Years ago I was an aupair (current nanny) and whenever families chose another candidate they said it was because I didn't have siblings. So maybe asking if they have younger siblings is important? Especially if they're the eldest and they were involved in the kids care. I think families also like Aupairs who come from a big family and are used to kind of living in chaos/with lots of people.

Anonymous wrote:While it may sound like the host family must just find the perfect au pair, often it is the responsibility of the host family to let the au pair have a more realistic view of what their year in America will be like. A young person from another country might feel intimidated to ask too many personal questions, and even though she might be the perfect worker that the host family is happy with, you might end up with a very home sick ap who wants to go home early.

I know one person who worked for a family in the UK and left early.

As a HF with Ccap we fill out an incredibly detailed profile that the prospective AP can (and should) read. I expect them to ask questions even with the massive detail in our profile. If a candidate is too intimidated or unmotivated or whatever to ask questions she's not the AP for me family. I like smart, motivated, take charge girls. That's why their questions to me and the overall back and forth are so critical.

While it may sound like the host family must just find the perfect au pair, often it is the responsibility of the host family to let the au pair have a more realistic view of what their year in America will be like. A young person from another country might feel intimidated to ask too many personal questions, and even though she might be the perfect worker that the host family is happy with, you might end up with a very home sick ap who wants to go home early.

I know one person who worked for a family in the UK and left early.

Anonymous wrote:Let au pair ask you questions

Are you willing to let the au pair talk to the previous au pair?
Will you as a family follow the au pair guidelines and rules with regard to rules stipulated by the program

Will the au pair have freedom to roam? Is public transport available, can it be used after hours, on weekends

how many weekends and evenings is the au pair expected to work

are the children disrespectful, how will you handle it if au pair complains about children?

do you cook meals at home?
how welcome is the au pair to come and watch tv with you, have dinner at the same table, be a guest when family comes to visit?

Is she expected to be the neighborhood nanny during play dates?

Ummm, the OP asked for questions to ask the potential APs. I happen to agree that it's important to consider what questions your AP is asking (though I remain perplexed why PP then provides a bunch of questions which would be great if OP were an AP asking what questions he or she should ask potential HFs, or if the OP asked what considerations she should have when deciding whether to get an AP)....

But in any event, I do agree that it's great advice to listen to the questions being asked by the AP candidate. I have learned just as much from their questions to me, as I have from their answers to my questions. For example, if there are bunch of questions in the VERY FIRST email about perks, but none or virtually none about my child or family? See ya! I expect an AP will have those questions, but I don't expect they will be the top/first ones she asks.

Let au pair ask you questions

Are you willing to let the au pair talk to the previous au pair?
Will you as a family follow the au pair guidelines and rules with regard to rules stipulated by the program

Will the au pair have freedom to roam? Is public transport available, can it be used after hours, on weekends

how many weekends and evenings is the au pair expected to work

are the children disrespectful, how will you handle it if au pair complains about children?

do you cook meals at home?
how welcome is the au pair to come and watch tv with you, have dinner at the same table, be a guest when family comes to visit?

Is she expected to be the neighborhood nanny during play dates?

Anonymous wrote:Our next AP will either be the oldest in a large family, or a middle child of a larger family.

This only child could do her own laundry when she was 10 and could cook dinner when she was 8 (because single-mom didn't enjoy cooking) and mop floors, wash windows, bake cakes, vacuum, go grocery shopping, iron her own clothes when she was a teenager

"When you are sick, do you take medications? Does this include antibiotics if a doctor prescribes them?"

I have just read that yesterday... I would never have come up with that idea before. Vaccines, yes. But praying something away instead of taking an antibiotic feels so alien that I would never even have come up with the thought before.
Depending on where you match from, that actually seems to be a very valid question.

Also find out AP's birth order in her family or if she is an only child.

Our AP was the youngest of 4 children, and she was the only girl. I wish I had asked this before she got here, because she ended up being like another child in the house. She had never taken out the garbage, she never put her dishes in the sink, and basically let us wait on her the first month she was here. She also was lazy with the kids and expected the kids to entertain her rather than the other way around. We had to have a hard reset conversation, which threw us all off track. Our next AP will either be the oldest in a large family, or a middle child of a larger family.

Two additional suggestions, learned from recent aupairmom threads:

1) Ask an AP candidate, "When you are sick, do you take medications? Does this include antibiotics if a doctor prescribes them?" There is an AP on aupairmom who was told to take antibiotics for whooping cough and who refused saying that any medicine is against her religion.

2) Rather than asking "do you eat everything or are you a picky eater?" describe to the AP candidate how YOUR FAMILY normally eats and ask her to talk about the differences in how she normally eats and what she would need to make your diet work for her. When APs check "I eat everything" on the application, in most cases, they really think they do, becasue they eat everything that their mothers or grandmothers or community tend to put on the table. We learned through a few APs that this meant, in their experienes, heavy on the meat and no fresh vegetables at all. We have now learned to describe in great details some of our common go-to dinners (we eat with the seasons and cook largely from an organic CSA), and we talk with our APs about what additional they would want (meat added? if so, what kind of meat? do you eat pasta at every meal and would you want that added? rice?). This has helped enormously and we have had few food-related issues since.

^^^^ Good call. Also ask potential AP if she/he would have any problem getting a flu shot if your family believes in vaccinations.

Our AP arrived in October, which was right around the time our whole community was getting flu shots. She had no problem getting the shot once we explained the necessity, but one of her AP friends refused and the family was not too happy.

