Showing up late that often is just an irresponsible employee with zero respect for both you and your family.

I would offer a very strong warning first then let her go if she doesn't change her ways stat.

I'd look for a new nanny. Being late is unacceptable. You're overthinking this.

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Thanks for your insight. We are paying $18 per hour for regular rate and then overtime is $27. Is this considered below market or more average?
This was her asking rate.

We are completely understanding of time off and once in a while difficulty to make it in but it has become excessive.

Re. other PP's question, the agreement does mention the right to terminate the relationship with excessive absenteeism or lateness as a reason.

We are completely open to seeing a change for the better and then forget about all this but feeling this might be a sign of her wanting to move on. I hope we are wrong.

I'm the PP that asked about your rate, and it sounds fine, especially since it was her asking rate. At that rate you should be able to reasonably expect and find a punctual and reliable nanny. I would recommend a "come to Jesus" talk. She needs to know you mean business and won't tolerate anymore nonsense. Be prepared to replace her, as she may not get it together, or she may not like hearing that she's screwing up.

Your rate is good. My feelings as a MB about being flexible has changed after a few bad outcomes.

I am no longer very flexible. For example, I would not give any extra PTO, I would not let her bring her child except for an emergency, I would not pay for the late time if it's happening more than once in a blue moon.

I was very flexible with our first two nannies, and it ultimately felt like the lines had blurred too much. They felt empowered to ask for whatever they needed in terms of accommodations or time off, without trying to find alternative arrangements first, and I felt like I had backed myself into a corner because I had agreed to things to begin with.

It was almost as if they didn't take it seriously as a job because I was so accommodating. They were acting like it was almost a freelance gig or something, and we were working together more as partners than employee/employer.

That was a long thing to say that it might be worth sitting with her and saying that the status quo is not working, and you are sorry if you made her think the job was more flexible than it really can be. Then, you need to tell her the expectations and how long you're willing to give it before you need to make a change (i.e., find someone new). See how she reacts. It may be that she doesn't want a strictly regulated job, and it may be that she can see it more clearly and will start being more reliable.

You need to make it clear that the individual reasons she is out or late are not the issue and you're not going to argue about each one. You need someone who shows up on time pretty much all the time, and plans days off in advance.

MB here. Your rates are fair, especially if they are the rates she quoted you and she's been with you for only 6 months.

I would have a calm, direct conversation with her. Lay out the absences. Be factual and accurate about the time she has missed, the number of days she is late, etc... Then say that this is not sustainable for you - you need ontime arrival at least the significant majority of the time, and if the pattern of absences continues then this will not be something you are able to support. Ask her to talk about whether she thinks this job and these hours are still a good fit for her. Tell her you would far rather have an honest conversation about how things are working out, than to go through some extended difficult period.

See what she says. Perhaps say "Ok, then let's see how the next few weeks go and plan to touch base again in a month." And see what happens.

Or, perhaps you'll find out it isn't working and you'll need to move forward. But I would be VERY wary if you are already seeing this at the six month mark.

OP here.

Thanks for your insight. We are paying $18 per hour for regular rate and then overtime is $27. Is this considered below market or more average?
This was her asking rate.

We are completely understanding of time off and once in a while difficulty to make it in but it has become excessive.

Re. other PP's question, the agreement does mention the right to terminate the relationship with excessive absenteeism or lateness as a reason.

We are completely open to seeing a change for the better and then forget about all this but feeling this might be a sign of her wanting to move on. I hope we are wrong.

Sounds like the nanny is ready to move on.
What does your agreement say about termination, OP?

What rate are you offering OP? I ask not to be inflammatory, but if you're offering a below market rate, you tend to end up with less reliable/qualified options.

By the sound of it, she's used up her sick time for the year. Let her know that going forward, last minute call outs will be unpaid, and x more this year will result in her termination. If she is going to call out, she need to do so by x time. Requested changes to the schedule require 2 weeks of notice and approval by you, and she will have to apply her vacation to cover the days/hours. Remind her of her start time, and let her know that if she is more than 5 minutes late you're going to start deducting it from her pay. If you go this route, have your own house in order and make sure you aren't regularly keeping her late.

As for your part in this, you allowed her to bring her child so that's not something you get to hold against her. You have a right to expect your caregiver to be punctual and reliable, but depending on what you're paying, you may have a hard time finding that. Backup plans are your job. Even the most reliable of nannies have to take time off. We're human. You need to think through what your options will be when this happens.

We have had our nanny for the past six months and loved her. Our son loves her too. Which brings us to the issue: in the last 3 weeks, she called out three times for one to multiple days at a time (sickness, sickness of her own child, sickness of her family member...), she does not arrive right on time for the shift, always at least 10 to 15 minutes late which is not a huge deal but places a strain on our schedules on a regular basis... She calls out last minute which makes us scramble, miss work hours, etc... Her personal requests for changes in the schedule are also increasing. We do not have family here which makes it difficult to have plan B to the ready.
We have been generous with her (good pay, sick pay, allowing her to come with her child at our home and not reducing her hourly wage, vacation paid, etc...) in the last few months.
We are seeing this shift and are wondering if this means we should just be starting to look for someone else... or are we being too harsh? We are borderline wondering if she is not picking up shifts somewhere else at this point.
We have tried addressing the issue with her and received some excuses that we did not think were appropriate considering we hired her to be reliable.

Any experience with excessive absenteeism and lateness with your nannies?