I have five kids with a wide age spread, and we have moved several times, so I have hired a few nannies. My experience is that you can find nannies like this, but they don't last very long. They leave to go to college or graduate school or take a job with potential for advancement. The people we have hired that have stayed with us for years are very type B, very relaxed people who are comfortable letting the kids run on their own or watch tv and don't really feel like they need to be doing something all of the time.

I do agree with many of the comments here however I see what the OP is saying as well. As a nanny I have seen other nannies acting exactly as the OP said, in fact one nanny was so much engaged on her phone then helping her charge at the water fountain, shoving water in the child's mouth then pushing her off. The park I use to go to nannies acted just as the OP said. I do agree in balance, with kids in letting them explore on their own, but my attention is always on them even if just watching. Yes OP their are nannies out there who will engage your child as you would.

What I do agree with other comments here is that OP you do come across a bit judgemental but I understand what you are asking.

Free play is teaching them something. They can do all of the teaching activities at home or when it's raining etc.

OP I think it depends immensely on the age of your kid. When mine were toddlers, then yes, I followed them around, scooped them up when they fell, prevented them from doing something unsafe, etc. I am confident our nanny did the same and I have seen nannies at the park near us do all of this on a regular basis.

My kids are school aged now and I am not their playmate and I don't expect our nanny to be. We might sometimes kick a ball or I might push them on the swing but I wouldn't expect our nanny to be following them around the park past age 2. If she's chatting with a friend (in person or on the phone) it's perfectly fine with me. My kids don't nap and haven't for YEARS and her job is nonstop.

Anonymous wrote:I think that you OP are trying to stir the pot on here & unfortunately for you no one is taking the bait today.

Us fish aren't biting.

+ 1000

Anonymous wrote:I think that you OP are trying to stir the pot on here & unfortunately for you no one is taking the bait today.

Us fish aren't biting.

I agree! It's refreshing!!

I think that you OP are trying to stir the pot on here & unfortunately for you no one is taking the bait today.

Us fish aren't biting.

OP here. Wow. I didn't think I'd get that response. I understand needing a break -- that's what I expect they'd do while my kid is napping for a couple hours. I guess I'm looking for someone who will not just care for his basic needs, but actually engage and teach him something. Do those nannies exist? So I guess, more, "teacher like" nannies as opposed to "make sure my kid doesn't die" like nannies? Are they out there?

Meh. It depends on the age of the kid and the safety of the playground (is it fenced in like Stead Park or Chevy Chase with the soft rubbery ground)? I'd expect them to keep somewhat of an eye on my kid to make sure they weren't kidnapped or anything, but as long as my kid was safe and playing happily by herself, I don't see anything wrong with it.

Taking care of toddlers and kids is exhausting. Everyone needs a mental break now and again. I want nanny to be able to recharge her batteries so she can be patient and loving and kind when the situation calls for it. A kid happily playing at the playground while nanny checks Facebook or chats with other nannies is not a big deal to me.

Anonymous wrote:Mom here. When I'm at the playground w/ my kids I am thrilled if I can sit down and not entertain them for a little while.

I have no problem with their nanny letting them play on their own either (all basic safety being covered of course.)

Ease up on the judgment.

Exactly. Neither extreme is a healthy thing for the children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny does that at the park, most Moms do that at that park. Interacting with kids all day without some adult interaction is exhausting. I think it's fine.

One Mom came up to our nanny who was on her phone when my kid fell and said "they don't pay to be on the phone". Actually, we pay her to keep our kids safe, feed them well, provide discipline, take them to activities, interact with them, but also to let them be alone and experience what having a SAHM is like.

Kids with nannies are lucky because they have someone paying attention to them way more than kids who have a SAHM that cooks and does groceries and errands and laundry, maybe cleans and all the things nanny doesn't have to do.

She does a much better job than I would. That's good enough for me.

It's win, win, win if you can get your nanny to do all that to for no extra $$

pp here.
In DC!? Ha ha.

Mom here. When I'm at the playground w/ my kids I am thrilled if I can sit down and not entertain them for a little while.

I have no problem with their nanny letting them play on their own either (all basic safety being covered of course.)

Ease up on the judgment.

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny does that at the park, most Moms do that at that park. Interacting with kids all day without some adult interaction is exhausting. I think it's fine.

One Mom came up to our nanny who was on her phone when my kid fell and said "they don't pay to be on the phone". Actually, we pay her to keep our kids safe, feed them well, provide discipline, take them to activities, interact with them, but also to let them be alone and experience what having a SAHM is like.

Kids with nannies are lucky because they have someone paying attention to them way more than kids who have a SAHM that cooks and does groceries and errands and laundry, maybe cleans and all the things nanny doesn't have to do.

She does a much better job than I would. That's good enough for me.

It's win, win, win if you can get your nanny to do all that to for no extra $$

Our nanny does that at the park, most Moms do that at that park. Interacting with kids all day without some adult interaction is exhausting. I think it's fine.

One Mom came up to our nanny who was on her phone when my kid fell and said "they don't pay to be on the phone". Actually, we pay her to keep our kids safe, feed them well, provide discipline, take them to activities, interact with them, but also to let them be alone and experience what having a SAHM is like.

Kids with nannies are lucky because they have someone paying attention to them way more than kids who have a SAHM that cooks and does groceries and errands and laundry, maybe cleans and all the things nanny doesn't have to do.

She does a much better job than I would. That's good enough for me.

When I'm at the playground with my son I'm walking around with him, encouraging him, laughing and playing. If he sees a friend and is socializing with them I step back and let them play. When I look around at the nannies they're socializing with each other or on their phones, only engaging with the kids to correct bad behavior or if someone gets hurt. It seems like the norm across the board. Honestly are there other nannies out there that don't fall into this mold? And how do I find them?