PP, if you have young children, ask if she has been vaccinated agains the most common childhood diseases (measles, rubella, whooping cough etc.).

When asking about chores / cooking add a couple of questions about dietary restrictions / food preferences.
If your AP says she is vegetarian ask how "vegetarian" she is (I have just come back from a business trip with two "vegetarians" - both ate fish, one ate chicken...).
If you have pets, ask about that. If you are planning to get a pet eventually, ask about allergies.
Don't forget to ask about allergies / food intolerances in general.
Is she religious? Does she want to go to church? Is there a church of her denomination where you are and if not, would this be a problem for her?

Does she play an instrument?
Sports?
Is she artistic?

Is there anything special you think an AP would need to be a good match for your family?
If so, ask.
Do you have guns in the house? If yes, ask her if she has ever been around guns. Guns in the home is something some APs have problems with.
Do you have nanny cams? Is this a problem for her?
Do you work from home? How does she think this would influence her work with the kids? How would she keep the kids away from you if you can't be disturbed?
Will you need an erratic schedule with constantly changing hours? Or do you need her to work late in the evenings? How does she think she would handle all her friends being out together and she couldn't join them because she was working?
Do you want her to help your kids with homework? Is there an area your kids need support in? Is she comfortable helping with middle school maths?
How unique is your "unique situation"? And will this have an influence on your AP's time with you? (new baby? move? illness in the family?)

Make sure to ask open questions that cannot simply be answered with yes or no. The more you get her to talk, the easier it will be for you to judge her English and her personality.

I think any question about how an AP would handle something in the US is difficult if AP has never been there.
"What's an example of a meal you might feed my kids for breakfast/lunch/dinner?" - in principal is a good and valid question but what AP might feed your kids from her non-US point of view might widely differ from what you would want your kids to have. Foods differ. When large meals are eaten differs (in some countries lunch is the main meal while in others it's dinner). You might want your kids to eat oatmeal / cereal in the morning while a German AP might answer "bread and cheese." Maybe "When caring for children, do you cook for them? What kind of food do you usually prepare for them?".

If you aks a "What would you do if..." question and are not satisfied with the answer because it's not what you would do, see what happens if you share your point of view. She says A, you want X. Tell her how you would handle the situation and ask her if she understands why you think X would be the better way with your kids (or in the US). Have her explain to you why she said A and why she thinks you want X. Same for disciplining misbehaving children. How she currently disciplines / handles misbehaving children is based on the norms of her home country and what the families she works for want her to do. If her answer does not reflect what you do, tell her and ask her why she thinks you do it the way you do.

if it's a skype interview, get them on skype with your kids. the best ones don't run out of things to say to your children.

KIDS
What do you consider a productive day when babysitting children?
What age children do you have experience with? What activities do you do with those children?
How much time do you spend on your cell phone/computer? Do you do facebook, instagram, etc?
How do you handle a child who is misbehaving?
How were you punished or disciplined by your parents when you were growing up?
How much TV, games, and ipad use do you think children should have each day?
How would you comfort a crying child?
Do you get along better with boys or girls while babysitting?

DRIVING
How long have you had your driver's license?
How often do you drive?
Manual or automatic?
Have you ever driven in snow?
Do you drive in the rain?
What's the farthest you've ever driven?
How often do you drive on a highway?
Have you ever been in an accident?

CHORES
What chores do you do around your own home now?
How often are you expected to do chores at your house?
Who does the cooking in your house?
Do you know how to cook?
What do you know how to cook?
What's an example of a meal you might feed my kids for breakfast/lunch/dinner?
Do you generally pitch in with chores, or do your parents remind you to do chores?

INDEPENDENCE
Have you ever been away from home before? For how long?
What other jobs have you had?
Why did you decide to become an au pair (other than because you love children)?
Why do you want to come to American as opposed to getting a job or going to school in your home country?
Have you ever had your own bank account?
What do you hope to achieve with your time in America?
What is your ideal host family like?
What does an ideal day look like with your host family and kids?
What's a typical day like for you right now? For instance, tell us about your day yesterday, or your weekend.

SWIMMING
Do you know how to swim?
How long have you been swimming?
Have you ever watched children while around a pool?

ABOUT THE AU PAIR
What do you do in your free time?
How do you think you'd spend your free time in America?
Do you have any major family events you'd miss out on if you came to America?
What are your long-term career goals or life goals?
Are you the type of person who likes to plan things, or are you the type of person who likes to live in the moment?
Tell us about your personality: do you like being around people most of the time, like to spend time in your room relaxing, like to be with friends, more introverted/extroverted, etc.
What are your biggest strengths?
What are your biggest weaknesses?
If under 21, how do you feel about America's drinking laws that people under 21 cannot drink alcohol?

Have you visited aupairmom.com? They have loads of resources for matching.

http://aupairmom.com/

http://aupairmom.com/matching-share-one-great-interview-question/2009/02/06/celiaharquail/

http://aupairmom.com/texas-host-moms-12-step-au-pair-matching-process-guest-post/2015/06/06/celiaharquail/

http://aupairmom.com/matching-what-should-a-potential-au-pair-tell-you-about/2009/10/23/celiaharquail/

Hi,

My family kind of found itself in a unique situation in which we may be bringing on an Au Pair this summer. I am very new to this process, although it's something that we have thought about off and on over the years. What are the best interview questions that you'd recommend? We would need to make a decision fairly quickly

Thanks!