severity of it, but I find what she said to you appalling. Whereas the father's reaction was entirely appropriate.

I'm sorry she didn't react the way she should have. I would take a permanent scar on my child's back if it was the result of being saved from choking.

Yay you!!

- MB

I think it is totally awesome that you saved this baby's life OP!!!!!

I agree with 19:09. There is absolutely no excuse for your MB to behave this way. This should be a huge red flag to you that this woman does not trust you, has no respect for your ability to keep child safe. You should look for a new position immediately. Even if she apologizes there is no coming back from her breach of trust in you.

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you're sorry he has a bruise, but to please clarify what she would like you to do in a similar situation in the future - call her so she can get home to intervene, call 911...

It's possible she's unaware of how serious the choking was? But to be honest if I thought my nanny hit my child I would want to speak to her in person - or at least on the phone. Will you see her tonight?

She talked to the father, and disclosed the bruise. This was a big time fail on MB's part, and I hope DB has told her so. I would be so freakin' happy you knew what to do, I wouldn't have stopped telling you how wonderful you are. This woman deserves to have you quit.

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you're sorry he has a bruise, but to please clarify what she would like you to do in a similar situation in the future - call her so she can get home to intervene, call 911...

It's possible she's unaware of how serious the choking was? But to be honest if I thought my nanny hit my child I would want to speak to her in person - or at least on the phone. Will you see her tonight?

You are a total idiot. The kid could choke to death and you are worried about a tiny bruise! She did not HIT the child to hurt him but TO SAVE HIS LIFE.

Ask her which she prefers, a small bruise or a dead child. She is a jerk.

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you're sorry he has a bruise, but to please clarify what she would like you to do in a similar situation in the future - call her so she can get home to intervene, call 911...

It's possible she's unaware of how serious the choking was? But to be honest if I thought my nanny hit my child I would want to speak to her in person - or at least on the phone. Will you see her tonight?

I don't know w must DB told her. I told him that my charge turned blue. He had a look of terror in his eyes. It was horrifying. I didn't want to tell them over the phone, so I decided to tell DB. I don't see MB very often. She usually leaves before I arrive and gets home after I leave. It kind of makes me feel like she feels I was abusive to him. I'm just going to tell her that I did what I felt was necessary and that if he chokes, I'll do it again. If she wants a nanny who can perform gentle CPR, she can go out and find one. I won't risk his life because she doesn want him to be bruised. I spoke with my sister, who happens to be an ER nurse. She said that what I did is what they do in the ER and that it isn't at all uncommon for there to be bruising.

Tell her you're sorry he has a bruise, but to please clarify what she would like you to do in a similar situation in the future - call her so she can get home to intervene, call 911...

It's possible she's unaware of how serious the choking was? But to be honest if I thought my nanny hit my child I would want to speak to her in person - or at least on the phone. Will you see her tonight?

I have been a nanny for over 10 years. I have been with my current family for over 3. My 13 month old charge began choking on a small piece of toast yesterday during breakfast. I just renewed my CPR certification and thankfully it was fresh in my mind. He turned blue and I jumped up, placed him tummy down in my arms and gave him 3 hard whacks to the back, when the toast finally flew out of his mouth. He was very upset, but was otherwise fine. Later in the day he developed a small bruise on his back where I smacked his back. DB is always the first one home. I told him about what happened and that my charge has a bruise. He thanked me profusely and said "that is exactly why we hired you." He said he'd tell MB.
I didn't see MB this morning, as she had already left. This morning she sent me a text saying that I had hit my charge's back too hard and that she was upset that he was bruised. I checked the bruise and it is very, very small and faint. I don't quite know what to say, as I had done everything I could to prevent him from choking. I always cut his food into small bites and monitor him while he eats to be sure that he doesn't shovel food into his mouth. Am I wrong to think that MB is out of line? Does she just not want me to save him next time?