Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Original topics: there is also a 1 year old here too but mom is pretty much with him all day.

So you were hired to take care of the 4 year old while she cares for the 1 year old?

Initially the position was for the 1 year old and 4 year old, circumstances changed to me focusing on 4 year old, then over a month ended up being me watching 1 and 4 year old. The 1 year old has to be rocked to sleep and is still clinging to mb full force so it's taken time for baby to get used to me. Eventually goal for mb to go on errands etc.

Anonymous wrote:Original topics: there is also a 1 year old here too but mom is pretty much with him all day.

So you were hired to take care of the 4 year old while she cares for the 1 year old?

Original topics: there is also a 1 year old here too but mom is pretty much with him all day.

Makes me think of the little boy in game of thrones...the one little finger marries...

Anonymous wrote:Original topic: The mom doesn't want him in school because of germs. We only go outside like once a week if that. I'm working 50 hours a week, no overtime. I chose job seemed well with parent but over time I have seen things are a lot different. She won't let me have any say in anything really.

So the child isn't allowed to go to school because mom is a germaphobe, and can't go outside for similar reasons?! OT kicks in at 50 hours, unless you live-in, contact wage and labor board asap. And if she micromanages everything, walk away.

Original topic: The mom doesn't want him in school because of germs. We only go outside like once a week if that. I'm working 50 hours a week, no overtime. I chose job seemed well with parent but over time I have seen things are a lot different. She won't let me have any say in anything really.

19.25, to 20.27 & 21.37 & 1.52:

Many parents choose not to have children in pre-k until the year before K or they choose to skip pre-k completely. A parent who intends to homeschool won't put the child in daycare or pre-k, but may hire a nanny FT when the child is 4 or 5 with the thought that the nanny will homeschool the child. If the child just turned 4, next year could be pre-k (4, turning 5 after Christmas), followed by k the following year (5, turning 6 after Christmas). There are plenty of places that only have expensive preschools with hours that don't fit the parent's schedules, so the parents hire a FT nanny until the child is ready for FT school. Or the family could be wealthy and prioritizing SAHM's social schedule over spending time with her child. We don't know. But to assume that pre-k or daycare is the right option for every 3-5 year old child is foolish.

Even if you talked this over with his parents directly, no good will come of it since it looks to me as if they just have an opposite parenting philosophy. Period.

Unfortunately the only advice I can offer is to find another nanny position.

This one is not a suitable match at all.

You're so right....Children always behave differently when they know the parent is home. And that never bodes well for the nanny.

Good luck. I know from personal experience this is a toughie.

Anonymous wrote:Why would a SAHM with one 4 year old want a nanny? Why not just put him in daycare if she needs some free time?

Or peek where he belongs at that age.

it won't get better OP its weird for a SAHM to be this way though, its usually the parents that work outside the home that treat their kids this way out of guilt and feel they can't say no to anything or call out misbehavior. I don't know if you meant WAHM or not but that usually isn't as bad because they have to work and are busy during the day. I worked for one of those before and made it a year but won't ever do it again.
but why would a child that old need a FT nanny? He should be in pre k. this doesn't make any sense at all.

why did you accept the position? did you get to meet them all together and spend time before you started? why take this job in the first place...

Why would a SAHM with one 4 year old want a nanny? Why not just put him in daycare if she needs some free time?

1. New toy every day: no way, that's not something I understand, but that's not something that would make me walk.
2. SAHM there all day with you and 4 year old boy: Ok, but only if you are able to do your job without interference. In your situation, no way, I would walk.
3. No boundaries and no consequences: No way, I would walk.
4. No independence: No way, I would immediately let her know that he would be working towards independence or I would be leaving.

With all 4, I would be walking immediately.

OK, from my experience - this is not going to change.
It's going to be really hard for you if you stay.
Find another job.

Hi- I recently started working for a family the boy is 4. The mom is a stay at home mom and there all day while I am. There are no real consequences for behavior and there is always an excuse that he's tired, sick, hungry etc. but he does this a lot. The child listens to me when it just me and him but when he is around mom he acts out. The problem is she does not set any boundaries, let's him get away with tantrums, he's 4 and should be able to put on his own socks, shoes, clothes and yes I have directed him with how to do it but if he refuses immediately she says it's okay. The parents also buy him a new toy everyday I mean everyday. I feel that I have different philosophies then they do and I'm finding it difficult to enjoy my job. I don't want to be too picky and I'm quick to adjust but it's hard to work when I don't agree with having no boundaries.Any advice nannies/parents?