Maybe she doesn't like you.

I'm a nanny and would never show any sign of annoyance or disproved of your decision to potty train (even if I didn't agree)!!! Your child, your decision! ! It's absolutely the nannies job to do as you ask. Potty training isn't rocket science, yes it's time consuming but part of the job.

I'm a nanny and have helped potty train many kids over the years, most of whom were right around their 2nd birthday. I'm not sure what your nanny's problem is but I'm sorry the relationship is fizzling. I can't imagine anyone wanting to wait until 3 (THREE!) to potty train but then I'm a big believer in there not being any such thing as "ready." They're ready when you decide to take the plunge and train them. No one is ever "ready" to stop having someone clean up after them and a two year habit is much easier to break than a three year habit. Not to mention three year olds are stubborn! ha.

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Gosh, all these responses make me so sad. I can't believe she'd be so relieved to see us gone - again, I just don't get it. I don't understand how a professional nanny with 10 years experience could find my son so troublesome. I really don't get how taking a willing child to the bathroom 3x/day has totally broken our relationship?? :/ Everyone I know in DC seems to demand that the nanny potty trains the child for them. Surely this is easier??

OP these responses are making me sad too, and are so typical of the nannies here lately. Potty training is a normal aspect of nanny care, she should have been fine with it, though it sounds as though she had a bad attitude way before that.

Some people are just negative people, they complain about everything and don't even realize it. Sorry you are going through this.
When I have to deal with this type of personality, I just try to be over the top positive. It makes me feel better and hopefully they will recognize the contrast to their own behavior and something will click.

OP YOU seem like a lot to deal with which is why I said nanny is probably excited to see you go. For whatever reasons it's not working out and it shows in nannys demeanor. Maybe your child is a handful during the day or perhaps you expect her to praise him everyday when you come, I don't know. Either way September is approaching and I wish you the best of luck.

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Gosh, all these responses make me so sad. I can't believe she'd be so relieved to see us gone - again, I just don't get it. I don't understand how a professional nanny with 10 years experience could find my son so troublesome. I really don't get how taking a willing child to the bathroom 3x/day has totally broken our relationship?? :/ Everyone I know in DC seems to demand that the nanny potty trains the child for them. Surely this is easier??

3x per day ? When I potty train I take them every 30 minutes.

I think you are over reacting op. September is very soon.

It may be that she just doesn't much care for this job, for whatever reason, and has been counting the days. Senioritis, you know?

I didn't start toilet training my DD until she was 3 months shy of 3 years old, because I didn't want it to be some long drawn out process. I know other people who start much earlier. Maybe she's more like me, and you're ... more like you. Whatever.

I'd have addressed the negativity the second time she acted that way by laughing and saying "And what POSTIVE things do you have to tell me about Jack? Surely the whole day couldn't have sucked."

OP here again. Gosh, all these responses make me so sad. I can't believe she'd be so relieved to see us gone - again, I just don't get it. I don't understand how a professional nanny with 10 years experience could find my son so troublesome. I really don't get how taking a willing child to the bathroom 3x/day has totally broken our relationship?? :/ Everyone I know in DC seems to demand that the nanny potty trains the child for them. Surely this is easier??

I'm not saying she should have acted that way about the potty training, but she clearly didn't want to do it. You have less than a month left. If it will make you feel better, go ahead and address it with her. This is no reflection on your son. She's just done with the job.

Sounds like it's not a good fit and I think your nanny will be delighted when you leave. Luckily you both don't have much time together left.

Perhaps she thought that potty-training a two year old was too young.
Or maybe she was too lazy to deal w/any accidents even if they weren't every day.

It just sounds like you & her were a bad match overall and it is a good thing your days w/her are almost over.

OP here - I didn't ask her to train him though - I actually stayed home for a week from work to get him over the beginning hurdles, and she literally just has to take him to the bathroom twice in the morning, once in the afternoon. I don't think that's unreasonable? Nearly every day he goes just fine. Like I say, he had maybe 1 accident per week in the beginning, but then even that stopped until he had another one yesterday, which resurrected all her frustration again. Sigh - I just don't get it. Every other person who looks after my son says only positive things. He's a very normal 2.5 year old - he's not overly difficult. He gets along with the other girl really well, eats and sleeps great. Doesn't hit, is generally really cooperative. I just don't get where the negativity comes from.

Like you said, it's almost over. It sounds like she didn't want to do potty training, and that "ruined" the share for her.

My 2.5yo is in a nanny share. He started the share when he was 18 months old, so it's been a solid year, and while generally I really like the nanny, and think my son has done really well in her care, the last months especially I feel like all I hear from the nanny is negativity. I pick up my son, and she immediately tells me all the bad things from the day, and very rarely mentions anything positive.

It really got bad when we decided to potty train him 3 months ago - she was adamant that he wasn't "ready," but we decided to move forward, and while he wasn't the easiest kid in the world to train, he mostly did really well. He'd have maybe one accident a week with her - but EVERY TIME she would tell me and give me this disapproving look and tone that clearly she was right - he wasn't ready. C'mon! It's normal for kids to have accidents, why not mention how well he's done every other day? Yesterday he had his first accident with her in a month, and it was the same criticism to me when I picked him up. I just hate this feeling of constant judgment with her. This is my first child, and my first experience with a nanny - I'm just wondering is this normal?

This is somewhat of a moot point because my son starts a preschool in September and will leave the share, but I'm really worn out by the criticism. I've actually counted the number of days I have left with her. Ugh.